*
I should be in bed right now. I will go to bed in a few minutes, as soon as I finish writing this and send it out into the world.
Really. I will. I have to get up very early tomorrow. Remember that time is relative. For someone who works until past midnight several days a week and goes to plays on other nights of the week, getting up at 7:00 AM is very early, indeed. Not so for my running and mountain climbing friends, I know.
But what's up with the title of this piece? It's my creative live over the past couple of weeks.
Last week I interpreted "The Road to Mecca" by Athol Fugard at Profile Theatre. And it was wonderful. The play is beautifully staged and acted and directed. The story well told. And my team interpreter was awesome to work with. And I feel we did well. I also had the opportunity to see someone I haven't seen for a few years who attended the performance - himself a playwrite, author, sign coach, and more.
Last night I interpreted "I Love to Eat" by James Still at Portland Center Stage. That is also well staged, the actor does a marvelous job of being James Beard, and it is a fun show. I would have loved to have had a larger Deaf audience - but those who were there for the interpreted performance were awesome. And I was prepared for that play and I had fun doing it.
Then tomorrow, yes. The reason I'm getting up early is because I'm going to a one-day writing conference put on by author and editor Jessica Morrell : "Making it in Tough Times." There is a great lineup of presenters throughout the day, promised writing time and "instant feedback" (optional). I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. Early, but worth it. Tomorrow will be a day of creativity coming in and I am looking forward to it. One friend from out of town is spending the night because she's going to the conference, too. And one of the Monday writers is going, as well.
This is a good time. It's been a little busier than I like for the past three weeks - but for good reason. The next month my schedule slows and I will take the time to enjoy it before the onslaught of March and another round of creative output for two theatrical performances and poetry competition.
And my editing of the book continues, as does the feedback from and to my Monday writing group. That is going really well. I still have some edits to finish for this week's submission to the group, but I did finish up this week's feedback for the other writers.
Yes - Mecca, Beard, Making It. Thank you universe for these inspiring and pleasant experiences.
For now, good night. And may sleep come quickly!
*
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
One Month In : How am I Doing?
*
I set some intentions at the beginning of the year. And while I haven't forgotten that I set them, I also haven't been consciously thinking about what I said. Neither good nor bad, it just is.
Today I went on a search through earlier posts for something else. I haven't yet found what I was looking for because I got sidetracked with this idea and other things have come up. I will get back to that. But I came across my intentions and I decided to take a look at them and see how I'm kicking off this year in terms of those intentions.
Not bad.
Here is my list of 2013 intentions:- to renew my writing schedule, including focused editing on both the novel and the memoir;
- to find physical activities which are also fun and varied enough to fit my schedule and interests (to which I can say I am off to a great start with the new Wii, including Wii Fit with the balance board; will also include hiking when the weather is a little better, and hopefully kayaking again);
- to maintain some true down time in my schedule (pajamas til 5pm kind of days);
- to spend more quality time with my partner;
- to spend more time with friends - talking, writing, hiking, creating, bicycling, eating or drinking wine, and more;
- to be present.
I know there are still 10 days left of the first month of 2013, but I'm doing pretty well so far.
- Renew my writing schedule? Partially thanks to my new Monday writing feedback group, I am writing on a (somewhat) regular basis. We only meet in person once a month (on a Monday), but the other Mondays we submit a piece of writing to each toher which is between 10-20 pages (or under 5000 words) and we exchange feedback on the previous week's writing. Because of this, I spend at least two days writing on my work in progress (WIP) and two to three days doing feedback. I am also back on track with writing my blog posts for the theater. And, other than the theatrical blog posts, I haven't written anything from scratch - but I'll get there. Maybe in February. Okay - "writing scheduled renewed" - check. Oh, and this Saturday I'm going to a one-day writing conference.
- Physical activities which are fun and varied? Check. I'm back to the pool now that I'm over the winter illness that made the rounds, including a couple of passes through my sinuses and throat. I'm not going to the pool often (see "down time" below), but I'm going. What I AM doing is the Wii. Almost every day. I've only missed 2 days on the Wii in the past 3 1/2 weeks - and one of those days was a swimming day. I spend at least 30 minutes every day with Wii Fit Plus, and my average is 45 - 60 minutes. My top day was 3 hours - although not all at one time. And I'm having fun. The Wii Fit Plus has aerobics, balance games, yoga, strength training, and "training plus" which includes body-mind coordination, some aerobics, marching band type fun, snowball fights, skateboarding tricks (which I would never do in my 3-D life) - fun!
- True down time. Um. Er. Well. Uh. Next month? If you read my most recent post you get the basic idea. It's a whirwind of performance interpreting right now and that's good and fun. But is not conducive to down time. No performances next month! Time to rest up and rejuvenate for March with two plays and some awesome poetry recitation. So - no. Still working on it.
- More quality time with my partner. Check! Could still use more of this - but we're working on it. We're both creative and at least partially self-employed. She is working on promoting her book, teaching art classes, art coaching, preparing for upcoming art retreats and has her therapy practice, as well. So, it's not just me. But we've had a date a week, which is an improvement. So, yes.
- Time with friends? Yes, some. Want even more, but working on that, as well and some positive change.
- Being present? Check. Yes. I'm actually doing really well on this one and it's good. Not always easy; sometimes I'd rather check out or go to the wha'-me-worry?/head-down-plow-through mode, but I don't. I am present and keep with what is happening and get through it just fine. Imagine that! And without any major anxiety issues. Yay.
So - as we near the end of the first month of 2013, I'm doing pretty well on those intentions. I'm riding a creative wave and that feels good. So rather than fuss about not having enough time for writing, I will enjoy the writing time I do have and enjoy the performance interpreting time and go with the ebb and flow of my two major creative adventures. And keep on with the Wii and increase the pool time as I can, and add in some outdoor adventures as things more in a more temperate weather direction - which is a ways off yet.
Good. Good for me.
*
Saturday, November 24, 2012
NaNoWriMo Day 24 : Sleep and Slow Down
*
I wrote about 400 words on my NaNoNovel today. Again, that's okay. I stayed up pretty late doing something which turned out to not be necessary, I found out several hours later when I made my "middle of the night" bathroom trip (which was actually middle of most people's mornings - oh well).
Then one of the contractors was in the house to do some more work in the downstairs bathroom. No, it's still not done. Yes, it's the place where our washer and dryer live, so we're still without those. Which means, yes, this is important work and he has been very considerate in not coming over until after 10:30 AM because of my work schedule.
So I had to get more sleep. Which wasn't easy with a contractor downstairs, hammering, sawing, drilling, and so on. And a cat who was thrilled to have one of us still in bed so he could have a body to nap on; after a few turns around and readjustments. I did get the amount of sleep I needed but it was spread out. And it meant I got up very late.
I did move the story forward a bit.
I did get to work on time.
I did get in a walk.
I did make progress on organizing some samples for next week's workshop.
So I guess it was a good day despite the late start. Though not much progress on the NaNoNovel Which Needs a New Name.
*
I wrote about 400 words on my NaNoNovel today. Again, that's okay. I stayed up pretty late doing something which turned out to not be necessary, I found out several hours later when I made my "middle of the night" bathroom trip (which was actually middle of most people's mornings - oh well).
Then one of the contractors was in the house to do some more work in the downstairs bathroom. No, it's still not done. Yes, it's the place where our washer and dryer live, so we're still without those. Which means, yes, this is important work and he has been very considerate in not coming over until after 10:30 AM because of my work schedule.
So I had to get more sleep. Which wasn't easy with a contractor downstairs, hammering, sawing, drilling, and so on. And a cat who was thrilled to have one of us still in bed so he could have a body to nap on; after a few turns around and readjustments. I did get the amount of sleep I needed but it was spread out. And it meant I got up very late.
I did move the story forward a bit.
I did get to work on time.
I did get in a walk.
I did make progress on organizing some samples for next week's workshop.
So I guess it was a good day despite the late start. Though not much progress on the NaNoNovel Which Needs a New Name.
