One month later .dot.dot.dot.

I've been back home just over a month now, from the road trip down through California, across Arizona into New Mexico and up to Taos, then back home through Utah, Idaho, Oregon.

It feels much longer than a month. I worked as many extra hours as I could to make up some of the time (meaning money) that I didn't earn during those lovely two weeks away. I also had an event I was involved with which took time, and more time, and additional time. A lovely annual event I love; but it still required more attention than the original agreement, which was fine, it was important. And my partner had, apparently, a burst blood vessel in her eye, which turns out is actually a common occurrence and no big deal - and with arnica and compresses and extra thick eye drops healed itself quickly, faster than predicted and well ahead of her upcoming trip to Italy to teach art; but we didn't know what it was when it happened and it was a late night trip to urgent care, arriving about 20 minutes before they closed but, luckily, she was the only patient. And there was a minor car accident (not her fault, but we're still waiting for the insurance company's determination on that - the other driver blamed her) - an accident is pretty much always a pain in the butt but the car is repairable and drive-able.

I didn't realize until I was writing this: it has been only one month.

One month. One full month. Not bad and I am not complaining. But I remember on the last leg of the trip, driving home through the Columbia Gorge, I was thinking and then said - I don't want to lose the good things from this trip. I don't want to forget the slowing of time in a good way and the being able to relax and just be present some of the time. I don't want to forget that life exists in a realm where there is time and space and air to breath.

One month.

Have I forgotten already? Not quite. Not entirely. There has been a lot of good happening, as well. In the theater side of my life, there are two new places I am working with and am excited about. I am excited by many of the theatrical productions I get to work on and see this season - there are a lot of really strong plays and casts. It is a power filled season. I have a short fiction piece coming out in an anthology sometime soon; I will share the details as soon as the release date, title & cover are available. I have my November (NaNoWriMo) writing retreat planned [I didn't get the residency I applied for and it really is okay; the coast retreat is later that month will be spectacular in a place I love and it is half the distance away, so, more time for writing!].

I have not forgotten. But it was receding to the background. Until now.

I remember.

Time and space and air to breath. It is within me. It is around me. I will remember to take time, too, even when obligations require more time in the moment. In my overall life, there is time, space, air, breath.

Inspiration and Rejuvenation

We traveled through eight states in thirteen days, we looked at art and met up with family and friends. We had six days in a row where we could wake up on our own schedule, no alarms. We took in the sky. So much sky and light and, for a while, time. What seemed like so much time when we arrived at the second part of our trip, Taos NM, became so little time left and so much to do. It all worked out and isn't that often the way with a trip? At the beginning the time stretches into a far away horizon, but at the end it seems not much was actually accomplished and so much might be missed.

Wait. Rewrite that narrative. One goal of this trip was rest, relax, rejuvenate.

Done?

Yes.

It was a success.

We also had some wonderful discussions, saw beautiful art. And the sky! Did I mention the sky? Here, let me show you.

Creative inspiration in the form of an expanse of blue, clouds, openness.

Tale About a Keyboard

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Technology: one of the necessary "evils" of life (note the quote marks, which means I don't really think it's evil, okay, I mean, you know; a precedent has been set, right?). Today's journey through techlandia was this. I woke up and did my morning routine of check work email, check personal email, check text messages, go to the computer and check the overnightly news and FB posts about such news and things my friends are doing. Upon waking the computer, I was greeted with the 'need login verification blah blah blah" - yes, I know. I put in the password. Nothing. Thought I typed it wrong, did it again while sipping the dregs of yesterday's coffee. No response. Nothing. I tried to erase the password it thought it was and couldn't. To cut the story short - no response from keyboard, which was fine before I went to bed. Absolutely fine. And it's one of those ergonomic keyboards (love it!). Plugged it into different USB ports; nothing. Checked that another device and USB cord were working and plugged them into the original USB port for the keyboard. Fine; worked as it should; no problem. Found my backup ergonomic keyboard and plugged it in. No response. Tried different ports. No response. Retrieved the new-in-box-never-used keyboard (style I don't like, flat, narrower, shiver) - same thing. No response. Yes, I tried restart my computer. Voila - a message that there was a keyboard malfunction. Sigh. Searched online on a device. Told to restart computer and then press F2. Um, I can't, the keyboard doesn't respond. Another helpful person had replied with press F8 with restart - again, malfunctioning keyboard. Had to abandon the project for appointments and tonight a rehearsal. I had managed to get to the point before I left in the control panel where there was some potentially useful information. However, I couldn't start it -- I do know enough to not start a potentially hours long troubleshooting and repair event when I have to leave the house in 20 minutes. So I didn't. Off to appointments, dinner, rehearsal. Home ten hours later. Changed into comfy pants and a super soft t-shirt, made a greens & berries smoothie, filled up my water and I'm ready to attack the computer keyboard problem. Devices ready because I had a plan. Use devices to search internet for more potential issues. Email search results, URLs, etc so I could copy paste from email on my computer (luckily I was still logged in to my email account!) and, hopefully, resolve it quickly. Computer still showing no keyboarding device. I decided to try, one more time, to click the Microsoft "search for device" before proceeding with what was looking like it was going to be a very long night; the keyboard was not responding. This time, it took. Whatever it was, the problem is resolved. Whatever it was, leaving it alone, taking care of other responsibilities and knowing that this was low on my priority list, was the right thing to do. No reason. Nothing changed. Other than time and space for the computer and keyboard to think about what they had done and change their behavior. Sure, right. First world problem, I realize. Problem of privilege, I also realize. And, today, it was one thing I could do right, not related to politics or the state of the country, the world. One thing I can look at and know that I made the right decision this time. 

