Thursday, March 4, 2010

intentions

I had a massage today. Not the deep tissue it-will-feel-great-later type - but very effective. This LMT's approach addresses issues at many levels and sometimes I set an intention before we begin.

Today was one of those days.

Today I set my intention for the session to keep connection to my body during the next two weeks; to stay "in" my body.

You see, it's finals time. And I'm still scrambling to catch up with grading homework before I have those final assignments and videos and journals. I have 3 1/2 days off (all in a row, amazing for me, I know!) after I give my last final and I don't want to spend all those hours on grading.

I have more work to do than there are hours to do them and sleep and eat and shower. Let alone work out and go to dragon boat training and prep for the big job I have coming up next week.

So, my tendency is to dig my heels in and "get 'er done." Regardless of how I feel. No, that's not quite accurate, either. I slip in to not noticing and not feeling on some levels. I slip into being able to function on very little sleep and effectively "forget" that I haven't gone for a long fitness walk for a little while, and so on.

My intention is to not do that now. It doesn't make it any easier - but I'd like to keep "conscious" of the whole me through this process. Maybe next time I will remember what this feels like before I take on more than one human can sanely do. Keeping conscious may ease the transition into not being so busy and I will take better care of myself and not slide back into less than good for me ways.

I will get student work graded. I will keep my thoughts and body intact. I will sleep and walk when I can and forgive myself for not doing 4 or 5 miles. And after those final grades are turned in, I will rest. And I will try to rest a little before then - but I will definitely breathe easier when I'm teaching only 3 (or is it 4) credits instead of 10.

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