*
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Returning and Reflexion
I'm home now. The drive was smooth - partly because I expected the rush hour traffic I met since I left about 4:30pm, partly because I had an iced soy latte beside me, and partly because I'd just had several days of completely unscheduled time. Alone - well, not really alone, I was sitting three feline friends. But the three cats and I got along immediately and fell into a nice sleep, wake, eat, rest, brush, play, eat rhythm. The porch had beautifully arranged potted plants - cactus and grassy greens and flowering bunches - and chairs for sitting, watching the cottonwood snow, brushing the cats.
So hitting rush hour Seattle traffic was expected and it didn't phase me. Honestly, it wasn't any worse than what I hit at least a couple times a week on the outbound Sunset (I've temporarily forgotten the new name - but Highway 26 westbound, whatever name you call it). Except the Sunset is only 4 lanes at its widest point and Seattle's I-5 South is 7. But the backup and resulting 10-20 mph is the same.
So the just over three-hour drive was over four hours. With a brief stop for gas when the "low" light came on (I thought I could make it back to Portland for a fill-up and a car wash simultaneously - but, no) and a 20 minute stop for a quick authentic chicken enchilada plate at a Mexican cafe.
A lot of time to think. Reflect on the time and what I did and didn't accomplish. And realize that whatever I did or didn't do was just what I needed to do right now.
I did write. But not as much as I thought I would. And "as much as I thought I would" was just a little bit unrealistic (insert sarcastic up lilt in my voice). I did get last week's assignment done and this week's quick write and I've read some of the other writers' stories to prepare for giving feedback. And this week's assignment is knocking around in my head, though nothing on the page yet.
I did read. I really got into "I'm Looking Through You - Growing up Haunted: A Memoir," although I had to stop two nights and put it off until daylight, as I was afraid it might give me bad dreams. It's a memoir and it's not scary, per se; definitley on horror genre or anything like that. But those two nights the ghost and divining was a little too intense for my brain at bedtime. I read a lot of the book. I didn't crack the Stephen King which I got waylaid on a couple of weeks ago and haven't gotten back into it yet. Not because it isn't good - I really enjoy it, really. But it needs longer periods of time than I've had and I was into "...Haunted." My thoughts that I would finish both books in what amounted to 3 full days and 2 partial days was unrealistic.
And I rested. No alarms. No appointments. No place I had to be except there and to feed, water, and scoop poop for the cats, water the plants. That was what I needed most and that was what I got most - down time.
On the drive home and now as I get ready for bed, I feel more creative. I feel there is space for contemplating my writing and editing and space to move in my words and to arrange them into stories.
Time. Rest. I think these are a couple of my most important writer tools.
.
So hitting rush hour Seattle traffic was expected and it didn't phase me. Honestly, it wasn't any worse than what I hit at least a couple times a week on the outbound Sunset (I've temporarily forgotten the new name - but Highway 26 westbound, whatever name you call it). Except the Sunset is only 4 lanes at its widest point and Seattle's I-5 South is 7. But the backup and resulting 10-20 mph is the same.
So the just over three-hour drive was over four hours. With a brief stop for gas when the "low" light came on (I thought I could make it back to Portland for a fill-up and a car wash simultaneously - but, no) and a 20 minute stop for a quick authentic chicken enchilada plate at a Mexican cafe.
A lot of time to think. Reflect on the time and what I did and didn't accomplish. And realize that whatever I did or didn't do was just what I needed to do right now.
I did write. But not as much as I thought I would. And "as much as I thought I would" was just a little bit unrealistic (insert sarcastic up lilt in my voice). I did get last week's assignment done and this week's quick write and I've read some of the other writers' stories to prepare for giving feedback. And this week's assignment is knocking around in my head, though nothing on the page yet.
I did read. I really got into "I'm Looking Through You - Growing up Haunted: A Memoir," although I had to stop two nights and put it off until daylight, as I was afraid it might give me bad dreams. It's a memoir and it's not scary, per se; definitley on horror genre or anything like that. But those two nights the ghost and divining was a little too intense for my brain at bedtime. I read a lot of the book. I didn't crack the Stephen King which I got waylaid on a couple of weeks ago and haven't gotten back into it yet. Not because it isn't good - I really enjoy it, really. But it needs longer periods of time than I've had and I was into "...Haunted." My thoughts that I would finish both books in what amounted to 3 full days and 2 partial days was unrealistic.
And I rested. No alarms. No appointments. No place I had to be except there and to feed, water, and scoop poop for the cats, water the plants. That was what I needed most and that was what I got most - down time.
On the drive home and now as I get ready for bed, I feel more creative. I feel there is space for contemplating my writing and editing and space to move in my words and to arrange them into stories.
Time. Rest. I think these are a couple of my most important writer tools.
.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Time Lifts the Veil
I haven't finished my writing assignment for this week, yet. But I know I will. And I have all day tomorrow to do it.
I've had three days off work; three days in a row. And three to go.
Today I slept until my charges woke me up, demanding to be fed. Which I did. Then we all went back to sleep.
I woke up a couple hours later and was hungry myself. So I got up, had oatmeal with flax, half a banana, some blueberries. Read. Read in bed with the furry kids and went back to sleep.
We all went back to sleep. Cat time - nap during the day. It was lovely. Woke up a couple or so hours later with the cats still fast asleep. I got up and showered.
I went to my favorite sushi restaurant and ate my favorite sushi food: Spinach Gomae. Afterwards I went for an hour walk, with a turnaround stop for an iced Matcha Soy Latte.
Today I feel creative. I feel the writing flow returned. And while I haven't finished the story, I know I will. And I know I will write more and the words haven't abandoned me. And I haven't abandoned them.
The foggy veil which made writing seem near impossible is gone. Like making space for this trip to be possible, I have to remember to make time for writing to happen.
Space and time equals creativity.
.
I've had three days off work; three days in a row. And three to go.
Today I slept until my charges woke me up, demanding to be fed. Which I did. Then we all went back to sleep.
I woke up a couple hours later and was hungry myself. So I got up, had oatmeal with flax, half a banana, some blueberries. Read. Read in bed with the furry kids and went back to sleep.
We all went back to sleep. Cat time - nap during the day. It was lovely. Woke up a couple or so hours later with the cats still fast asleep. I got up and showered.
I went to my favorite sushi restaurant and ate my favorite sushi food: Spinach Gomae. Afterwards I went for an hour walk, with a turnaround stop for an iced Matcha Soy Latte.
Today I feel creative. I feel the writing flow returned. And while I haven't finished the story, I know I will. And I know I will write more and the words haven't abandoned me. And I haven't abandoned them.
The foggy veil which made writing seem near impossible is gone. Like making space for this trip to be possible, I have to remember to make time for writing to happen.
Space and time equals creativity.
.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Winding Down Another Season
Next week I'm interpreting "Black Pearl. Sings" at Portland Center. Stage. The team interpreter I'm working with is Pamela Cancel and this is our first show together. It has been a great experience and I've enjoyed doing this show with her. Our styles are very compatible and I feel confident our interpretation will go well. Feedback tonight from our Deaf Sign Coach went well and is much appreciated.
Portland Center Stage has one more show this season, "Ain't Nothing But the Blues," in June (which will be interpreted by Pamela and Edwin Cancel on June 21st). But for me, this is my last show of the 2011-12 season.
I may do a concert or two in the summer; but I don't do much theater. I do a lot of theater planning and may also do some theater writing (shhh, that's a secret as of right now). But not much theatrical interpreting.
And the college school year comes to a close. I haven't been teaching this term, anyway, but it's another marker.
And I'm trying to get a better handle on my schedule. I'm starting with a short vacation at the end of this month. Probably a starvation with, perhaps, a couple of day trips; maybe one overnights. A kind of resetting of my biological clock. Time enough off to really feel it and break the cycle of going. I started that process with my trip to the coast last month, but to do it right requires a few more days than I had. So the very beginning of June that will happen.
And writing. The timing is working out to coincide with another round of Wayward Writers in the Literary Kitchen. The next session starts May 19th, two days after Black Pearl Sings. Perfect.
Someone asked me today if I had any big summer plans. No, I answered. Except learning to relax better and just be. Relearn how to not do. Then write. And walk/swim/bike.
