2023: What's Ahead

Portal Cards by Corporeal Writing

First, I have continued to write every day since the end of NaNoWriMo. Which is kind of amazing for
me. I don't usually do that - or not outside of November. Even during NaNovember, I often don't make the personal goal of writing every day of the month.

I am writing story starts, ideas for stories, and have made a little bit of progress on The Project (hybrid/memoir). I have also started journal writing, again. With everything happening, that seems like a good idea for me. It has been beneficial, so my intent is to keep up that practice.

I had a boost toward the writing everyday, because I participated in the Literary Kitchen Winter Break Intensive, again. This is a fast-paced, daily assignment class/workshop where we are given 12 assignments in 14 days. (The two days "off" are up to the individual participants.) In addition to our own daily writing, we also provide feedback to three other people's writing for each assignment. Think of it as a writing marathon. It is. And it is a great activity for the last two weeks of December. It's a great way - at least for me - to keep present in my life and keep connected to my writing. The world goes kind of haywire with expectations and holiday gatherings (or not, if you're being COVID cautious or don't like the holidays, or whatever - but even if you avoid the holidays the pressures and expectations from others are still there). This clipping-along writing commitment is fun and gives a nice, creative focus in a time which can "try one's nerves."

I did get all of the assignments done and all of the feedback done. I fell behind on the feedback, so I didn't get it completed until January 2nd. But I did get it done. I do have a few things from that workshop which seem like keepers to develop and edit further; and a few germs of ideas, even though the particular thing I wrote is "not it."

So. On to 2023. In terms of writing, this is going to be a spectacular year. 

On January 1, 2023, the first meeting of the Maven of Mythmaking Certificate Program was held via Zoom. The participants are from all over. Armed with our required and recommended book list and the textbook for the program, The Wayward Writer: Summon Your Power to Take Back Your Story, Liberate Yourself from Capitalism, and Publish Like a Superstar, we met for two hours, did a writing exercise about our goals/intentions For The Year!! We did not do introductions, because we had already begun posting our introductions on the class online Boards. 

That's right: the Maven of Mythmaking is a full-year program, led by Ariel Gore. There are weekly assignments: readings, actions, writing, and of course, feedback. Most months we will have two Zoom meetings, as well. Ariel will have Office Hours. 

The Mythmaking Authors are an eclectic group. We are writing everything from memoir to essays, fantasy to short stories, horror to novels; so much more. We are writers with many publications, writers who have written primarily for themselves; writers who want mainstream publication and writers who want to self-publish or do a hybrid; writers with MFAs and writers who have barely started taking any writing workshops; the age range is large and joyous. 

This is day four of the year-long program and I know it was the right decision.

On some days, when the news is bad and politicians are using citizens as collateral, when my primary work is creating havoc with scheduling which impacts my income and my "safety net" (it is no longer that) - I wonder. Did I do the right thing? This big of a time and financial commitment?

Those moments of doubt are tied to old patterns and old beliefs which still live under my skin. Even though their impact has shrunk, they still exist. Those moments of second guessing myself and toying with self-regret or remorse are truly fractions of a second and rare. But they do still seep through the excitement and creative energy, poking through the surface very briefly. I've learned to give that negativity a nod and a "thanks for trying to keep me safe; but I'm good." It isn't able to get a hold any longer.

So. One thing I am going to try to do is be more present here. I don't have a plan for what that looks like. I'm hesitant to set up a strict schedule, which would put more pressure to perform on me, and potentially set me up for failure. Or, at least, fear of failure - which I am trying to avoid. With the continuing high numbers of COVID-19 cases and my personal additional risks, I still have to avoid prolonged indoor events, especially with large crowds; and if masks are not required, it could be deadly for me. Which means that theatre - another passion of mine, and an important creative outlet, is minimal and mostly virtual for me, until COVID is truly under control - which is not now. (I have a genetic mutation which increases the likelihood of blood clots. It was discovered in 2011 after a bilateral pulmonary embolism incident and don't want to experience it again. This puts me at higher risk of hospitalization and more severe complications from COVID-19. Therefore, I must avoid infection.)

I don't know where this year of Mythmaking and a kind of "alternative MFA" is going to lead. I do not have a specific project I am working on. I am showing up for writing. I will write every day - sometimes that will be journal writing, sometimes it will be generating new material, sometimes it will be reading about writing, writing about writing; sometimes it will be working through edits on The Project; sometimes showing up for writing means loafing and relaxing and going for a walk, where I will be thinking about my writing.

