Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Spaciness may be an Incorrect Label

I was talking with my therapist and I was feeling kind of "spacey." My label for what I was experiencing. She asked if perhaps it was because my world is expanding - opening up - I'm seeing more possibilities.

No, she didn't pull those things out of the air. These are some of the topics we've been discussing in therapy - things I've been experiencing. An outgrowth of the daily gratitude practice I'm doing (it's still new - don't push me, folks, I don't have it down yet; but I'm getting there). And a benefit of my medical wake up call in October. And more sleep. I can't discount the benefits of enough sleep.

My therapist was right. As I checked in with myself I realized that there are some gaps in the fences I've built - mostly to protect myself or to, in my opinion, keep my life from getting out of control. Boundaries. Except the boundaries were serving the purpose of reining me in and not necessarily to keep out the people or things which could be harmful or bring about negative consequences.

Skillful means. That's another way to say it. I have very skillful means and have survived and done well. Not perfect by any means and that's ok - the goal isn't perfection. But one issue is that some of my skillful means are a little outdated. So I'm working on that.

I'm expanding my world of possibilities. More room to breathe. Yes, you can already see the connection if you've been following any of my posts since early October. Breathing space. Yes.

Included in that breathing space is me, sleep, writing, interpreting, theater, teaching/mentoring, and general creativity. And the one thing I still don't have enough of and am finding out what suits me best - just plain ol' down time. Time to rejuvenate. To percolate. To let the world swirl around me and see what presents itself. Hanging out time can be creative or at least inspirational. I want more of that; need more of that.

So - looking outward, looking ahead. Opening up. And breathing.

Writing my way into spacious creativity and expansive possibilities. And continuing my practice of daily gratitude.