Writing. Moving Forward. Time

The only problem with driving vacations is that driving time takes away from writing time.

Driving vacations give you plenty of conversation time when you're traveling with someone. But less of the down time when you get to your destination. Although, for some of us (me), the driving is part of the "down time."

Which may seem kind of weird. But not to me. I love driving.

But this lack of non-driving down time didn't allow for much writing on our recent trip to Los Angeles. I'm not complaining; simply observing. The trip was wonderful and we had nice visits with Ian and Ruby.

Now I have the opportunity to remedy the lack of down time for writing by taking a writing retreat to the coast! I just happened to end up with a few days off in a row - completely unplanned but very welcome - so last week I decided to use this time for writing.

I had many options to fill the time. Really. Many. No exaggeration.

Oh - the part I haven't yet said? I received an email while we were in L.A. that the writing for the Writing By Writers workshop in May is due on April 10th.

So. Nothing like a deadline to light the fire. And, to be fair, I did start working on something about four weeks ago, but there is still plenty to do. And what needs to be done is time intensive and a large block of time.

Which I will have. Soon.

Time. Water. Salt air. A comfortable place to sleep, with a view, with power for my laptop.

Time for writing.

Planning for Writing

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Well, that title was what I was planning to write about. Where I started and what I'm going to end up writing are not the same.

But they are both about writing. And about making a plan. Or planning to make a plan.

Or.

I originally started with "I am still steeped in theatre." Which is a true statement. From there I went on to say more about being steeped in theatre, which I love, but which takes more output than the money coming in. Which necessitates maintaining a certain level of other paid work to meet financial responsibilities.

And that was where I found myself on the "sit and spin" cycle.

So I set off down the internet path, another place where one can lose time, in search of something to link to or quote from or to support my thoughts on writing and time. The relationship. Or lack of.

And you know how sometimes, the thing you need to read or hear is right there. The first thing in your search or on the bus or in the office when you walk through the door? That happened.

This:

Cut the bullshit and make time to write

Then there was this one, which early on had the quote "Time is a level playing field" :

Make More Time for Your Writing

xxx ... this second site includes the "Top Ten Time-Wasting Strategies" - ideas to keep the creative juices flowing even when you think you can't.

So that's it.

Or to at least plan for the time when I can. That is my other strategy - look for the times when I can write more freely, flowingly, deeply. And put it in the books. Look for a time when I can take a retreat and write. At least writing is staying in the playing field and it isn't lost under the pile of scheduling and plays and work like in the past. My writing is still present.
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Words I Hope to Never Hear Again

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The Poetry Out Loud competition was really good last Saturday. All of the high school participants were well prepared and performed excellent recitations. I was glad I was "only" one of the interpreters and not a judge; high quality work from all of them. And I congratulate all of the students who went on to Oregon state finals and am looking forward to hearing who will be representing Oregon in the National Poetry Out Loud competition later this year.

The student from Oregon School for the Deaf did an outstanding job and she was a pleasure to watch. (We don't interpret the OSD students' poems; they sign for themselves and their poems are projected onto a large screen so the non-signers know what they are signing.) She did not score as one of the top three at the regional level last weekend, meaning she did not advance to the state level. She represented her school well and I hope to see more of her in the literary and performing arts areas!

This also meant that we did not interpret the state finals held on March 15th (we would have if there was a request from audience members, but there was not). I had many hours blocked out in my schedule for poetry interpreting preparation which I no longer needed. I was looking forward to a slower week, with some unexpected down time.

A little bit of that time was taken up with a meeting and an unscheduled special event. But even with the early in the week occurrence which resulted in words I hope to never hear again, we did manage to have our date night on Saturday. We went to a staged reading of "Hungry" by Amy Claussen at Profile Theatre on Saturday and stayed for the festivities and announcement of the 2015 season playwright; it was a fun night.

