Returning to the Up Position of the Seesaw

photo from Seesaw of Life - a nice article about failure and success

Writing - and I think creating, in general - is a seesaw ride for some of us.

Or we think it is.

I do, at least.

Today I feel I'm back on the upswing. Yesterday I was holding onto the edge of the dark pit, slipping and yet not letting myself fall, wondering if I could haul my ass out one more time. Wondering if this in and out, up and down - the excited energy of new ideas, then the plummet of self-doubt with or without external ignition - will ever end. Thinking, no, it won't, so what's the use of trying.

Except I do try.

I return to the things I love and I don't give up. The time between the flow of creativity, the sagging lack of confidence or lack of sleep or lack or validation, and the return to writing is shortened; sometimes hours or maybe a day or two. No longer weeks or months of wondering, waiting, trying to ignore the sense that maybe this time writing or theater or art-making and I won't find our way back together.

But I do find the path.

And today I know that this is a cycle.

That periods of not writing don't mean I'm not writing - what I mean is that I'm not putting the words on a page. Paper or computer screen it doesn't matter. If I'm still thinking and open to what surrounds me and ideas are being sparked, then I'm in the process of writing. And rewriting and editing is writing.

I think this lift of the creative teeter totter I've found that little bounce as my butt hits the ground and I rebound into the air, with creativity intact. And realize I've only dipped; not lost.

It's good to be airborne again. To have words back in my pocket and on my screen.

Thank you to writing partners and writing group members and friends. And my partner and Pamela and Bonnie. And all of the other people in my life who help keep me moving forward and help me remember that I can and I am.

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The Next Big Thing Authors' Blog Hop

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“The Next Big Thing Blog Hop” was created by writer and poet Zoe Brooks in August 2012 on She Writes
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What is the working title of your book?

"Out of the Frying Pan." This is only the working title and has been since the project came into being. I am doing major revisions so have not landed on the actual title yet.

Where did the idea come from for the book?It emerged from several writing exercises in weekend intensives and online workshops with Ariel Gore in The Literary Kitchen. As the stories started to appear on the page before me, I realized there was a book in there somewhere!

What genre does your book fall under?

Memoir - creative non-fiction.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I don't have actors in mind for the movie rendition of this story. But I do know who I would want to direct the movie : Jane Campion. I would trust her decision in choosing the actors best suited for the characters and the story. I don't think there would be a role for Holly Hunter, but I could be wrong. Wait! I take that back - I can think of one. But I will leave it up to Jane Campion.

What is a one-sentence synopsis of your book?

This is the story of how a young woman learns to open her own doors, and by the end, she also knows how to close them.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

That is yet to be decided. I would love for a publisher to pick it up and I have a handful I'd like to reach out to. But I'm open to the possibility of self-publishing. I know that memoir can be a hard genre to jump into in terms of traditional publishing.

How long did it take to write the first draft of your manuscript?

The first draft? That's hard to say what constitutes the "first draft." If I look at when I thought I had the 1st first draft done, I'd say about two years from first story to everything ordered and written and in a binder. But then when I had an actual first draft, ready to give the whole manuscript over to someone for editing feedback on the piece as a whole? I'd say it was nearly three years. Now, I have new insights, with some exciting changes which are going to make it sing, so the fourth or so draft is on its way. But the first draft, the real first draft, was nearly three years in the writing.

Who, or what, inspired you to write this book?

Ariel Gore. Blame her. I do, with a smile. Ariel and the various other Wayward Writers and The Attic workshop participants, and other writing partners and critique group members who have inspired me, given feedback, shared their own work. And Lidia Yuknavitch, who helped me find the missing key for this book. Also Bonnie Hearn Hill, who encouraged and supported my writer self, even during the years we lost contact. To be completely honest, I didn't set out to write a memoir. I was writing short stories and some poetry; I'd written for newsletters, some articles, other non-fiction. My intent was a novel (and I do have one of those in the works, too). But the memoir was born of its own insistence and it's nearing its release into the world.