Portland Center Stage has one more show this season, "Ain't Nothing But the Blues," in June (which will be interpreted by Pamela and Edwin Cancel on June 21st). But for me, this is my last show of the 2011-12 season.
I may do a concert or two in the summer; but I don't do much theater. I do a lot of theater planning and may also do some theater writing (shhh, that's a secret as of right now). But not much theatrical interpreting.
And the college school year comes to a close. I haven't been teaching this term, anyway, but it's another marker.
And I'm trying to get a better handle on my schedule. I'm starting with a short vacation at the end of this month. Probably a starvation with, perhaps, a couple of day trips; maybe one overnights. A kind of resetting of my biological clock. Time enough off to really feel it and break the cycle of going. I started that process with my trip to the coast last month, but to do it right requires a few more days than I had. So the very beginning of June that will happen.
And writing. The timing is working out to coincide with another round of Wayward Writers in the Literary Kitchen. The next session starts May 19th, two days after Black Pearl Sings. Perfect.
Someone asked me today if I had any big summer plans. No, I answered. Except learning to relax better and just be. Relearn how to not do. Then write. And walk/swim/bike.
Monday, April 30, 2012
A Test of Wills or a Test of Faith
If this is a test, I'd like it to be done.
There are a few conflicting things happening in my life right now and I was getting a handle on things, having faith that things would work out for the best. Really, I was holding on to the belief that all would be okay.
I made out a scheduling/life template and believed in it; I just wrote it out the middle of last week. Then I found out some information which has the potential to disrupt everything. It's a row of dominoes. I was thinking maybe a house of cards, but the dominoes are stronger and can withstand more - so I'll go with the dominoes image. If X happens at VRS, then that has the potential to reduce $ by a significant amount. In order to improve the $ picture, I have to add more Y to the schedule. But if X is reduced and Y increased, it has to be exponentially increased because of some other losses which are attached to X. And if X and Y happen, then my template won't work. And if I try to stick to the template, then $ will definitely be decreased and some of the things on the template will be impossible.
Really. I'm not making this up.
Writing is on my template. More than I've been doing: dedicated, specified time to write and revise and submit.
Sleep is on my template. Enough sleep is an option with parameters. A couple of times when I've slipped below the minimum, I've known, my body has let me know that I can't do that any more. So sleep really is non-negotiable. No more 4- to 5-hour sleep nights.
Work is on my template. Yes, indeed.
And time off. Including trying to get two days off together in every week. Well, let's say most weeks. Which includes trying to get one day off each week where I don't have appointments to go to; not just time off from work. Time with friends and partner and time for fun. And activity: walking, swimming, hiking, kayaking.
This new news isn't good news. Not terrible; I'm not losing my job. But it's a really bad time and it's not just me saying "oh this is awful and I need to add more hours." It's real. And if the information turns out to be true, I should know within a week and I will have to give up: some time off, or blocks of dedicated writing time, or time with my partner, play time. I can't cut down the sleep or health care.
I had a plan. A good plan; reasonable. Reasonable for everyone and not just me.
And I think about people who wonder why workers lose faith and commitment to the giant corporations for which they work. This is one. There is no reciprocity and I keep thinking that I know that, but I keep getting taken by surprise. I keep thinking that being really good at what I do, going along with the numbers and the changing rules, being honest and dedicated to what I'm doing will matter; not in a kiss-up, brown-nosing kind of way but in a commitment to doing this job well. And maybe it does matter to the clients - I hope. But I keep feeling like I am just a number at work and a number which can be replaced.
I think about being flexible. I am flexible; I like some variety. Yes. But a good friend once said, "I'm flexible until I snap." I think of it like a plastic debit/credit card, or a piece of wire: you can bend it and bend it and bend it back again until one day it snaps; no more flexibility. I'm getting frustrated with the bending and won't snap - but I may lose some flexibility.
I want to hold on to the serenity I've found and believe in the good in people (and there are people behind the giant corporation walls, right?) and to hold on to hope that things can be okay without doing what isn't healthy for me.
Right?
So I'll just keep writing. Not just about this, I promise. But if I keep writing then it keeps moving through.
And I can retain my resiliency.
And if this rumor/threat comes into being, it may push me back up on that ledge where possibilities live and the corporation goes back to being the safety net and not a false sense of security.
Writing. Where life happens. Where the Chi flows and stagnancy is prevented.
And, for fun, a video as a reminder to myself and to others who may be living/working under similar circumstances. Enjoy!
There are a few conflicting things happening in my life right now and I was getting a handle on things, having faith that things would work out for the best. Really, I was holding on to the belief that all would be okay.
I made out a scheduling/life template and believed in it; I just wrote it out the middle of last week. Then I found out some information which has the potential to disrupt everything. It's a row of dominoes. I was thinking maybe a house of cards, but the dominoes are stronger and can withstand more - so I'll go with the dominoes image. If X happens at VRS, then that has the potential to reduce $ by a significant amount. In order to improve the $ picture, I have to add more Y to the schedule. But if X is reduced and Y increased, it has to be exponentially increased because of some other losses which are attached to X. And if X and Y happen, then my template won't work. And if I try to stick to the template, then $ will definitely be decreased and some of the things on the template will be impossible.
Really. I'm not making this up.
Writing is on my template. More than I've been doing: dedicated, specified time to write and revise and submit.
Sleep is on my template. Enough sleep is an option with parameters. A couple of times when I've slipped below the minimum, I've known, my body has let me know that I can't do that any more. So sleep really is non-negotiable. No more 4- to 5-hour sleep nights.
Work is on my template. Yes, indeed.
And time off. Including trying to get two days off together in every week. Well, let's say most weeks. Which includes trying to get one day off each week where I don't have appointments to go to; not just time off from work. Time with friends and partner and time for fun. And activity: walking, swimming, hiking, kayaking.
This new news isn't good news. Not terrible; I'm not losing my job. But it's a really bad time and it's not just me saying "oh this is awful and I need to add more hours." It's real. And if the information turns out to be true, I should know within a week and I will have to give up: some time off, or blocks of dedicated writing time, or time with my partner, play time. I can't cut down the sleep or health care.
I had a plan. A good plan; reasonable. Reasonable for everyone and not just me.
And I think about people who wonder why workers lose faith and commitment to the giant corporations for which they work. This is one. There is no reciprocity and I keep thinking that I know that, but I keep getting taken by surprise. I keep thinking that being really good at what I do, going along with the numbers and the changing rules, being honest and dedicated to what I'm doing will matter; not in a kiss-up, brown-nosing kind of way but in a commitment to doing this job well. And maybe it does matter to the clients - I hope. But I keep feeling like I am just a number at work and a number which can be replaced.
I think about being flexible. I am flexible; I like some variety. Yes. But a good friend once said, "I'm flexible until I snap." I think of it like a plastic debit/credit card, or a piece of wire: you can bend it and bend it and bend it back again until one day it snaps; no more flexibility. I'm getting frustrated with the bending and won't snap - but I may lose some flexibility.
I want to hold on to the serenity I've found and believe in the good in people (and there are people behind the giant corporation walls, right?) and to hold on to hope that things can be okay without doing what isn't healthy for me.
Right?
So I'll just keep writing. Not just about this, I promise. But if I keep writing then it keeps moving through.
And I can retain my resiliency.
And if this rumor/threat comes into being, it may push me back up on that ledge where possibilities live and the corporation goes back to being the safety net and not a false sense of security.
Writing. Where life happens. Where the Chi flows and stagnancy is prevented.
And, for fun, a video as a reminder to myself and to others who may be living/working under similar circumstances. Enjoy!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Rejuvenation
.
Yes. I needed to be at the coast. I need to be at the coast more often.
Last week someone asked me how often I needed to be at the coast. My answer was that I didn't know, but plan to find out.
It was relaxing. Restorative. I slept and read and went online and walked, walked more, walked more at one time than I've been able to do for a while for one reason or another. And slept and sat and watched the water.
I came home last night ready to face the week. Ready to face another round of appointments and jump back into writing and asking for help instead of digging out my Wonder Woman cape again.