And writing? Yes, even some of that happened this week. I worked on the radio script and submitted that to my Friday night writing group for feedback. And I went to my Tuesday morning writing space - even though my writing buddy was unable to make it - where I wrote a blog post for Portland Center Stage. And then on Wednesday I started a new short story which is a kind of character study at this point; I'm not sure where it's headed but I like it so far.

Oh, and the words I hope to never hear again? The words which ended up consuming a significant portion of the hours I thought would be low key down time? The words which grew in severity, day by day, creating new tasks and phone calls and "must do it now" calls to action? "Data breach." That's all I'm going to say for now. "Data breach."
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NaNoWriMo Day 4 : Word Count Success

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Today I made the daily average word count. It was a little touch a go, since I woke up with a sore throat and stuffed sinuses. And felt like I just wanted to stay in bed.

But aside from needing to get to work, I also needed to maintain my daily exercise and to write. There wasn't quite enough time, but I made it!

I decided to write the audition scene today, as that is something I know well. It doesn't require research for me and, since I have the character sketches, that helped the dialogue flow, as well. I didn't have to think too hard about who was there or wonder about the process, since I have been a part of many theatrical auditions. Which meant I was able to write on breaks, sip soup at dinner and write - and I believe what I wrote still makes sense.

So, I am happy to report that I wrote a little over the daily average for today. I ended my NaNoWriting with a total of 8913 words.

Tomorrow I will get the first poetry prompt for the online class. I will have no problem knowing what to write in my Tuesday midday writing meeting.
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Challenge: D is for Dallying

D is for Dallying.

From Merriam-Webster:


1a : to act playfully; especially : to play amorously
  b : to deal lightly : toy
2a : to waste time
  b : linger, dawdle




I chose the above definition of Dally because it's not entirely negative. Most of the available definitions of Dallying take the negative spin, such as this one from Google: Act or move slowly: "workers were loafing, dallying, or goofing off".

But for writers, for artists of any kind I believe, dallying is actually a necessity. I also believe that even the 2a definition above - to waste time - is necessary. Because I don't really believe that it is wasting time.

It is in those moments of moving more slowly in the world, of taking time to notice, or even of staring off into space and letting the world catch your attention with something unexpected or new or even mundane (thanks, gl!) that you might not have otherwise noticed if you weren't sitting there. Wasting time.

Or as authors dallying at the coffee cart, with the hot cup of green tea in your hands, inhaling and letting the warmth spread from your hands to your face, you smile. And you overhear a conversation between two people at the burrito cart behind you. And you know what the character in your story on the screen at your desk is going to say. You head back to it and begin to write.

Or you notice the Grocery Outlet store when you're heading home from an appointment and remember you have to buy some handy item and maybe they have it. Inside you find treasures of foods from places you've never been to, or you thought your friend had made up, or something from the place where your current work in progress takes place. You wander the shelves to see what else there is and find the jumbled products in random order and yet you're compelled to keep looking. And there is a can of ______ something. The thing your protagonist is going to make for dinner and on the back, the label has a recipe for just that thing.

And sometimes, we just have to sit. Or walk without purpose. To slow down. To let our mind rest a little and let the stories percolate while we relax. While we dally.

Dallying. It's not a waste of time. It's time spent getting ready for the next round. Dally a little and see what you might have otherwise missed. Or notice if it makes it a little easier to jump back into your writing or art, or even to get back to the less-than-creative job which pays the bills.

Meanderings : MFA

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picture from How to Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon,
one of my new favorite books, I've read it from cover to cover.
Now that I've read it, I pick it up often and open it randomly
and see what I need to know for that day.
It's not just for writers or artists.
It's about creativity.
Buy it.
You'll like it.

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This first paragraph is how I started this writing today and I'm going to leave it, as development, as an example of how meandering thoughts can lead to having something important to say. I don't have a major focus to write about at this point. Instead, some wandering thoughts - I was going to say random thoughts but they aren't random. Not really. Keep reading; I discovered a focus even though I thought I started with none. Oh, and I did come back in and add a word to the post's title to more accurately reflect the finished piece.

One piece of information is that my Bachelors Degree university is now offering an MFA in creative writing. That's really good news. I checked their website within the last year, maybe even with the last six months, and there was nothing there. One reason I checked there is that I had a really good experience, their format worked really well, and I hoped they might come up with something similar.

This is good and always makes me smile: my undergrad degree is, tada: a BS in Liberal Studies. Love that. With double minor in English:Writing and Theatre. But it was a great experience. Distance education, with some in-person of what would now be called "rigorous" 3- to 4-day classes (where there were pre-reading requirements, post-attendance assignments which were lengthy to prove that you did your homework and understood it), some online classes, even a correspondence course via regular mail, and a little bit online. It worked. My advisor was very helpful and encouraging. It was great.