2023 is going to be a good writing year. 

Current Projects

My book, "Illusions of Time: Haiku Comics" was published in August. It is available to purchase it on the BOOKS by Dot tab (or click the link *wink). Also, if you don't already have a copy of my previous chapbook, "Pickle Blanket Chronicles - A Flash Mixtape," you can purchase that. Purchase both books together for a discounted price!

I am also working on final* edits for the hybrid memoir. No publication date, but I will post it here when available. [*"final" means, final for this round. After this edit, I will be sending it to an outside editor to put their eyes and experience on and see what I get back.]

The printed manuscript has its very own soft-yet-sturdy pebbled sangria-colored leather carry-bag, which is also plenty big to carry pens, sticky notes, a notepad and other editing needs. I need the printed manuscript because I am currently doing what Ariel Gore calls "sonic edits" - which means that I read the entire book aloud, making notes as I go. I find reading my writing aloud to myself tedious and want to skip it. Simultaneously, I remember that every time I've read a piece of my writing aloud - whether in preparation for a reading/spoken word event, or in preparing a story for submission - it has been immensely helpful. There are tips and tricks to optimize the experience - and .every.time. that I read my work aloud, it gets better. I know this. So I grit and grin as I take it one page at a time, remembering that the book will be better because of it.

I am continuing to work on developing my comic making skills. I still attend the Friday Night Comics from SAW (Sequential Artists Workshop) when I can, and I am currently in another online Haiku Comics workshop with David Lasky from Seattle, hosted by Pull/Pull in Seattle. David's teaching style is perfect, in my opinion. He is an experienced artist and author, he gives us history and examples of haiku and comics, there are drawing demonstrations. He give us time to create, as well. This late summer comic haiku class, he added information and exposure about using watercolor in comics. He is competent and calm and I appreciate his classes, his art, his teaching very much. (He will be doing another Haiku Comics in the fall.)

I will be doing "The Wayward Writer One-Year Maven of Mythmaking Certificate Program" with Ariel Gore in 2023. This is a new offering in The Literary Kitchen and it looked like exactly what I have been yearning for, for several months. So I signed up. A full year program! Registration is now full, though there is currently a wait list. A month or so ago, I also signed up for "Gore’s Grotto: A New Way to Structure Memoir & Fiction," a one-day workshop via Zoom near the end of October. This end of October workshop is perfect timing, because ...

... I will being doing NaNoWriMo again - my 15th consecutive year! But, for the first time since 2019, I will be taking my annual NaNo writing retreat at the coast. The cozy cabin I love in Oceanside was available for the dates I wanted. It is a nice, quinessential Oregon coast cabin, with a full kitchen, two bedrooms, a living room, a can't-be-beat view and front row seats for miles of weather and ocean activity. And it is mine (and my writer/friend/covid-pod-mate's) for six days of writing in November.

I'm missing our boy today. He was an excellent cat and we loved him. 

Cats get old and get cat diseases and then it's time to let them be at peace, 

even though the decision is not easy.

Bodies Breathing Heartbeats

A friend posted a question in Facebook, which triggered me to think about what things I'm not doing during the pandemic. I made a list of what I am doing - what I have done since the day first things (in my corner of the world) started being canceled, restricted, closed down: March 13, 2020.

If you know me in 3-D world, you know that I am an introvert. And a shy introvert, at that. I only put that here for those who don't know, because it is relevant to what I am about to say.

One of the things I miss most is being in the room with other creative people. Theatre people; artist people; writer people. As soon as the "stay home, stay safe" order came out and theatrical performances were postponed then canceled, I signed up for a few writing workshops. Online writing workshops, because that was - and is - what's available. 

I love my online writing workshops. I have worked with some amazing facilitators and writers online, through Ariel Gore's Literary Kitchen and through Corporeal Writing. My writing workshops with Ariel are almost entirely online all the time, with an occasional in-person class when she's in town. But my workshops with Corporeal Writing have been 90% in real space, breathing together, writing together, sharing heartbeats in real time and place. It's been a perfect mix for me. But since mid-March 2020, all of my writing community is online. 

I am grateful for the ability and opportunity to continue connections, continue mentoring and facilitation, playing with new kinds of writing, exploring words together while apart.

But one this I miss the most right now is the ability to be in the room together as we create, individually and collectively. Because I also think that anytime a group of creative people come together to share art making in real time and space, we are also creating community, some of which may be temporary for that specific time and some of which may carry over into our lives. 