There are a lot of pictures I uploaded to Facebook. This is just one. One of my favorites. It was nearing sunset on the second night and it shows the Twin Rocks well, the sky, the water. It's mystical and magical. And it makes me happy to look at it.
More to come.
Today I ordered "The Mindful Writer: Noble Truths of the Writing Life," by Dinty Moore. I ran across it in a magazine I bought while I was at the coast and it looked perfect for right now. I'm looking forward to getting it.
I also ordered a Feng Shui "Good Health" jade charm thingy.
Writing and health and possibility.
I will be back at the coast with my partner in mid-May. And I may also have a day trip with a friend to the coast in May.
I think I've been missing the beach.
.
Yes. I needed to be at the coast. I need to be at the coast more often.
Last week someone asked me how often I needed to be at the coast. My answer was that I didn't know, but plan to find out.
It was relaxing. Restorative. I slept and read and went online and walked, walked more, walked more at one time than I've been able to do for a while for one reason or another. And slept and sat and watched the water.
I came home last night ready to face the week. Ready to face another round of appointments and jump back into writing and asking for help instead of digging out my Wonder Woman cape again.
There are a lot of pictures I uploaded to Facebook. This is just one. One of my favorites. It was nearing sunset on the second night and it shows the Twin Rocks well, the sky, the water. It's mystical and magical. And it makes me happy to look at it.
More to come.
Today I ordered "The Mindful Writer: Noble Truths of the Writing Life," by Dinty Moore. I ran across it in a magazine I bought while I was at the coast and it looked perfect for right now. I'm looking forward to getting it.
I also ordered a Feng Shui "Good Health" jade charm thingy.
Writing and health and possibility.
I will be back at the coast with my partner in mid-May. And I may also have a day trip with a friend to the coast in May.
I think I've been missing the beach.
.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Re-charge Just Ahead
 |
| Tolovana Beach 4/14/12 by Dot |
Last Saturday I dragged myself to the beach. I know: poor me. Right? But I almost didn't go. I had a list of excuses why I shouldn't go and the cost of gas was only one. I dismissed each excuse as it came up and took myself by my lapels and forced myself into the car and headed to the sand and water and, surprisingly, very little wind.
It was perfect. I needed to be there. I needed the walk on the beach. I didn't really need to few blisters on my feet - but they will heal; they're small. And they appeared after walking an hour on the sunny beach and wading in the water; no problem.
The air was clean. The ocean and the seagulls masked other sounds. The sun was not too bright, the wind was just enough to keep everything fresh, and the water in the air and around my feet refreshing.
And on Friday, I get to do it again. Except this time I will be staying for a couple of days. Just me. At the beach. In a little part of a house I'm renting which has a full frontal ocean view with nothing but dune grass and sand between me and the water. And a fire pit I think.
Me and the second half of Stephen King's "11/22/63", my laptop, a bottle of wine, some good food from New Seasons and/or Trader Joe's. I'll sleep and write and read and sleep some more. And sleep. Lots of sleep. If I get more nice weather, I'll walk on the beach. "Nice weather" doesn't mean a total lack of moisture in the air - it just means not heavy winds or rain. Drizzles and breezes are allowed; I'll have my rain coat and a couple of changes of clothes.
Recharge. That's what I'll do. It's been a bumpy couple of weeks and tomorrow night I'm interpreting the world premiere of a stage adaptation of "Anna Karenina." One of my characters is Anna. Three days and two nights at the beach.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Down Time Approacheth ... in theory, anyway
No, it's true. The coming two weeks are much slower in terms of work. A break long in the coming and so needed.
I was talking about this concept of "break" with an interpreting friend recently. We decided after some discussion that sign language interpreters have a different vocabularly when it comes to ideas like "down time" or having a "break" or even, in my friend's case, "semi-retirement."
I think the definition for writers is similar.
Which is to say that having a break means you have a day or two where you don't have to get up with an alarm and rush to get ready to be somewhere or turn a piece in at a specific time. I was going to say "early" in terms of getting up or being at work or turning in a project. But that is subjective. For me, 9 AM is early; for two of my good friends, 9 AM is lunch break time or sleeping in. So the exact time doesn't matter. I think the time doesn't matter - it's being able to sleep until your body says "satisfied!" and you wake up and feel rested and restored.
It also may mean that a "day off" is 'only' interpreting a play. Or having a story due at midnight and you're half done so you can, say, for example, check Facebook and write a blog post.
*wink*
It may also mean, as an interpreter and a writer that a break in either area is filled by the other. So it's a break-no-break. Or maybe a break-from-the-dominant-norm. That's it. I think.
So. For me. Right now. Here is my "break" definition:
* I'm not teaching for 3 weeks.
..... I posted students' grades last night; no more grading for 3 weeks
..... I've contacted potential internship sites this week. Will resume placement work January 2nd.
* I'm only working 3 days each of the next 2 weeks, with 4 days off.
* Writing? No break! Hurray. I signed up for Ariel's Winter Writing Intensive: 12 new stories in 14 days, and giving feedback.
So, like I mentioned ... a "break" in interpreting work is being taken over by writing. As it should be. And those four days a week off, I can be writing at home in my pajamas until 8 PM if I want, or bundle up in layers to walk in the cold December sun to the local coffee shop with my laptop (or notebook and pen if I really want to rebel). Or I can sleep. Wake up. Go for a swim or a walk. And write at my leisure - as long as I get the assignment and feedback done within the day.
This is a good break. My mind and my body are happy with this decision. Writing because I want to. Writing more because I can.
In that week before the next term starts, I will have to add back in my teaching duties. And the Intensive will be over but there will be a Wayward Writers assignment. And when the Wayward assignment is done, I will be starting a writing journey with Inga Muscio and her process of "decerebralization" for writing. Awesome.
Some people have smiled when I've talked about my winter "break." Some nod knowingly.
What I know in this moment is that I feel happy. And I have a rough draft of today's Intensive writing done - except it's not the assignment! It's the background story to the story I was planning to write and it's already 15 words over the limit.
Oh! I know - I will use this background story toward this week's Wayward Writers assignment and pull pieces of it as memory blips when I get to the actual Intensive story. Yes. That's it. It really does fit for both assignments - the backstory I've written, with additional information, is about the regular assignment prompt; and I guess I needed to get this out to find my way to the Intensive story I wanted to write.
I love the creative process. And I love it so much more when I have the mental and emotional space to explore and let it develop.
Breathing. Right now I'm grateful for time and space and breath.
.
I was talking about this concept of "break" with an interpreting friend recently. We decided after some discussion that sign language interpreters have a different vocabularly when it comes to ideas like "down time" or having a "break" or even, in my friend's case, "semi-retirement."
I think the definition for writers is similar.
Which is to say that having a break means you have a day or two where you don't have to get up with an alarm and rush to get ready to be somewhere or turn a piece in at a specific time. I was going to say "early" in terms of getting up or being at work or turning in a project. But that is subjective. For me, 9 AM is early; for two of my good friends, 9 AM is lunch break time or sleeping in. So the exact time doesn't matter. I think the time doesn't matter - it's being able to sleep until your body says "satisfied!" and you wake up and feel rested and restored.
It also may mean that a "day off" is 'only' interpreting a play. Or having a story due at midnight and you're half done so you can, say, for example, check Facebook and write a blog post.
*wink*
It may also mean, as an interpreter and a writer that a break in either area is filled by the other. So it's a break-no-break. Or maybe a break-from-the-dominant-norm. That's it. I think.
So. For me. Right now. Here is my "break" definition:
* I'm not teaching for 3 weeks.
..... I posted students' grades last night; no more grading for 3 weeks
..... I've contacted potential internship sites this week. Will resume placement work January 2nd.
* I'm only working 3 days each of the next 2 weeks, with 4 days off.
* Writing? No break! Hurray. I signed up for Ariel's Winter Writing Intensive: 12 new stories in 14 days, and giving feedback.