Anyway - see, rambling, meandering - I checked their website and, nada. Until now. They recently were approved for the MFA in writing. And someone I would love to take a workshop with, a class with, is one of the professors.

And I was tempted.

But I've decided that right now is not the time for me to jump in. I thought I would when I saw it, even with the two week application deadline. I know I could write up two 750 word essays and find work to submit and all of that. And it would be kind of cool to be in the first cohort. And the curriculum looks good. Looks like what I want in an MFA if I do that - and I've been thinking about it for a while; I like the look of the curriculum, a lot.

Now is not the time and having the first two week residency in June - no, not a good time. I will just be at the end of a busy theater season and starting the process for scheduling the next season. I also have a summer theater workshop in the development phase and will be (hopefully) doing final preparations right at that time for the workshop. And I am on a national committee which is putting together a standard practice paper on performance interpreting - which has an early August deadline for getting the first draft written up before our national conference.

So this June - not a time to start an MFA.

I'm not ruling it out for later. Just not now.

Okay - maybe I did have a focus for this writing. The MFA.

To MFA or not to MFA, that is the question.

Short answer: not now. Long answer: maybe.

I'd like an MFA and there are factors to consider. I'll pose some of my questions and I'd love to see what others say. I know someone in an MFA program and I drool when I see her posts. And sometimes I think, whew, glad that assignment isn't mine (at least not now).

I read about the inspiration of an MFA. The community. The camraderie. The knowledge about the business of writing and publishing and, yes, networking. Confidence building (that one I really want; don't guffaw - I really could use it!). Feedback. Energy. Creative momentum. The paper which says I did it and validates that I Can Write.

I read about the negative aspects of an MFA. It's not the real world. It's sterile. It dilutes creativity and replaces it with an academic mandate or style of writing which can swallow the soul. It's too expensive. It creates a false sense of quality or expectations. It's unnecessary. It's insular and isolating (within a context of others of similar experience). It's not real world and there are other ways to write outside of academia.

Oh - and an MFA gives your permission and time To Write. For me the time is not an issue; an MFA wouldn't give me time. It would give me a Timeline and it would be one more thing in the list of things I'm doing. And that's one key for me right now : not wanting to add anything in because I feel like I've just reached a point of some relative balance and sanity in my schedule. Balance like a teeter-totter with evenly weighted ends, not flatlined.

So I did have something to say, after all.

What do you think about an MFA in writing? Is it worth the time and money? Why or why not? What is on your list of pros and cons?

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One Month In : How am I Doing?

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I set some intentions at the beginning of the year. And while I haven't forgotten that I set them, I also haven't been consciously thinking about what I said. Neither good nor bad, it just is.

Today I went on a search through earlier posts for something else. I haven't yet found what I was looking for because I got sidetracked with this idea and other things have come up. I will get back to that. But I came across my intentions and I decided to take a look at them and see how I'm kicking off this year in terms of those intentions.

Not bad.

Here is my list of 2013 intentions:

• to renew my writing schedule, including focused editing on both the novel and the memoir; 
• to find physical activities which are also fun and varied enough to fit my schedule and interests (to which I can say I am off to a great start with the new Wii, including Wii Fit with the balance board; will also include hiking when the weather is a little better, and hopefully kayaking again); 
• to maintain some true down time in my schedule (pajamas til 5pm kind of days); 
• to spend more quality time with my partner; 
• to spend more time with friends - talking, writing, hiking, creating, bicycling, eating or drinking wine, and more; 
• to be present.

I know there are still 10 days left of the first month of 2013, but I'm doing pretty well so far.