And, for me, I like some heart breathing bodies together time, too. 

I miss being bodies and hands and hearts in the same space for creative adventures.

But, by being safe, keeping distance now, wearing masks/face coverings, good hygiene, limiting bodies together in space time, we can come together later. In real time. In real space. And breathe words together.

I miss my 3-D writing people time.

Photos from the Transmutation Book Making writing workshop through Corporeal Writing, with Ruth Patience Bryant and Domi Shoemaker. 

Check in - writing is happening

Checking in, again.

Again, I could write that I'm busy. I am. I am busy a lot.

Am I still writing? Yes.

Have I made any progress on the WIP? No. But I have written a lot, several times every week; not every day. All of that is okay.

I still don't know what I want this space to be. What to write. What it's for.

I don't want to let it go but I don't have a clear path. Which is funny, because this is pretty much the topic I'm working on in my general life (what do I want? where do I go from here? and so on). This is also - in a way - the topic of the current writing workshop I'm in, "Experiments in Story Structure" with Ariel Gore. We are exploring non-traditional forms of writing stories, which aren't really non-traditional, but they have new names and are described in new ways; but many of the examples are from what have been considered "traditional" stories.

I am still writing.
I will continue to write.
I am still working (of course) and I am fortunate to have a part of my work be creative and inspiring and something I love (theatre).
I am in need of some down time (note to body: no, I do not need to get sick to get down time; I will make time without it - please and thank you).

I have been doing a lot of writing, actually. The most recent workshops I've done were the 14-day winter intensive with Ariel Gore, and then the current workshop (also online) started about 4 days after the end of the intensive. So - writing. Yes. Keeping it on the "front burner." I also like a lot of what I've written.

This week I have a couple of uncommitted days, where I have a little space to breathe before jumping into March. Which is going to be one of the super busy and super creative months - starting with interpreting the Oregon Poetry Out Loud (high school recitation) competition, and the month includes mentoring for one play and watching a couple of other interpreted performances that my only role is as coordinator. Full, busy, creative month.

I am wondering about this space - what do I want it to be? Not for the first time. I liked the times when I posted prompts, when I shared more resources, shared articles and advice from others. I may bring some of that back. Maybe have some regularly scheduled writings to post.

Time to go back and look at my original intentions and see what still holds and what has changed.

*

New Fiction Story Published

*

My copies of the anthology, "places like home," arrived yesterday. I am excited and honored to have a new short story, "the day jimmy changed," included in this beautiful book. I am thrilled to be sharing the printed pages with this collection of other skillful writers, some of whom I have written with in the room in person; some of them I have shared virtual classes with. 

Ariel Gore is, herself, a talented and creative writer. She is also a fantastic workshop/class facilitator, mentor, editor, creative human. All of the stories in this book, be they in the form of fiction, memoir, or poetry, sprang from prompts in classes, or from her Saturday writing prompts (available for a $5 per month subscription).

I also was delighted to be an editor for one of the chapters. This gave me the opportunity to work closely with some of the other writers and their creative visions.

This is a beautiful book and it is available at LiteraryKitchen.net. This link takes you directly to the book's page on the website; but I encourage you to look around at what else is there.

"Ariel Gore’s School for Wayward Writers is a network, a community, a secret society of writers and art-makers. We are beginners. We’ve been at this for decades. We are bestselling authors. We’re recluses who only create for ourselves and each other. We are MFA professors, sex workers, high school dropouts, administrative assistants—and sometimes all of the above. We are witches and witch-adjacent. We are teenagers and grandmothers. We are feminists and anti-racists of all genders. We live in Eureka and Melbourne, in Seattle and Brooklyn, in Melbourne and Cairo. We gather online in The Literary Kitchen. We meet in person in Portland or Astoria; in Longview or Oaxaca; in Santa Fe or Truth or Consequences. We tell the truth. We face the consequences. We lie sometimes, too."

—from the introduction

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New Year/New Decade

Short and sweet, because I don't make New Year Resolutions. But it is the beginning of not only a new year, but a new decade, so I want to start it on a good note.

The year 2019 was a challenging year in several ways. It was a wonderful year in many ways. Lessons learned, friendships strengthened, writing skill and production increased, theatrical life blossoming and taking off in exciting new directions. Life is good and it is a new year.

I will remember the goodness of 2019 and I will remember the lessons and move forward.