What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?

This is a story about putting one foot in front of the other to get through each day, each stage of life, each change. Of pretending you know what you're doing but making it up as you go. It's about trusting those who say they care even when it hurts, even when it's a lie, even when you know it's a lie. It's about being the tallest girl in school, with ringlet curly red hair, glasses and freckles, who likes to write, until you can't. Until even you are telling lies. It's a story about growing into a woman who thinks she's escaped but finds herself feeling eerily similar to what she left. It's about finding the door to get out.

painting by Serena Barton

You can read one chapter, The Shotgun and the Peacock Feather, which was recently posted on The Literary Kitchen.

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Thank you to Jenna Zine for tagging me for "The Next Big Thing!"

Up next in this line will be Deb Scott and Rooze Garcia (links to come later) - and maybe a couple of other authors I've contacted to tell us about their recent or upcoming projects!
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Breaking Through

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This was day one of a two day workshop with Lidia Yuknavitch. Her presence and her prompts and her encouragement are infectious. My writing is busting open a bit and my challenge will be to carry it with me. To continue.

I'm not ready to share any details at this point, but I think I have an inroad to where I've been stuck on the memoir. That has been my focus for this weekend so far (for me), although we've talked about fiction, as well - and poetry. I'm not feeling too stuck with the novel, except in terms of time and that is probably an easier solution than the blocks and blinds of the memoir.

Then tonight we got to hear Lidia speak and read at the bookstore which put on the workshop. Again, amazing. Her stories - to listen to her read her powerful words brings them even more to life. She is a strong writer, a strong personality, with stories to tell and I'm glad she has her voice. I'm glad I've had this opportunity to do this workshop with her. 

I feel lucky right now to have met several powerful writers and have had the opportunity to study with them, to be inspired by them, to be in their presence. (Lidia, Ariel, Bonnie; all of the Wayward Writers in the Literary Kitchen and the writers in this weekend workshop.)

And now, back to my homework: finish revising one piece I wrote to day to take to class tomorrow morning. Then more goodness and writing with Lidia - and all of the other amazing writers in the room. This is a powerhouse of written word who have come together.

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A Story in Pictures : Travel Ahead

Not too long to wait now. Soon I will be traveling to California for a few days off; almost a week. The purpose of the trip, as I've mentioned before, started with seeing Philip Glass' "Einstein on the Beach" in Berkeley. The length of the trip was set, but the details have expanded and changed. Now I will be visiting Bonnie Hearn Hill and her writing group one day, then to Berkeley and "Einstein...", followed by Olympia Dukakis in "Elektra" at A.C.T. in San Francisco the following day, and then a day of rest before. I return home.

Radical Writing Advice

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I have stacks and shelves and magazines and files and, now, e-documents (books, articles, links, bookmarks, blogs, quotes) of advice for writers. I've been to some writers' conferences and writing workshops and have been (still am) in writing groups. My first Associate's degree was Liberal Studies with a focus in Journalism/English. My second two-year degree was in Sign Language Interpreting - so it doesn't really relate to writing; well, maybe it does if you look at it as a communications and linguistic degree. Then I went for a BS (I love that!) degree in Liberal Studies, with emphasis in Writing and Theater. I've written for newsletters, edited newsletters, had some poetry published, a few short stories and essays, and some flash fiction - including an ultimate short fiction of only 50 words. I also have a creative nonfiction/memoir in revision and a novel in revision.

My point is, I have many resources, education, and experience in writing. In what it takes to be a writer.

So I can say with confidence that I do have advice for other writers.

Right now, if you only listen to me about one thing, listen to this:

Find what works for You.

That's it.

I have read articles and listened to successful authors tell me that I must write daily and blog frequently in order to be successful. I've been told that writing is a solitary act and one must have expansive time alone in order to write. I've been told that a real author's books are picked up by agents who convince publishers to print them. I've been told that setting aside specific writing time is the way to go and daily writing becomes dry and habitual, uninspired. I recently have been reading that frequent blogging is not a good idea; it overwhelms or saturates your audience : slow day, pace it, spread it out. I've read or heard that writing in community is the most beneficial; keeps the words alive.