So, like I mentioned ... a "break" in interpreting work is being taken over by writing. As it should be. And those four days a week off, I can be writing at home in my pajamas until 8 PM if I want, or bundle up in layers to walk in the cold December sun to the local coffee shop with my laptop (or notebook and pen if I really want to rebel). Or I can sleep. Wake up. Go for a swim or a walk. And write at my leisure - as long as I get the assignment and feedback done within the day.
This is a good break. My mind and my body are happy with this decision. Writing because I want to. Writing more because I can.
In that week before the next term starts, I will have to add back in my teaching duties. And the Intensive will be over but there will be a Wayward Writers assignment. And when the Wayward assignment is done, I will be starting a writing journey with Inga Muscio and her process of "decerebralization" for writing. Awesome.
Some people have smiled when I've talked about my winter "break." Some nod knowingly.
What I know in this moment is that I feel happy. And I have a rough draft of today's Intensive writing done - except it's not the assignment! It's the background story to the story I was planning to write and it's already 15 words over the limit.
Oh! I know - I will use this background story toward this week's Wayward Writers assignment and pull pieces of it as memory blips when I get to the actual Intensive story. Yes. That's it. It really does fit for both assignments - the backstory I've written, with additional information, is about the regular assignment prompt; and I guess I needed to get this out to find my way to the Intensive story I wanted to write.
I love the creative process. And I love it so much more when I have the mental and emotional space to explore and let it develop.
Breathing. Right now I'm grateful for time and space and breath.
.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Spaciness may be an Incorrect Label
I was talking with my therapist and I was feeling kind of "spacey." My label for what I was experiencing. She asked if perhaps it was because my world is expanding - opening up - I'm seeing more possibilities.
No, she didn't pull those things out of the air. These are some of the topics we've been discussing in therapy - things I've been experiencing. An outgrowth of the daily gratitude practice I'm doing (it's still new - don't push me, folks, I don't have it down yet; but I'm getting there). And a benefit of my medical wake up call in October. And more sleep. I can't discount the benefits of enough sleep.
My therapist was right. As I checked in with myself I realized that there are some gaps in the fences I've built - mostly to protect myself or to, in my opinion, keep my life from getting out of control. Boundaries. Except the boundaries were serving the purpose of reining me in and not necessarily to keep out the people or things which could be harmful or bring about negative consequences.
Skillful means. That's another way to say it. I have very skillful means and have survived and done well. Not perfect by any means and that's ok - the goal isn't perfection. But one issue is that some of my skillful means are a little outdated. So I'm working on that.
I'm expanding my world of possibilities. More room to breathe. Yes, you can already see the connection if you've been following any of my posts since early October. Breathing space. Yes.
Included in that breathing space is me, sleep, writing, interpreting, theater, teaching/mentoring, and general creativity. And the one thing I still don't have enough of and am finding out what suits me best - just plain ol' down time. Time to rejuvenate. To percolate. To let the world swirl around me and see what presents itself. Hanging out time can be creative or at least inspirational. I want more of that; need more of that.
So - looking outward, looking ahead. Opening up. And breathing.
Writing my way into spacious creativity and expansive possibilities. And continuing my practice of daily gratitude.
.
No, she didn't pull those things out of the air. These are some of the topics we've been discussing in therapy - things I've been experiencing. An outgrowth of the daily gratitude practice I'm doing (it's still new - don't push me, folks, I don't have it down yet; but I'm getting there). And a benefit of my medical wake up call in October. And more sleep. I can't discount the benefits of enough sleep.
My therapist was right. As I checked in with myself I realized that there are some gaps in the fences I've built - mostly to protect myself or to, in my opinion, keep my life from getting out of control. Boundaries. Except the boundaries were serving the purpose of reining me in and not necessarily to keep out the people or things which could be harmful or bring about negative consequences.
Skillful means. That's another way to say it. I have very skillful means and have survived and done well. Not perfect by any means and that's ok - the goal isn't perfection. But one issue is that some of my skillful means are a little outdated. So I'm working on that.
I'm expanding my world of possibilities. More room to breathe. Yes, you can already see the connection if you've been following any of my posts since early October. Breathing space. Yes.
Included in that breathing space is me, sleep, writing, interpreting, theater, teaching/mentoring, and general creativity. And the one thing I still don't have enough of and am finding out what suits me best - just plain ol' down time. Time to rejuvenate. To percolate. To let the world swirl around me and see what presents itself. Hanging out time can be creative or at least inspirational. I want more of that; need more of that.
So - looking outward, looking ahead. Opening up. And breathing.
Writing my way into spacious creativity and expansive possibilities. And continuing my practice of daily gratitude.
.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Being Handed Some Time
I do not recommend this method of being handed some time: develop a serious health condition, go to the Emergency Room, be hospitalized and taken off work for a week, and have to cancel friends and personal appointments. Confined to minimal activity; no driving for a couple of days. Check-ins for health monitoring.
No - I do not recommend this course of action to see what you can do with more time.
But, it's what happened.
No worries - except for this specific health condition, I am very healthy! Healthy heart, lungs, blood pressure, oxygen level, blood sugar, etc. I just have this condition. And it's being treated.
And I was given the warning that I have to listen to my body and not over-exert myself. Doing that forces my heart to work too hard and that can cause damage. So, I do little bits. I listen. I rest. I do a little more. I rest. I rest and breathe a lot. I don't overdo. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do "don't overdo" well; but I don't really have a choice right now.
So - time on my hands. To sleep. To nap. To visit with a friend who came a-calling on Sunday - we had a nice chat for a couple hours or so. To talk with a friend on the phone today for a while - something we rarely do or only in very short Q&A schedule arranging/meeting up kinds of ways. To answer emails with more thought after thoroughly reading them in the first place *wink.* To finish up watching the train wreck known as LOST which became ludicrous but I had to see how they ended the mess. To discover a whole new season of "Lie To Me" on streaming Netflix, interspersed with short silly episodes of "30 Rock." To write. And write some more. To complete my assignment for Ariel's Literary Kitchen yesterday. Then today to be able to complete my feedback in a timely manner instead of on the day before the next assignment is due.
Time.
Sleep and napping.
Eating thoughtfully and well and unhurried.
Reading. Writing.
At rest.
I need to do this before there's a crisis next time.
It's kind of amazing how much I've been able to do in terms of catching up on my writing with having mandated down time. And no worries, I haven't sacrificed naps to write - I have nothing but time to do it in right now.
.
No - I do not recommend this course of action to see what you can do with more time.
But, it's what happened.
No worries - except for this specific health condition, I am very healthy! Healthy heart, lungs, blood pressure, oxygen level, blood sugar, etc. I just have this condition. And it's being treated.
And I was given the warning that I have to listen to my body and not over-exert myself. Doing that forces my heart to work too hard and that can cause damage. So, I do little bits. I listen. I rest. I do a little more. I rest. I rest and breathe a lot. I don't overdo. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do "don't overdo" well; but I don't really have a choice right now.
So - time on my hands. To sleep. To nap. To visit with a friend who came a-calling on Sunday - we had a nice chat for a couple hours or so. To talk with a friend on the phone today for a while - something we rarely do or only in very short Q&A schedule arranging/meeting up kinds of ways. To answer emails with more thought after thoroughly reading them in the first place *wink.* To finish up watching the train wreck known as LOST which became ludicrous but I had to see how they ended the mess. To discover a whole new season of "Lie To Me" on streaming Netflix, interspersed with short silly episodes of "30 Rock." To write. And write some more. To complete my assignment for Ariel's Literary Kitchen yesterday. Then today to be able to complete my feedback in a timely manner instead of on the day before the next assignment is due.
Time.
Sleep and napping.
Eating thoughtfully and well and unhurried.
Reading. Writing.
At rest.
I need to do this before there's a crisis next time.
It's kind of amazing how much I've been able to do in terms of catching up on my writing with having mandated down time. And no worries, I haven't sacrificed naps to write - I have nothing but time to do it in right now.
.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Homeostasis
Tomorrow it will have been a week since my last post. Not a terrible thing, for sure. But not good, when I'd just made the commitment to myself to do daily posts for a while to get myself back on track - or a minimum of three times a week.