I started 2020 today with writing. That felt really good. I did good work and I wrapped up feedback from a wonderful two week writing intensive workshop with Ariel Gore in the Literary Kitchen. Starting the year with an intention of writing more and completing more writing projects.

I look forward to the new of the decade, the new of the year.

New year, new decade, refreshed creative soul.

NaNoWriMo 2019 is (almost) a wrap

On Tuesday, November 26th, I crossed the 50,000 words written in 30 days mark. It was my regular writing time with a friend. I posted here that I was nearing the finish line; and I continued to write.

With one minute to go before I had to leave our location to go to work, I did it! I had written 50,017 words. I didn't have time to update my count because I had to drive to work.

Yesterday I did write more, and today I wrote more. Because my secondary goal was to write every day in November and it looks like I will make that one, too. I have never made it all 30 days in NaNoWriMo and I wanted to give that a shot, too. My current word count is 52,312.

Two more days of NaNoWriMo 2019 and this one will be done, too.

My writing this year was - again - in the "rebel" category. I did start a novel and I like the novel I started. I like the ideas of the novel and I want to develop it more and see where it goes; it could become an actual book! Or at least a full length short story (although if I do that, there is an element of it I would need to simplify or eliminate one thread). The rest of my writing, probably one-third of it, was for the Personal Essay Intensive online workshop with Ariel Gore. That was a great workshop and I finished (maybe - we'll see what I think after I reread it again) an essay I want to submit to a specific place for publication.

Another successful NaNoWriMo!

Two Readings Next Week

Work and Writing have been filled to the brim and overflowing, in delicious ways. So, even though I have fallen embarrassingly behind in sharing words here, they have been happening:
- I am in the final days of Magical Writing, an online writing workshop in the Literary Kitchen with Ariel Gore ;
- I completed the handwritten edits on the book and am entering them into Scrivener. Which is, not surprisingly, creating more edits;
- I have two readings happening next week. One is an official AWP Conference offsite reading at Jade Lounge (the black and white flyer), and the other is in Astoria next Monday (second flyer below):
- I am working on a multimedia piece for a reading tentatively scheduled in April, and I will post an update when details are confirmed;
- I have also been very busy with theater - interpreting, supporting other interpreters, we are in the last days of the "As on the Stage" training, and attending theater (last week I interpreted one and watched three other plays in three days - one of those was ACT's "Romeo & Juliet" in Seattle, which included two Deaf actors in the cast and the ASL-English/English-ASL was integrated into the production).

Now I must go work on feedback for the online workshop and work on my final piece of writing to submit.

Here is the flyer for the out of town reading next week. If you're in Astoria or want to take a drive to the coast, here is where we will be reading. This one is not at all related to the AWP Conference, although many of us from this writing retreat will also be attending AWP.

Writing Murmuration

I am in a sweet spot of writing. I get to be in workshops/classes with the writing mammals who give me breath and space and hold each other close and tell truths.

I just completed a twelve-week online manuscript writing workshop with Ariel Gore in The Literary Kitchen. This was my second time in that class and I am solid in my book now; moving it forward. I can feel in my body that this project is right and it will get done.

Then, just to make sure I keep on with the edits, I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo. There are many differences between November NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo (there is one in April and one in July), but one of the big ones is that in Camp, you set your own goal. This is only my second time in Camp N and this time I set my goal to editing 90 pages in the 30 days. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I am working with the printed manuscript and editing by hand. If I find the editing and rewriting goes faster, I can increase my goal.

Sunday started an online Short Story writing workshop/class with Ariel in the Literary Kitchen. It kicked off on Friday with signing up for the boards and a pre-assignment. This one is three weeks and I am already loving it.

Then, this recent weekend I spent Friday night through Sunday late afternoon at the Corporeal Writing Center with an in-person Spring Seasonal Revision workshop with Lidia Yuknavitch and Domi Shoemaker and is was also magic. I need the balance of online and in person - and I need to have time in person with my Corporeal Writing tribe. And the Lidia & Domi infusion.

I am swimming in the words of the writers I get to share time with online and in person. I feel sated and wanting more simultaneously and my writing is flowing for it.

Last night I watched a video of a starlings murmuration and I was mesmerized. I was not able to find the exact video to share, but this one is close. The murmuration looks like how I felt this weekend. the gathering, forming, reforming. spreading out and coming back together; in sync and yet many individuals of the whole. Rise and fall and dropping back quietly, efficiently, whole, into a place of rest before returning to the next part of the journey.