• Renew my writing schedule? Partially thanks to my new Monday writing feedback group, I am writing on a (somewhat) regular basis. We only meet in person once a month (on a Monday), but the other Mondays we submit a piece of writing to each toher which is between 10-20 pages (or under 5000 words) and we exchange feedback on the previous week's writing. Because of this, I spend at least two days writing on my work in progress (WIP) and two to three days doing feedback. I am also back on track with writing my blog posts for the theater. And, other than the theatrical blog posts, I haven't written anything from scratch - but I'll get there. Maybe in February. Okay - "writing scheduled renewed" - check. Oh, and this Saturday I'm going to a one-day writing conference.
• Physical activities which are fun and varied? Check. I'm back to the pool now that I'm over the winter illness that made the rounds, including a couple of passes through my sinuses and throat. I'm not going to the pool often (see "down time" below), but I'm going. What I AM doing is the Wii. Almost every day. I've only missed 2 days on the Wii in the past 3 1/2 weeks - and one of those days was a swimming day. I spend at least 30 minutes every day with Wii Fit Plus, and my average is 45 - 60 minutes. My top day was 3 hours - although not all at one time. And I'm having fun. The Wii Fit Plus has aerobics, balance games, yoga, strength training, and "training plus" which includes body-mind coordination, some aerobics, marching band type fun, snowball fights, skateboarding tricks (which I would never do in my 3-D life) - fun! 
• True down time. Um. Er. Well. Uh. Next month? If you read my most recent post you get the basic idea. It's a whirwind of performance interpreting right now and that's good and fun. But is not conducive to down time. No performances next month! Time to rest up and rejuvenate for March with two plays and some awesome poetry recitation. So - no. Still working on it.
• More quality time with my partner. Check! Could still use more of this - but we're working on it. We're both creative and at least partially self-employed. She is working on promoting her book, teaching art classes, art coaching, preparing for upcoming art retreats and has her therapy practice, as well. So, it's not just me. But we've had a date a week, which is an improvement. So, yes.
• Time with friends? Yes, some. Want even more, but working on that, as well and some positive change.
• Being present? Check. Yes. I'm actually doing really well on this one and it's good. Not always easy; sometimes I'd rather check out or go to the wha'-me-worry?/head-down-plow-through mode, but I don't. I am present and keep with what is happening and get through it just fine. Imagine that! And without any major anxiety issues. Yay.

So - as we near the end of the first month of 2013, I'm doing pretty well on those intentions. I'm riding a creative wave and that feels good. So rather than fuss about not having enough time for writing, I will enjoy the writing time I do have and enjoy the performance interpreting time and go with the ebb and flow of my two major creative adventures. And keep on with the Wii and increase the pool time as I can, and add in some outdoor adventures as things more in a more temperate weather direction - which is a ways off yet.

Good. Good for me.

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Friendship

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This post is dedicated to my friend, A.S.L.. To my signing friends, no, I'm not talking about the language ASL, but a person whose initials are ASL.

My friend and I met up for coffee and a snack last month. It had been a really long time since we'd gotten together and much had changed. Some of it I knew and some of it I didn't know. And all of it was fine - we've been friends for, wow, about 18 years or so. So we can go for spells of not getting together, sending random text messages or inquiries of schedules but not seeing each other. And it's all good.

We'd planned to get together last week since it was a slower work week for both of us. But life happened. Then this thing and that thing and pretty soon it was about to cross over into this week, so we decided we'd probably get together on Thursday. Which was yesterday.

And we did. After work and errands I went over to his place for a homemade dinner (yum - thank you!) and I brought a bottle of wine and a salad. We talked and ate and talked a lot, drank the wine, some coffee and moved to the other room and talked and drank the coffee and talked, and then it was later and we had a glass of port and talked and talked. And very soon it had gone from being 8 pm to being 3 am.

It felt so good to hang out with him. Eat real food. Drink wine and coffee. And talk. I've missed that.

We talked about relationships and work and film and writing and theater and children and radio and politics and so much more.

And we talked about the future.

Which may include a blog for him and I hope so. He has so much to say and I think he's worth listening to. I hope he does it; the world is listening.

A.S.L. - are you there? This one, sans graphic, took about 8 minutes. See? It is possible.

Thank you for the dinner and conversation and the candlelight.
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Radical Writing Advice: Ennui, or Give In to the Feelings

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Write every day.

Write three pages every day. A chapter. A scene. A poem or two or three. Write the crap and get it out of the way. Write whatever is there and move it through.

Just write. Keep the pen (fingers) moving across the page (screen).

Write when you don't feel like it. Don't wait for the muse. Hang in there. Keep going. Don't give up.

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All true. Yes. I agree.

But, you know, sometimes. Sometimes, a writer needs a break. Or needs a little down time.

Or maybe I"m simply projecting what I need right now. That could be, too.

Yet, I do think it's also true that writers need some time to get away. To do the thing which restores you and, while I could list activities or escapes, I also know there is not a one-size-fits-all writer's getaway. For me, a trip to the beach works wonders. One where I can walk on the sand, getting my feet wet and sandy and cold (the Pacific Ocean is not warm, for those who live in places with blue warm water), feeling the layers of warm and cold air blowing over the ocean. Or sometimes a swim gets me into a zone where thoughts flow and energy surges. Or a week in a cabin in a forest near a stream and away from the highway sounds heavenly right now.

Today I'm telling you that writers need to pause. Once in a while. Keep your good habits. Look at the ones which aren't working. Write regularly.

And stop.

Notice what you're feeling. Try dancing it out. Or painting, drawing, chalk, or charcoal. Make up a song and sing it out loud.

And stop.

Be quiet a little longer than is comfortable.

Breathe.

Relax.