Finish the book before you pitch. Only finish the first few chapters before you pitch, don't waste your time. Contact an agent with a proposal, then write the article. Only send queries on what you know. Query about things you're interested in but don't necessarily know a lot about, but can research.

Write what you know. Don't reveal too much about yourself. Be honest. Don't lie. Make it up if you have to. Tell the truth. Fictionalize to make it engaging.

I am not saying there isn't good advice out there. There is. And there is a lot of it. What I am saying is that there is a lot of conflicting advice out there.

If you want to get published by one of the Big Six (or however many are left now), then look into what they require. Who has the connections to get you into their doors. And do it.

If you want to write memoir: read a few. See who you like. And by "like" I don't mean just to click "like" in Google+ or on Facebook or whatever social networking tools/sites you use. I mean to check out some styles of writing, content in their stories, read their articles or blogs. Read what they do and read others who read or follow them. Where do they publish? Who works with them? Read what those authors say about writing memoir.

If you are more into small presses, read some. Find an independent bookstore or a local coffee shop with zines and related material. What is there? Who publishes it? Where are they? Read them. Read about them.

If you want to do freelance writing, poke around in different publications you're interested in writing for or which you read regularly or support. Who is writing for them? What do they have to say about publication as a freelance writer? Where are their blogs or books of syndicated articles?

Find what you like. Read it. Read about it. Read about who writes it. Read the writing of those who write it or publish it or represent it.

I believe that this is how you will be a successful writer. You are your best tool. If you need to polish up your grammar, do it. If you need to enlarge your vocabulary, register for a class or find language partners and work together. If you want to write a mystery about the desert but you live where it's cloudy + rainy + green 350 days of the year, take a couple weeks off or 5 days and take a trip; experience the dry the heat the golden landscape. If you want to be indie published, find the zines and the books and read them, find the authors, look at the variety of publications. If you like to write rants and raves and vent your opinion, find bloggers with similar styles; subscribe to them; read them; contact them.

If you try to mimic someone who is not like you, it may fail. It will probably be hard. Part of you may rebel and you won't enjoy it and you may quit.

Don't quit. Look at your options. Have a sit-down meeting with yourself to see what is in your heart. Do that. Follow your heart. You writer's heart.

Trust your writer's heart.

If you're the next Stephen King, then read what he has to say about writing. I am not the next Stephen King, but I do recommend his book, "On Writing." It is one of my all-time favorite books on writing.

If your writing style is like Ariel Gore, the ultimate hip mama rebel writer, then read her book "How to be a Famous Writer Before You're Dead." Again, I recommend reading it anyway, for pretty much anyone. Definitely recommend to the indie-leaning writer. And you can check out her Literary Kitchen class offerings: online and in person.

More spiritual or zen-like? Try Natalie Goldberg or Dosho Port. Definitely listen to "Zen Howl," which is only available on CD and is by both Natalie Goldberg and Dosho Port. For general spiritual writing in the Buddhist direction, read some Pema Chodron. Or read that just to help calm and give perspective on life.

Speaking of Zen, I recently read Dinty Moore's new book, "The Mindful Writer." Great nuggets of useful information, insight in there.

A poet? Try Judith Barrington, who also has a book on writing memoir.

Spoken word? Look up Queen Juliana, Juliana Luecking. She's in New York and has some great videos up on YouTube and Vimeo and some pieces on CD.

Looking for some editing and publication preparation information? I recommend Jessica Page Morrell. She has some great books and a blog. And she presents workshops.

Bonnie Hearn Hill (who has a great YA series, StarCrossed, as well as numerous mysteries worth reading) has books on a number of writing issues and recently co-authored a book on e-publishing, which can be found for the Kindle or cloud reading on Amazon.