Swimming in Words

I'm still writing. Still in the online manuscript class with Ariel Gore and it is fantastic and progress is being made. I have had some major insights and rewrites and this project is getting done!

photo by Domi Shoemaker

I'm preparing to interpret some theatre. Which is awesome. The first is an incredible, new, vibrant musical of "Scarlet" - The Scarlet Letter from Hester's perspective.

The last two weekends I interpreted poetry competitions (high school student reciting published works of Poets from across the ages). That is always an inspirational and exciting event. And our amount of preparation is huge - but I love it.

And I'm writing. At the end of this month I have a Corporeal Writing workshop and boy, do I need that infusion, too. I've haven't been in a workshop with Lidia Yuknavitch since last summer and I am looking forward to this one (it's one of the seasonal series). I did have a workshop with Brigid Yuknavitch last fall and that was so, so good.

And. That's what I'm doing. Interpreting, writing, theater. I have written the bones of a couple of essays, but there is much to go before those are done. But it's a start so that I won't lose those thoughts.

And I'm wondering what to do with this blog. I'd like to revise it, but right now, I have plenty to do and not the same amount time. It's all good and the balance will come.

Right? Right.

Moving the Manuscript Forward

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It's been a while since I've written about my writing, about the process I'm in.

I have been writing quite a bit. I started the winter manuscript class with Ariel Gore strong, writing and editing every day. As theatre commitments increased, the writing decreased.

The good news is that writing never fell off. It just slid farther down the time scale as I prepared for two plays.

Then, this last week, I had no theater. No shows to watch for preparation, no translations to work on, no rehearsals. So, good news, more time for writing. These past three days I have done a lot of editing. I even enjoyed the editing process, which is new. My new system is working and - surprise - I am not hating editing! It has felt good to be in the flow of editing. And, while I initially was giving myself a hard time about it, I stopped that nonsense, too.

This project is going to the next level. I am taking it to the next level. While I am not going to get this draft done before the end of the workshop, I have already made significant progress and am going to continue. In a couple of weeks I have three weeks of intense interpreting work (on top of my regularly intense VRS work, smile) but right now I know that I will keep working on this. The amount of time will decrease a bit, necessarily, but I will not be stopped.

Taking this book to the next level. And I'm having fun!

Feeling Grateful

Last weekend I attended an in-person workshop with Ariel Gore, right here in Portland Oregon, It was a wonderful group a writers. We gathered in one participant's home, where we shared pieces of our projects and new writing. We played with editing in Ariel's useful, magical, inspiring "editing stations." We shared drinks and food provided by our kind and generous host. We talked about our writing and our process, about publishing and keeping on writing even when it gets difficult.


Two of the days were a little early for me; but I know that I'm the one with a non-traditional schedule and it was all fine. I survived. Now I'm getting back to my regularly scheduled schedule.


And I feel refreshed and rejuvenated.


I am still in the online three-month manuscript workshop with Ariel, which is also going really well. I am making some amazing progress on editing this draft, with a new deadline to get this thing done. To get it to where I can take it to the next level, meaning earnestly working on getting the book out into the world.


All this while working on a couple of wonderful productions: "Weaving Women Together" at Portland Playhouse (interpreted performance is this Wednesday 1/24 at 7:30 pm) and "2.5 Minute Ride" at Profile Theatre (interpreted performance will be Friday 2/2 at 7:30 pm). Both of these have strong scripts and strong, skilled actors to match.


Writing is happening every day, which was another goal with the manuscript workshop. It feels good.

Collage for my WIP

This is another assignment from the manuscript workshop with Ariel Gore.

Oh, first. My WIP has a new title. This change feels so right and it has injected the project and me with new energy. This is just what it needed. I'm not going to share here, yet, but I will. For now, the title I've been using has served me well and gotten the project to this point, but I have officially changed the name.

I also have the beginning and end of the book. It's not as easy as it sounds and has been one of the struggles for me. Where to start and where to stop. I've had all these pieces and possibilities. But now I know how it's going to go. Not the exact order of everything, but I do have the main thread and which stories belong in that.

This is what I made for the optional (but not really) assignment. This is a collage showing the feel of the project right now. This is radically different than the one I made last summer with the old title.

I am excited to be making movement in the project.

One week later

It has been a week plus a day since the end of NaNoWriMo. Another year of writing more than 50,000 words in a month (10th consecutive year) and this year I did write every day. I had two plays in November, and still managed to make write every day and meet the goal.