And tomorrow it will be a week since the last one.
I'm trying to be okay with that. Today, on the first day of my work break - which isn't totally a break yet, since I have one class whose grades I still need to turn in and I'm waiting on information to be able to make the final computations.
It's 1:30 pm and I'm still in my pajamas. Not because I slept many hours, but because I stayed up until 6:00 am to get the grades done; as done as I can in the case of one class.
And I printed out the story I'm trying to get completed so I can submit it before the Sunday due date. I'm only 1,000 words over the limit right now.
So here's my post for today. With a hope that the stalled feeling of "what's next" is at an end and I can make more forward movement.
.
And tomorrow it will be a week since the last one.
I'm trying to be okay with that. Today, on the first day of my work break - which isn't totally a break yet, since I have one class whose grades I still need to turn in and I'm waiting on information to be able to make the final computations.
It's 1:30 pm and I'm still in my pajamas. Not because I slept many hours, but because I stayed up until 6:00 am to get the grades done; as done as I can in the case of one class.
And I printed out the story I'm trying to get completed so I can submit it before the Sunday due date. I'm only 1,000 words over the limit right now.
So here's my post for today. With a hope that the stalled feeling of "what's next" is at an end and I can make more forward movement.
.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Full Moon, Full Lunar Eclipse
Oh, I bet this is beautiful. I am using my imagination because it is pouring down rain. An hour ago we had a clearing and I hoped that I would be able to see at least part of this event.
But it's not to be.
All for the best, I suppose, since I should go to sleep.
I will use my imagination and tomorrow I will use my laptop or my partner's computer to search for pictures. There will be some online, I'm sure.
Happy viewing to those in areas not clouded over, those not being drenched in rain or in the quiet whiteness of snow. For me, maybe next time.
All is well.
The solstice is soon. And the season will change as the moon returns and as I sleep.
For now I will take to bed with a cup of herbal tea and "Cutline" by Bonnie Hearn Hill. This is an excellent book that I had to set aside for NaNoWriMo, then for the play, then for the end of the term grading. But now - I'm reading it every chance I get and it's a great read. I have the two other books in this series by my bed, waiting to be read.
Bed, tea, book.
Lovely.
.
But it's not to be.
All for the best, I suppose, since I should go to sleep.
I will use my imagination and tomorrow I will use my laptop or my partner's computer to search for pictures. There will be some online, I'm sure.
Happy viewing to those in areas not clouded over, those not being drenched in rain or in the quiet whiteness of snow. For me, maybe next time.
All is well.
The solstice is soon. And the season will change as the moon returns and as I sleep.
For now I will take to bed with a cup of herbal tea and "Cutline" by Bonnie Hearn Hill. This is an excellent book that I had to set aside for NaNoWriMo, then for the play, then for the end of the term grading. But now - I'm reading it every chance I get and it's a great read. I have the two other books in this series by my bed, waiting to be read.
Bed, tea, book.
Lovely.
.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Re-entry: a plethora of cliches or The Lesson
It a somewhat typical Dot-style, the leaving of NaNoLand and re-entry into the Rest Of My Life was not the smoothest transition. This is something I'm "working on," as the saying goes. And it's true - it's just that "working on" is somewhat vague and could imply some resistance to change. Which isn't true.
What is true is that from the time I realize something to when I can implement the change is sometimes longer than I would like. For example, if I realize that the schedule I have planned out for the next two-plus months has a major flaw - such as only being able to get a maximum of four hours of sleep twice a week - I can make some changes toward the goal of increasing my sleep on a regular basis, but, because of where I work, it's not an overnight change.
What is also true is that some of the slowness to change is because of my own work ethic. Another phrase that is overused and misused. But it fits. Yes, I could give back some of the work I have scheduled. Yes. Some people would. But that is not good in my opinion. I took the jobs or the shifts and I could have said no at the time. But I thought it would work or that I had figured out how to make it work.
So I kept them. It was the right thing to do. And as soon as I found out that it wasn't working, I made a change at the next possible time according to my ethics.
Then there were those things that I couldn't change because, well, I made a commitment that I didn't want to back out on - such as the play I'm interpreting this coming Thursday.
The transition from NaNovember to December was quick, without a breather. And that was a mistake. I've been chasing my tail since early Wednesday morning and set myself up for a set-back of sleep and inability to swim and general overload for a few days. This was not a good plan. But by the time I realized it, it was too late. And in just over a week this heavy schedule will be done and I will have a few days off of all work. Yay.
A good thing in this transition is that I have managed to keep a few writing dates. Only one last week. But I have two scheduled this week. And at least one long one later this month, with the hope of scheduling more time.
And this time, I think I actually learned the lesson and, while I can't make any major changes right now, I did make some in how I'm setting up my winter term schedule. I will be teaching two classes in the interpreting program, so that gives me an easy test period. As usual, I will have a couple months of the new schedule in place before I *get* to the schedule to see if it does work. But I have hope it will be successful.
My goal is to get my work hours more under control as far as eliminating - or at least reducing - what I've come to call the quick turnaround: where I end up with four or less hours of sleep by the time I get home from one job and have to get up to get to the next. (A note that these quick times mean going home and straight to bed and getting up those three or four hours later for a quick departure - no leisurely hours of unwinding or getting ready.) Ok - I want to eliminate them; but I know me and the reality is that once in a while it will happen because sometimes the doctor or the something I have to do has no other time - not everyone runs on my late night schedule.
In this new plan, in addition to putting sleep into my schedule, I have included time to exercise and I have a minimum of two writing meetups scheduled each week.
See - this is the thing. When I sat down to look at my schedule and look at my priorities, I realized that my writing - outside of NaNovember - was getting pushed to the back. Then my exercise was also getting shoved out of the way. And without those, I get cranky. And then I'm in the downward spiral headed to "The Hole." Lack of sleep, minimal writing, minimal exericise = make Dot a grumpy pumpkin. And, without making a conscious effort to clean up my schedule ...
So - I need to put these things in writing, in my schedule. And I have.
I need to get enough sleep. And I will. That is my current priority. If there is a choice between 7-8 hours of sleep or going for a swim, sleep wins. Because I've found that sleep does more to relieve aches and stiffness than ibuprofen. Exercise does more to lift my mood than a latte or a natural Uplift capsule or grousing about, so that's my second priority - but it doesn't have to be daily. And I've found that writing on a regular basis does "prime the pump" and the writing flows more easily and ideas start popping up like water on a hot oiled skillet. So, I will balance out the scheduled writing and the scheduled swimming/walking/dragon boat training.
So my new schedule has enough work hours allotted to meet my financial needs, things scheduled so that I can get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, and specific days and times for writing dates & editing and for working out.
I'm not fond of strict schedules. I like things to be changed up a bit. I like some flexibility for things that come up last minute, to go to things outside of the "norm" I've set up. And, hopefully, I've done that. Which is also why I'm making this change in conjunction with the term - there is a natural break, time to change, if it doesn't work or if I just need to do something a little different. But maybe, with the writing and what I experienced again during NaNovember, the benefits of a semi-regular schedule will be worth it.
We'll see.
So that is why I took a few days off the blog - to recoup? No, that would have been predictable. It was to jump back into my crazy schedule because I'd forgotten the lessons from last year.
I'm back.
And
What is true is that from the time I realize something to when I can implement the change is sometimes longer than I would like. For example, if I realize that the schedule I have planned out for the next two-plus months has a major flaw - such as only being able to get a maximum of four hours of sleep twice a week - I can make some changes toward the goal of increasing my sleep on a regular basis, but, because of where I work, it's not an overnight change.
What is also true is that some of the slowness to change is because of my own work ethic. Another phrase that is overused and misused. But it fits. Yes, I could give back some of the work I have scheduled. Yes. Some people would. But that is not good in my opinion. I took the jobs or the shifts and I could have said no at the time. But I thought it would work or that I had figured out how to make it work.
So I kept them. It was the right thing to do. And as soon as I found out that it wasn't working, I made a change at the next possible time according to my ethics.
Then there were those things that I couldn't change because, well, I made a commitment that I didn't want to back out on - such as the play I'm interpreting this coming Thursday.