Today a friend sent me this video. I saw it once before but it had completely slipped from my mind. In mid-August, this is kind of how I'm feeling. And maybe, sometimes, as writers, we need to just sit back and say, ah. Okay; let go for a little bit.

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Time Lifts the Veil

I haven't finished my writing assignment for this week, yet. But I know I will. And I have all day tomorrow to do it.

I've had three days off work; three days in a row. And three to go.

Today I slept until my charges woke me up, demanding to be fed. Which I did. Then we all went back to sleep.

I woke up a couple hours later and was hungry myself. So I got up, had oatmeal with flax, half a banana, some blueberries. Read. Read in bed with the furry kids and went back to sleep.

We all went back to sleep. Cat time - nap during the day. It was lovely. Woke up a couple or so hours later with the cats still fast asleep. I got up and showered.

I went to my favorite sushi restaurant and ate my favorite sushi food: Spinach Gomae. Afterwards I went for an hour walk, with a turnaround stop for an iced Matcha Soy Latte.

Today I feel creative. I feel the writing flow returned. And while I haven't finished the story, I know I will. And I know I will write more and the words haven't abandoned me. And I haven't abandoned them.

The foggy veil which made writing seem near impossible is gone. Like making space for this trip to be possible, I have to remember to make time for writing to happen.

Space and time equals creativity.
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Exploration

The spring/summer session of Ariel's Lit Star Training has started.

My first quick write went well. It's a hybrid piece of 8-minute writing: part memoir, part total fiction. I like it and once I started typing it went smoothly. The prompt had to do with an imaginary friend, which posed a problem. I don't remember having an imaginary friend. Ever. There was an imaginary spirit for a short time, but he was more of a messenger, not really a companion or friend. I didn't write about him, but there was an element of him in the story.

I turned in my first assignment before midnight on Sunday as instructed. Only about 20 minutes before midnight, but I did. It was not complete and it was a first draft; but I was determined to not start this session with being behind. I don't like what I wrote and it had barely started toward where I thought it would go. Part of the problem with that piece is that it was a little too raw. It was primarily memoir, but a few hybrid pieces of information tossed in from nearby times to match the assignment. A couple of years ago I discovered that sometimes I struggle to write real experiences that are too recent. No, that's not quite it, either; that are recent and intense or which were challenging in some way. This was one of those.

But I did it. I turned it in.

Now here I am with two work days left until my long awaited week off. I am so looking forward to this break from work. And yet.

I'm looking forward to meeting my feline charges (or will I be their charge?) at the end of this week. Having some time to hang out in Seattle with three cats, sleep, read, write, walk. And do a little driving, yes. I will be in Seattle and I will be far closer to my favorite sushi restaraunt, so I will have to make at least one drive to there - Blue C Sushi, the one in Fremont. Yum. I'm hoping to finish reading the memoir my partner gave me. And to finish re-reading my memoir to get a little momentum going there, as well, and get the editing and rewriting firmly under way. Oh, and to do my other Lit Star assignments.

A week off of work, a new writing group session, a few days out of town = time to explore and rejuvenate. Through writing.
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Looking Up

There have been several time related emails and posts crossing my path recently. Astrology, astrology and sexuality for all 12 signs, Mayan art and calendar. More.

Since this seems to be a topic on the minds of many in my circle of 3-D life and virtual life, I thought I'd pass a little along.

I'm not an expert. Sometimes I don't know what I believe but I'm open. Exploring. Yes, exploring is probably a better word than just being "open" to possibilities, though I am that, as well. I know a little bit about a lot of things. And I keep finding more that I know nothing about or learning more about some things which I thought I knew quite a bit but am (sometimes) excited to find that I am missing important pieces of information. And, sometimes, I find that I actually know more than I thought I knew, which is both a good feeling and a not so good feeling. The not so good feeling comes from seeking something more or something else or not trusting myself and my knowledge, skills experience. Although even that can lead to discoveries; if I'm open - see my post last week about going to hear a speaker and initially being disappointed.

All of that has nothing to do with astrology nor the Mayan calendar. Or not as far as I know, anyway.

I know a few of your eyes were attracted to the "sexuality" mention and are looking for the link. A few others of you may be thinking, oh no not that. So if you're looking for the link, here it is. The "Astrological Detective" is Andrea Gehrz, who translated and published an ancient Greek astrology text, an more. May the celestial vault shine into the bedroom! Sexual tips and tricks for all twelve signs by sexuality educator and performer Felice Shays. Hosted by Andrea L. Gehrz

Then astrologer and author Hazel Dixon-Cooper had a post which caught my attention: In Case You Were Worried. That caught my attention, so I clicked over to her website (I subscribe to her feeds). And from there I was led to the Mayan calendar story which, unexpectedly, is also about art.

And also about the fact that the Mayan calendar really isn't ending.