So, what's next?

I did have my regular writing Tuesday date this week - although we moved it to Monday because Tuesday was my birthday and I had breakfast plans before I started work. I did not write new work on Monday, but I did identify the next section for editing. Which is a big accomplishment; the even bigger accomplishment will be editing those sections.

I signed up for Ariel Gore's Winter Manuscript Class, which is a good thing. That gives me an external goal to edit and keep moving forward with the project. Which is one reason I signed up to do it! That and the fabulous feedback from Ariel and the other participants. And the deadlines. I will have to submit three 10,000 work chunks of writing for feedback. I requested to be in the first group, because I have a draft of the manuscript done and I am in the editing phase; I am not starting from scratch. So - I have now identified the sections I will be submitting and am working on revisions.

Or, I will be working on revisions. Soon. Actually, I do have a writing date next week, too, and have committed that time to writing even if that's all I can squeeze out next week.

This week has also been full of wonderful theatre as I prepare to interpret a classic production of "A Christmas Carol" by Portland Playhouse. Portland Playhouse has earned the awards they've won for this production: it is fun, colorful, visual, full of the holiday spirit, the cast works as an ensemble - it is a pleasure to be able to work with them to make *two* performances accessible (a plug: Wed 12/13 at 7:00 pm and Fri 12/22 at 2:00 pm; if you want access to the interpreters, choose yellow seats). This production is family friendly set in the traditional period.

I am also preparing to interpret "Twist Your Dickens" at Portland Center Stage at The Armory on Thu 12/21. This is the fifth year I've interpreted the production and the third time with the same  interpreter, Jayodin Mosher. We have fun with the show and work well together, never knowing exactly what we'll be interpreting because there is improv in this production, as well. This is not your traditional Christmas Carol (hence the name, *Twist* Your Dickens!) and PCS recommends this for ages 14+.  There is still a Scrooge and Bob Cratchit and a few other familiar characters, plus a whole lot more!

So, this last week, theater was back in the front seat with me and writing in the back. But soon, that seating arrangement will switch.

No complaints, just noticing the lovely seesaw of my creativity.

Check in - self-inspiration

Summer 2016 Corporeal Writing Seasonal Workshop. photo by Domi

I can't believe it is now August 10th. And don't you hate it when people start off a conversation like that? I do.

But, it is.

So - I just posted my final 10k submission in the manuscript workshop for this round. That is 30k words of my book I have shared with others. And on which I have received some really good, helpful, insightful feedback and perspectives.

I've also gained insights into the project. Revised and re-visioned significant pieces. Written new sections and taken things out. It feels like it is coming together.

I also signed up for the Winter Intensive. That online workshop in the Literary Kitchen with Ariel Gore, with daily assignments and feedback to keep my writing moving and active during that distracting and potentially triggering holiday time. And I signed up for the Winter Manuscript class. This will be the first time she's taught it in the winter and I hope to have the entire draft at the next level and ready to "take it on home" with that workshop. I hope.

That's where I'm at. Oh - and I am going to the Corporeal Writing Summer Heat writing workshop this weekend, again at the beautiful Oregon Gardens Resort. I loved it last year and I know I will this year, as well. Love it and am nervous and ready to go to that place with my writing, again.

Writing. Revising. More writing.

And trying to build some loafing into my schedule. Because loafing helps with creativity and brain and body require some down time, too. (And that was in our weekly assignment this week in the Kitchen; but I do need it anyway.)

The project is moving forward. Yes.

Revision Is Hard (for me)

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I am in a 12-week manuscript class and we just passed the halfway mark.

It is an amazing experience with Ariel Gore at the helm, and a group of skilled writers with so many good stories to tell. There are writing exercises, prompts, feedback, reading other authors' words, resources Q&As, and more.

It is very helpful and my project is moving forward.

Moving forward and away from me and I chase it and I catch up and more comes along and I see many possibilities. Building that onto the revelations and experience at Writing by Writers Methow Valley retreat/workshop in May, which built onto Corporeal Writing workshops with Lidia Yuknavitch and Domi, which built on earlier workshops with Ariel in the Literary Kitchen.

Possibilities for strengthening my writing, making words clearer and the stories pop and sizzle and feel right.

And, still, I am not daunted by the new material. I am excited to work in lost or forgotten details. To take a couple of found threads of my stories to weave them together. To work with memory and storytelling and, well, you'll have to wait and see. I am excited to make changes.