The transition from NaNovember to December was quick, without a breather. And that was a mistake. I've been chasing my tail since early Wednesday morning and set myself up for a set-back of sleep and inability to swim and general overload for a few days. This was not a good plan. But by the time I realized it, it was too late. And in just over a week this heavy schedule will be done and I will have a few days off of all work. Yay.
A good thing in this transition is that I have managed to keep a few writing dates. Only one last week. But I have two scheduled this week. And at least one long one later this month, with the hope of scheduling more time.
And this time, I think I actually learned the lesson and, while I can't make any major changes right now, I did make some in how I'm setting up my winter term schedule. I will be teaching two classes in the interpreting program, so that gives me an easy test period. As usual, I will have a couple months of the new schedule in place before I *get* to the schedule to see if it does work. But I have hope it will be successful.
My goal is to get my work hours more under control as far as eliminating - or at least reducing - what I've come to call the quick turnaround: where I end up with four or less hours of sleep by the time I get home from one job and have to get up to get to the next. (A note that these quick times mean going home and straight to bed and getting up those three or four hours later for a quick departure - no leisurely hours of unwinding or getting ready.) Ok - I want to eliminate them; but I know me and the reality is that once in a while it will happen because sometimes the doctor or the something I have to do has no other time - not everyone runs on my late night schedule.
In this new plan, in addition to putting sleep into my schedule, I have included time to exercise and I have a minimum of two writing meetups scheduled each week.
See - this is the thing. When I sat down to look at my schedule and look at my priorities, I realized that my writing - outside of NaNovember - was getting pushed to the back. Then my exercise was also getting shoved out of the way. And without those, I get cranky. And then I'm in the downward spiral headed to "The Hole." Lack of sleep, minimal writing, minimal exericise = make Dot a grumpy pumpkin. And, without making a conscious effort to clean up my schedule ...
I will never finish my memoir
I will never finish revision of my 2008 novel
I will never finish and revise my 2010 novel
I won't be able to do the half-marathon in May for which I'm registered
So - I need to put these things in writing, in my schedule. And I have.
I need to get enough sleep. And I will. That is my current priority. If there is a choice between 7-8 hours of sleep or going for a swim, sleep wins. Because I've found that sleep does more to relieve aches and stiffness than ibuprofen. Exercise does more to lift my mood than a latte or a natural Uplift capsule or grousing about, so that's my second priority - but it doesn't have to be daily. And I've found that writing on a regular basis does "prime the pump" and the writing flows more easily and ideas start popping up like water on a hot oiled skillet. So, I will balance out the scheduled writing and the scheduled swimming/walking/dragon boat training.
So my new schedule has enough work hours allotted to meet my financial needs, things scheduled so that I can get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, and specific days and times for writing dates & editing and for working out.
I'm not fond of strict schedules. I like things to be changed up a bit. I like some flexibility for things that come up last minute, to go to things outside of the "norm" I've set up. And, hopefully, I've done that. Which is also why I'm making this change in conjunction with the term - there is a natural break, time to change, if it doesn't work or if I just need to do something a little different. But maybe, with the writing and what I experienced again during NaNovember, the benefits of a semi-regular schedule will be worth it.
We'll see.
So that is why I took a few days off the blog - to recoup? No, that would have been predictable. It was to jump back into my crazy schedule because I'd forgotten the lessons from last year.
I'm back.
And
I will finish my memoir
I will finish revision of my 2008 novel
I will finish and revise my 2010 novel
I will do the half-marathon in May
.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
NaNoWriMo: day four
Today is looking like it will be the first day I fall behind on the daily average word count. And that's okay; I've been ahead so far, which means I'm only a little behind and tomorrow is a big writing day. Current count is 6,609.
I awoke early this morning - though not as early as I should have. Let me rephrase: I woke up with my first alarm, and my second alarm, and the third - with the first one still going off in the other room, just outside the bedroom door. The first alarm, a really obnoxious one on my phone that works really well as a wake-up sound, kept going. I checked the time and I had a few minutes to think about what to wear, what to pack as far as food for the day, then I had to get up and take my shower.
It was a long day ahead with only two relatively short drive and meal breaks between jobs.
Then my partner asked me if I heard my alarm going off.
"Yes," I answered. Then I looked at the clock. It was 30 minutes later than the last time I looked and my first alarm was still making it's HELLO IT'S MORNING sounds.
Luckily, I had plenty of time to shower and get to my first job - with fingers crossed there was still a parking spot.
I was lucky still and there was one spot left right where I needed it to be.
Writing time? Uh - oops. Well, I did have a little bit of time between a couple of parts of the first location. So I wrote a little bit by hand - only about 400 words. I was hoping for a second little sprint - but that didn't happen. The middle section of my work day went longer than anticipated and all of my "break" time was spent driving between job sites.
But, no worries. My few words from today are inserted and word count updated. And tomorrow I have lots of time to write. In between laundry and a trip to the grocery store and renailing the front gutter on the house before the next rain storm because we're starting to look like we have a waterfall in the front of the house.
Ah, NaNoWriMo.
Can you smell it in the air?
.
I awoke early this morning - though not as early as I should have. Let me rephrase: I woke up with my first alarm, and my second alarm, and the third - with the first one still going off in the other room, just outside the bedroom door. The first alarm, a really obnoxious one on my phone that works really well as a wake-up sound, kept going. I checked the time and I had a few minutes to think about what to wear, what to pack as far as food for the day, then I had to get up and take my shower.
It was a long day ahead with only two relatively short drive and meal breaks between jobs.
Then my partner asked me if I heard my alarm going off.
"Yes," I answered. Then I looked at the clock. It was 30 minutes later than the last time I looked and my first alarm was still making it's HELLO IT'S MORNING sounds.
Luckily, I had plenty of time to shower and get to my first job - with fingers crossed there was still a parking spot.
I was lucky still and there was one spot left right where I needed it to be.
Writing time? Uh - oops. Well, I did have a little bit of time between a couple of parts of the first location. So I wrote a little bit by hand - only about 400 words. I was hoping for a second little sprint - but that didn't happen. The middle section of my work day went longer than anticipated and all of my "break" time was spent driving between job sites.
But, no worries. My few words from today are inserted and word count updated. And tomorrow I have lots of time to write. In between laundry and a trip to the grocery store and renailing the front gutter on the house before the next rain storm because we're starting to look like we have a waterfall in the front of the house.
Ah, NaNoWriMo.
Can you smell it in the air?
.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Pause
But the big event itself has taken so much time this past ten days that I didn't get it done and so, there will be a short intermission as I head over to central Oregon tomorrow.
I have printed reams of paper (and I'm really not exaggerating: five sets of race guides, five full maps, volunteer packets, directions from Portland to the car rental pick-up to the campground to the start line and so on - then tonight even more: phone lists and car rental reservations and campground reservations). I have bought a heaping cart-load at Winco: mini-bagels, many packages of meats and cheeses, many pounds of bananas and clementines, five pounds of Red Vines and black licorice, and suckers, and raw almonds and five cases of water. And more.
I've spent many hours on the phone with insurance compaines and the rental car company and AAA and another supplemental insurance company.
And checked red flashing lights for operability, tested the new pesticide sprayers (thanks to a couple of running teams - we learned that these handy inexpensive garden tools make great cooling equipment for runners/walkers in the desert in summer), sorted the supplies into storage boxes for each van.
And put out little emotional or excitement or "what if" fires among the team.
And the day is here. Tomorrow I will somehow stuff all of the equipment and food that is taking up a chunk of my living room into my compact sedan. My partner will drive me to the meet-up spot, where I will offload everything - including the five cases of water in my trunk - into the RV, in which several of us are making the drive over to the Bend area to pick up the cars and go to our campsite.
Oh - did I say that we are camping this year? We have a nice little group campsite right on the edge of a little lake. Should be gorgeous. The RV is small and is for the inactive van's walkers to chill out (literally) if it's hot - but otherwise, we're sleeping in tents.