But I'll let you read about that yourself. It's an interesting article because of the Mayan calendar. And it's an interesting read because of the art. Read it here: Maya calendar workshop documents time beyond 2012 .

Astrology. Art. Writing.

Things are looking up.
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Rejuvenation

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Yes. I needed to be at the coast. I need to be at the coast more often.

Last week someone asked me how often I needed to be at the coast. My answer was that I didn't know, but plan to find out.

It was relaxing. Restorative. I slept and read and went online and walked, walked more, walked more at one time than I've been able to do for a while for one reason or another. And slept and sat and watched the water.

I came home last night ready to face the week. Ready to face another round of appointments and jump back into writing and asking for help instead of digging out my Wonder Woman cape again.

There are a lot of pictures I uploaded to Facebook. This is just one. One of my favorites. It was nearing sunset on the second night and it shows the Twin Rocks well, the sky, the water. It's mystical and magical. And it makes me happy to look at it.

More to come.

Today I ordered "The Mindful Writer: Noble Truths of the Writing Life," by Dinty Moore. I ran across it in a magazine I bought while I was at the coast and it looked perfect for right now. I'm looking forward to getting it.

I also ordered a Feng Shui "Good Health" jade charm thingy.

Writing and health and possibility.

I will be back at the coast with my partner in mid-May. And I may also have a day trip with a friend to the coast in May.

I think I've been missing the beach.

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Down Time Approacheth ... in theory, anyway

No, it's true. The coming two weeks are much slower in terms of work. A break long in the coming and so needed.

I was talking about this concept of "break" with an interpreting friend recently. We decided after some discussion that sign language interpreters have a different vocabularly when it comes to ideas like "down time" or having a "break" or even, in my friend's case, "semi-retirement."

I think the definition for writers is similar.

Which is to say that having a break means you have a day or two where you don't have to get up with an alarm and rush to get ready to be somewhere or turn a piece in at a specific time. I was going to say "early" in terms of getting up or being at work or turning in a project. But that is subjective. For me, 9 AM is early; for two of my good friends, 9 AM is lunch break time or sleeping in. So the exact time doesn't matter. I think the time doesn't matter - it's being able to sleep until your body says "satisfied!" and you wake up and feel rested and restored.

It also may mean that a "day off" is 'only' interpreting a play. Or having a story due at midnight and you're half done so you can, say, for example, check Facebook and write a blog post.

*wink*

It may also mean, as an interpreter and a writer that a break in either area is filled by the other. So it's a break-no-break. Or maybe a break-from-the-dominant-norm. That's it. I think.

So. For me. Right now. Here is my "break" definition:
* I'm not teaching for 3 weeks.
..... I posted students' grades last night; no more grading for 3 weeks
..... I've contacted potential internship sites this week. Will resume placement work January 2nd.
* I'm only working 3 days each of the next 2 weeks, with 4 days off.
* Writing? No break! Hurray. I signed up for Ariel's Winter Writing Intensive: 12 new stories in 14 days, and giving feedback.

So, like I mentioned ... a "break" in interpreting work is being taken over by writing. As it should be. And those four days a week off, I can be writing at home in my pajamas until 8 PM if I want, or bundle up in layers to walk in the cold December sun to the local coffee shop with my laptop (or notebook and pen if I really want to rebel). Or I can sleep. Wake up. Go for a swim or a walk. And write at my leisure - as long as I get the assignment and feedback done within the day.

This is a good break. My mind and my body are happy with this decision. Writing because I want to. Writing more because I can.

In that week before the next term starts, I will have to add back in my teaching duties. And the Intensive will be over but there will be a Wayward Writers assignment. And when the Wayward assignment is done, I will be starting a writing journey with Inga Muscio and her process of "decerebralization" for writing. Awesome.

Some people have smiled when I've talked about my winter "break." Some nod knowingly.

What I know in this moment is that I feel happy. And I have a rough draft of today's Intensive writing done - except it's not the assignment! It's the background story to the story I was planning to write and it's already 15 words over the limit.

Oh! I know - I will use this background story toward this week's Wayward Writers assignment and pull pieces of it as memory blips when I get to the actual Intensive story. Yes. That's it. It really does fit for both assignments - the backstory I've written, with additional information, is about the regular assignment prompt; and I guess I needed to get this out to find my way to the Intensive story I wanted to write.

I love the creative process. And I love it so much more when I have the mental and emotional space to explore and let it develop.

Breathing. Right now I'm grateful for time and space and breath.
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Being Handed Some Time

I do not recommend this method of being handed some time: develop a serious health condition, go to the Emergency Room, be hospitalized and taken off work for a week, and have to cancel friends and personal appointments. Confined to minimal activity; no driving for a couple of days. Check-ins for health monitoring.