Once in a while that little critical voice comes along which whispers (or yells, although its voice is losing power) that I can't/shouldn't/won't/don't dare write this thing into completion. It brings up doubts and fears and old confusion of responsibility and truth and wonder and forgetting.

The forgetting is the harder part. Forgetting is easy and it used to be that forgetting happened without notice, without any signal, and celebration or achievement slipped away, too. Not just the hard stuff but the good stuff, too. It all slipped away between a blink and a breath, shut in a room far away out of sight out of thought. Never happened in the consciousness.

But it did. But it didn't.

Now things don't slip away so easily. Now that critical voice is quieter and sometimes it gets lost in the successes and the stories and its stories have lost a lot of their power. It's good.

It's not easy. And when I go through these stories I've written and am writing. When I relive them and remember and the sensations run through me, through my corporeal being, the trick is to let them pass through and not get stuck.

But doubt doesn't go away that easily. It may never be totally gone for me. The goal is to quiet the doubt and the confusion, and let confidence and skillful means take the lead, the louder voice.

While I work on the stories of times when confidence and skillful means meant basic survival.

Revising the stories for flow and word choice and pacing and clarity. Revising heartbeats and breath, movement and stagnation, making room for readers. And me.

It may be hard, but I'm on it.

And I'm doubling down on the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. If you haven't read any of these stories, there is a ton of context missing. Just trust me - meat and mashed potatoes are in the revision.

This really was in my fortune cookie tonight!

Tick tock tick tock

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I am a real writer.

Yesterday I received a rejection of a story I submitted in April. I thought it was about time for a response and, yes, the email arrived. Thanks but not this time.

Rejections are good. It means my writing is out there. Slower submission process than I'd like. But my writing time is mostly spent on the Work In Process (WIP), reading the writing of other authors in the 12-week manuscript online workshop, doing quick writes and writing exercises for the same workshop.

So, writing time is spent more on writing than submitting. Which is fine. But this was my last piece out and my goal is (somewhat sadly) to always have one piece submitted somewhere. Which means that my options are: find a place to send that particular story; pick another story and find a place to put it; or find a place I want to submit to (where I think my work will fit) and then find a story I've written that fits (or can fit with editing).

So. Rejection = successful writer.

Today I had some hours stretching out before me. After dropping S off early in the morning (hey, 8AM is early for me!) and having the rest of the day to myself until 3:30, ( was going to write.) I had Big Plans.

And I have 10k words due tonight before midnight, plus the rest of a writing exercise.

I did spend a lot of time in front of my computer. A lot. I took a couple of breaks from my writing-screen-staring. But mostly screen-staring, with moments of writing.

It is possible for me to submit the 10k words that I have as they are. I identified the section I am going to submit last week. Then I changed my mind and wanted to put in two other pieces, which meant pulling out a bunch of words. Which I did, but I had to write a brief explanation to fill in a gap.

I did get some rewrites done. Oh, because I was 222 words over the limit. So I have to at least get it under 10k. I cut a bunch of words, enough words. Then I had to do some rewrites to strengthen that story. And now I'm at 10,400. Sigh.

And how much did I get tightened and rewritten and stronger from the 26 pages? Two. Two pages.

Sometimes the time and the writing energy don't coincide. Or maybe it was because I was up too early and not optimal sleep in an unfamiliar bed.

Or.

Whatever. Dinner in 30 minutes. Then I have to return to the writing and see if I can give the whole thing one pass for basic clean up before I submit it to the workshop before 11:45 PM tonight (giving myself a little flex room in case of problems with the intermittently disappearing WiFi in this hotel).

I will commit to identifying either a place or a piece for my next submission before the end of this week.

And I will submit 10k tonight regardless of the status. After all, this is a manuscript draft class, not the finished product.

Okay, back to it.

Manuscript Update

I was about 1/3 of the way through reading the manuscript when I took this photo.

I have completed reading all 429 pages of that manuscript. Don't worry, it won't be that long when it's published. I knew there would be some duplication of information or even copy/paste errors - but I thought there would be more. There are about 20 pages in total which are near exact stories. I say "near exact" because there have been some edits on those pieces, or small sections form within removed or moved. But those 20 pages are less than I expected.

Which is good news and, oh boy!

I do expect there to be a lot cut in the edits and some rewrites. I do still have a couple of gaps which need the stories written to fill. I will.