I'm excited. A little anxious - I didn't train as hard as I did last year for this. But I'm also in better general fitness shape than I was. So while I know I will be a little sore and I know my pace will (I want to say "probably" but I know the reality is it *will*) be slower than last year - I will still do it. And I will be okay. I've done some walking, focusing on the downhills since I am again doing the six miles down down down leg (six miles, 1,400 elevation loss). My IT bands will notice my reduced training - but I started taking Arnica on Sunday, along with Ibuprofen, and I saw my chiropractor today who gave me some kinesio tape with instructions. My recovery time from working out aches is really great (on indicator of improved fitness) and I have promised several people I won't overdo it and push myself beyond what is reasonable. So - I know I will be sore and I know I will be slower - but I also know I can do it. How great to be able to say, "three miles? that's easy!"
It's been a little hectic and I'm a little low on sleep.
So this week's Razor's Edge will wait. Or be skipped.
Or you can hop over to YouTube and search for "Cascade Lakes Relay" and pick a video as your inspiration. Pick a character from those on screen (or pick a whole team!) - and tell a story about who they are and how they got to CLR.
Friday I'll be on the road with the MissFit WiseWalkers. Making our way from Silver Lake through the Cascade Lakes Highway and on up to Bend.
Ahhh.
photograph from OregonLive's RunOregon blog
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Noticing
Noticing how I miss my novel when I don't have time in a day to work on it. How I think about how to round out a character. How I carried the folder around all day in hopes of having 30 minutes; or 15; or even 5.Noticing how much better I feel after two days in a row of at least eight hours of sleep. Not so tired at the end of a long day.
Noticing how the wind and the current in the water change as the sun goes down over the west hills and the dark clouds start to roll in. How the rain starts slowly, picks up, slows, stops. Rain drops on our rain coats blending with splashes from paddles in the river.
Noticing.
In this moment.
I will remember.
Vessel
plaster excavation
Thursday, March 4, 2010
intentions
I had a massage today. Not the deep tissue it-will-feel-great-later type - but very effective. This LMT's approach addresses issues at many levels and sometimes I set an intention before we begin.
Today was one of those days.
Today I set my intention for the session to keep connection to my body during the next two weeks; to stay "in" my body.
You see, it's finals time. And I'm still scrambling to catch up with grading homework before I have those final assignments and videos and journals. I have 3 1/2 days off (all in a row, amazing for me, I know!) after I give my last final and I don't want to spend all those hours on grading.
I have more work to do than there are hours to do them and sleep and eat and shower. Let alone work out and go to dragon boat training and prep for the big job I have coming up next week.
So, my tendency is to dig my heels in and "get 'er done." Regardless of how I feel. No, that's not quite accurate, either. I slip in to not noticing and not feeling on some levels. I slip into being able to function on very little sleep and effectively "forget" that I haven't gone for a long fitness walk for a little while, and so on.
My intention is to not do that now. It doesn't make it any easier - but I'd like to keep "conscious" of the whole me through this process. Maybe next time I will remember what this feels like before I take on more than one human can sanely do. Keeping conscious may ease the transition into not being so busy and I will take better care of myself and not slide back into less than good for me ways.
I will get student work graded. I will keep my thoughts and body intact. I will sleep and walk when I can and forgive myself for not doing 4 or 5 miles. And after those final grades are turned in, I will rest. And I will try to rest a little before then - but I will definitely breathe easier when I'm teaching only 3 (or is it 4) credits instead of 10.
Today was one of those days.
Today I set my intention for the session to keep connection to my body during the next two weeks; to stay "in" my body.
You see, it's finals time. And I'm still scrambling to catch up with grading homework before I have those final assignments and videos and journals. I have 3 1/2 days off (all in a row, amazing for me, I know!) after I give my last final and I don't want to spend all those hours on grading.
I have more work to do than there are hours to do them and sleep and eat and shower. Let alone work out and go to dragon boat training and prep for the big job I have coming up next week.
So, my tendency is to dig my heels in and "get 'er done." Regardless of how I feel. No, that's not quite accurate, either. I slip in to not noticing and not feeling on some levels. I slip into being able to function on very little sleep and effectively "forget" that I haven't gone for a long fitness walk for a little while, and so on.
My intention is to not do that now. It doesn't make it any easier - but I'd like to keep "conscious" of the whole me through this process. Maybe next time I will remember what this feels like before I take on more than one human can sanely do. Keeping conscious may ease the transition into not being so busy and I will take better care of myself and not slide back into less than good for me ways.
I will get student work graded. I will keep my thoughts and body intact. I will sleep and walk when I can and forgive myself for not doing 4 or 5 miles. And after those final grades are turned in, I will rest. And I will try to rest a little before then - but I will definitely breathe easier when I'm teaching only 3 (or is it 4) credits instead of 10.
Monday, February 15, 2010
What do I Deserve? Razor's Edge response
Razor's Edge response from 2/12/10
The spoken word artist talks about what women deserve. I am a woman. What do I deserve?
If I woke up in the morning and I said to anyone who would listen that, today, I am going to play hookie. What would happen? Do I deserve a day of, as Emi Ha said, loafing?
What would happen if - for just one day - I was not responsible? If I said: this is My Day and I claim it as my own and I will be there for me, first. What would happen?
Sometimes I know I act as if I can hold up the world all by myself. Or at least this corner of the world where I dwell and work and love and don't sleep enough. I think that I can keep going and maybe I should just paint myself pink and attach a puffy bunny tail and carry around a big majorette's drum - just like the energizer bunny.
Only the bunny does run out. Sometime, s/he will. I know it. I know it keeps going and going and going. But one day. It will. Stop.
I don't want to stop.
But maybe I need to rest.
My body is telling me now that I need. To. Rest.
I have a little irritating rash that my body. Can't handle. It's stress induced. I've been told. And my adrenals are running on high although they are still following a circadian rhythm, which is good. I've been told. Or they're kind of stuck or vacuum locked - like my car the one day we had a few hours of snow and ice and I was stuck in traffic for 5 hours going about 5 to 10 MPH and then my car wouldn't get out of low gear. Except my adrenals are in the fight or flight mode. Still. Too much cortisol.
I don't want to get stuck in low gear.
So what do I deserve? What is it I need?
Sleep. Down time. Rest.
The supplements to help my body heal the rash make me tired. I was warned. Tired and a little cold- or flu-like. But not sick. Though the feelings are very similar.
Rest. "You may have to slow down to get over this," my Naturopath warned. And she may be right.
Rest.
What a beautiful four letter word.
The spoken word artist talks about what women deserve. I am a woman. What do I deserve?
If I woke up in the morning and I said to anyone who would listen that, today, I am going to play hookie. What would happen? Do I deserve a day of, as Emi Ha said, loafing?
What would happen if - for just one day - I was not responsible? If I said: this is My Day and I claim it as my own and I will be there for me, first. What would happen?
Sometimes I know I act as if I can hold up the world all by myself. Or at least this corner of the world where I dwell and work and love and don't sleep enough. I think that I can keep going and maybe I should just paint myself pink and attach a puffy bunny tail and carry around a big majorette's drum - just like the energizer bunny.
Only the bunny does run out. Sometime, s/he will. I know it. I know it keeps going and going and going. But one day. It will. Stop.
I don't want to stop.
But maybe I need to rest.
My body is telling me now that I need. To. Rest.
I have a little irritating rash that my body. Can't handle. It's stress induced. I've been told. And my adrenals are running on high although they are still following a circadian rhythm, which is good. I've been told. Or they're kind of stuck or vacuum locked - like my car the one day we had a few hours of snow and ice and I was stuck in traffic for 5 hours going about 5 to 10 MPH and then my car wouldn't get out of low gear. Except my adrenals are in the fight or flight mode. Still. Too much cortisol.
I don't want to get stuck in low gear.
So what do I deserve? What is it I need?
Sleep. Down time. Rest.
The supplements to help my body heal the rash make me tired. I was warned. Tired and a little cold- or flu-like. But not sick. Though the feelings are very similar.
Rest. "You may have to slow down to get over this," my Naturopath warned. And she may be right.
Rest.
What a beautiful four letter word.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)