No - I do not recommend this course of action to see what you can do with more time.

But, it's what happened.

No worries - except for this specific health condition, I am very healthy! Healthy heart, lungs, blood pressure, oxygen level, blood sugar, etc. I just have this condition. And it's being treated.

And I was given the warning that I have to listen to my body and not over-exert myself. Doing that forces my heart to work too hard and that can cause damage. So, I do little bits. I listen. I rest. I do a little more. I rest. I rest and breathe a lot. I don't overdo. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do "don't overdo" well; but I don't really have a choice right now.

So - time on my hands. To sleep. To nap. To visit with a friend who came a-calling on Sunday - we had a nice chat for a couple hours or so. To talk with a friend on the phone today for a while - something we rarely do or only in very short Q&A schedule arranging/meeting up kinds of ways. To answer emails with more thought after thoroughly reading them in the first place *wink.* To finish up watching the train wreck known as LOST which became ludicrous but I had to see how they ended the mess. To discover a whole new season of "Lie To Me" on streaming Netflix, interspersed with short silly episodes of "30 Rock." To write. And write some more. To complete my assignment for Ariel's Literary Kitchen yesterday. Then today to be able to complete my feedback in a timely manner instead of on the day before the next assignment is due.

Time.

Sleep and napping.

Eating thoughtfully and well and unhurried.

Reading. Writing.

At rest.

I need to do this before there's a crisis next time.

It's kind of amazing how much I've been able to do in terms of catching up on my writing with having mandated down time. And no worries, I haven't sacrificed naps to write - I have nothing but time to do it in right now.
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Razor's Edge for 8/26/11

Today's prompt is a trip back in time.

Think back to when you were 25 years old. If you're not yet 25, then use a parent's 25th year, or uncle or aunt - or an older friend. Or, if you'd like, think ahead to when you will be 25.

Go to Google or Yahoo or whatever your favorite search engine is and put in that year, the city in which you were living (or would like to be living if you are future casting) and pick a month.

See what the top news stories were at that time. Pick one and write a story in which the news event has a role. Where might you have been? What colors do you see? What smells are in the air - the rain on hot pavement, electricity of lightning crackling through the spring air, dry hay, pork fat on the neighbor's barbecue grill? Who were you with? What were you doing?

Give yourself a couple minutes to find the event and have an image come to you - then write for 10 minutes. 

Floating Down The Lazy River

 I was thinking about what I wanted to say in this post.

I recently wrote about a time of transition. And I was thinking that during this time, I've had to make some difficult decisions - choosing between things I like and want, letting go of some, making different choices than I may have in the past because it feels like the right decision now.

And as this short summer tutoring class I've been teaching comes to a close, and as I begin the final review of this draft of the memoir before sending it on to my mentor for editing, and it's at the end of August where everything slows around here until the early fall ramp-up next month - I have this sense of, well, almost a lull.

It is not the lull of going to sleep. Or the lull of inactivity. Or the lull of boredom.


That is what got me to thinking about rivers. I miss being on the river. This past season, I withdrew from dragon boat racing due to time conflicts, which included completing the memoir and the novel. I put the novel on hold while I focused on the memoir. Then I pretty much put short story writing on hold until I finished the memoir. Now that I am at the final keystrokes of the memoir, I am missing the river even more. I haven't even been able to take time to go out in a kayak. (Yes, fall can be a beautiful time to be on the river in a kayak and I do have hope that I will get in some lake/stillwater kayaking before the season gets too cold for me.)



Columbia River (photo by Dot.)



I thought about writing. About endings and transitions. About times of change and my title phrase about "lazy river" popped into my head.

That thought was immediately followed by the thought that rivers are anything but lazy. Their surfaces may look meandering and calm, ripples flowing over each other, leaves and twigs being carried along, not in a hurry - soothing to sit on the banks and let your gaze quiet.

Rivers are pathways from here to there. Under the surface rocks tumble and move, rub and erode and crack, trap and release. Life lives in the river - fish, bugs, plants. Water temperatures change, affected by weather and snow melts far away in the mountain range, by the sun and the wind -  the surface temperature and the deep temperature vary. Sometimes the water is smooth over rocks or choppy over rocks, speeds fast or slow. Rivers are always moving. Rivers are always incubating life, percolating change, are an agent of change.

Rivers are anything but lazy.

Like now. My river of transition. Calm on the surface, not a lot of action visible - flowing, shifting. This is going from here to there - fuel for the next creative outpouring. I am floating in the current for a brief time, to soak in the accomplishments, rejuvenate my spirit, to restore that gently rocking balance in preparation for the next stage. While underneath the surface the ideas continue to grow, the senses adapt and change, excitement builds toward the possibilities of what could be ahead.

Calm and lazy are not the same.
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