This is also printed double-spaced, 12 point font with extra margin on the right for notetaking.

I have also written my assessment of where the project is right now.

And am working on my Hopes and Intentions for the manuscript workshop which starts at the end of this week.

Next up will be to identify and prepare 10,000 words for submission to the workshop, since I volunteered to be in the first group of submitters. My 10k words are due next Sunday, June 11th.

A couple of months ago I set myself a deadline to complete this draft of the manuscript by the end of October 2017. Wow! I am actually putting that information out into the larger atmosphere. There it is.

And I do think I will hit that goal this time. I may even get it done a little early, thank you to the wonderful manuscript workshop I am about to embark on with Ariel Gore and some fabulous writers in the Literary Kitchen.

Here I go!
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I'm Excited to Jump into Editing

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Five days : writing and writers, in the middle of nature as far as your eye can see, fed and caffeinated and watered, extraordinary faculty.

With particular thanks to Pam Houston for starting Writing by Writers (and for making one of the sites at Methow Valley)

Huge thank yous to Lidia Yuknavitch for being, and for being present with our group of 12 and helping us find ways to make our work stronger, for your support. And thank you to my workshop writing partners, Sheila, Kristin, Chelsea, Taylor, Arielle, Ellie, Rochelle, Bridget, Marcie, Cindy, Chanel.

I know it was an especially good writing workshop when I come home excited to jump into revisions and rewrites, which includes not only the editing I knew I had to do, but two more threads/themes I need to go back and incorporate throughout the project and some questions I have to answer.

Next up isr Ariel Gore's Summer Manuscript online class, which begins in three weeks. Currently printing the full manuscript to begin final prep for that. So, more editing!

If you know me in my writing life, you know that "I'm excited to edit" is not usually in my vocabulary. Which is how i know this is the real deal - that the gems from Writing by Writers are true and that the timing for Ariel's manuscript workshop are spot on.
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Rearranging Letters to Make Words

So much happening - in my local world of words and theater. In this country with the - no, I'm trying to keep politics out of here, which is one reason why words have shown up here less frequently, I believe. 

I do not mean that personal and political are unrelated. Or that writing about the political situation and the crisis we are in are separate.

But I have been overwhelmed with many things that are happening. Overwhelmed and yet I call and/or send emails and/or send postcards and/or do the online forms with or without personalization other than my name. 

Facebook has become a daily near-ritual, which I vowed it would never be. But politics and having people I know in the 3-D world I trust and respect who are helping keep me informed. Finding links to research. Reaching out and being there for others. It is all important.

Here, writing, that side of me which creates because I can't not create. Who writes because there's a drive and words to say. The me here, "inside voice" is what burbles to the top of word lists right now. I don't have to shout about it, I can just be the quiet me, the reflective me, the going inward and bringing up stories and words and putting them together into something to share. Or not.

Not separate. 

But right now vulnerable. Not just because of politics. Because of writing. Because of my writing. And I keep going, will keep doing it. Will get it done.

Vulnerable. Yes. And sometimes that is hard to put down.

I just did.

I'm still here.

Next week I will be going to the Writing by Writers workshop/conference at Methow Valley and I'm excited. I will be in the Lidia Yuknavitch group again this year. What I submitted this year is not as strong as what I sent last year, which is okay, it's a workshop and there will be feedback, which can only help make the two chapters stronger. I am also working on revising a piece to submit; I haven't found the deadline yet, so I hope I don't miss it. I am also doing a different sort of daily writing, which is hard to get myself to do and I have, for six consecutive days; yay, me! 

And I've been writing a lot of correspondence related to a major section of my work - performance interpreting. There are some conversations happening related to some potentially exciting performance events, which I can't say right now and I'm sorry for being vague. I will be posting more over at Performing Arts Interpreting Alliance (PAIA) about three interpreted shows which have just been added ("Sordid Lives" as part of the OUTwright Festival on June 10; two short Kabuki plays being performed in English at PSU on May 30; "The Tempest, a Magical Steampunk Adventure" at Experience Theatre on July 2). 

Oh - and back to writing: I signed up for Ariel Gore's Summer Manuscript Workshop. Twelve weeks devoted to working on/finishing a book project. Yes, I did it. I signed up. I had secretly set a date to complete the revision of the manuscript in mid-October. When I saw a reminder about Ariel's workshop and I checked my calendar, the timing was almost perfect so, I took the leap. I am excited about that and. Wow!

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