I could give you a long list. But why? Look around at who you like. Who speaks to you as a reader. Read them. Read what they say about writing. Read what others say about them. Read editors, agents. Find their blogs. Find small presses blogs and websites. Take a class on letterpress (IPRC if you're local has some great classes and an certificate program with a fast approaching deadline) or publishing software.

Look around.

Find what you like.

Look inward.

Find what you like.

And do it.

Again, one simple rule:

Find what works for You.

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Happy Birthday, Virginia Woolf - Jan. 25th

Virginia Woolf

Born Adeline Virginia Stephens

1882-1941

There are numerous websites and books and articles about Virginia Woolf. Her contribution to literature, to feminism, to the desire for time and space for women writers. I'll let you look that up on your own.

Instead, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to some of the women writers I've written with and been inspired by and received feedback from over the years. And I'm not talking about dead ones, because there are many of them; or the ones I've only read their works but never met ... but I am talking about the ones I've actually met in this life.

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For my current proliferation of writing, the accumulation of short stories and the completed memoir/creative nonfiction (now in editing mode), as well as increased confidence and a stronger voice, a big thank you to Ariel Gore. She is one bad ass writer and she is an outstanding instructor, facilitator, with incredible feedback and editing skills. Thank you for the inspirations and prompts and years of being an excellent role model, writer, and friend.

For unconditional support and belief in me as a writer, Bonnie Hearn Hill. Also a great writer with some great series and individual books, as well as years of experience. Thank you for being there, Bonnie, and reconnecting. And for taking the long train ride to Stockton and our unintentional walk through the wild side of town.

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As I begin writing this, I realize the list is long, There are some whom I know primarily through their writing, but had an occasion or two to take a workshop with - such as Natalie Goldberg - and to hear them read, as well - such as Judith Barrington.

There are organizers, trainers, and facilitators I've worked with in other capacities. Such as the women at Write Around Portland - Dawn, Beth, Robyn, Sara - some of whom have moved on to other projects or organizations; they were all inspiration to writing in community and opening up the definition of community - giving access to anyone with a desire to write. All excellent role models for becoming a better facilitator and giving feedback. As well as each of them being a skilled writer in her own right.

There are and have been some incredible writers in the Literary Kitchen over the years I've been doing the online writing classes/workshops - and the in-person versions, as well. So many women - and men - in the Kitchen that I can't possibly name them all and know I'd forget some people if I even tried. Some of the other Wayward Writers are local - and we've had face-to-face writing time. Everyone in the Kitchen and the Facebook lounge - awesome. And Inga Muscio who is currently pushing us in new directions in our writing in a special Literary Kitchen "Decerebralization" online class. Thank you.

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Just thank you. For being you. For being a writer. For being there with and for other writers.
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First Book Rejection

I've gotten comfortable with rejections - if that's possible. Rejections of short stories, essays, non-fiction. I've had some submissions accepted and that's great; my most recent was a couple months ago I had a 50-word ultra flash fiction story called "The Watcher" published in BlinkInk.  And I know the life of the writer is more rejections than acceptances.

I really am getting used to it.

But today I received my first book rejection on the memoir. It wasn't a rejection in terms of a publisher or editor - but the contest I submitted 119 pages of the book to in June sent a very friendly "thanks for submitting but we didn't choose you" type of email. I had a feeling last week that I wouldn't be selected.

And I will admit I was a little disappointed. It would have been an amazing opportunity. But it didn't happen and. Okay.

It's the same book I will be meeting about with Ariel for her editing and feedback next week. Followed by making the edits. And then passing it along to Bonnie Hearn Hill if she has time in her busy writing life.

But, for the moment, I need to just take a moment to say it was sad. And I know it will get easier as the rejections pile up for books. I also know the contest had many submissions. But, the first of this kind. Now, on to looking for more potential publishers.
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"Ghost Island" by Bonnie Hearn Hill

Bonnie Hearn Hill's newest YA novel, "Ghost Island," debuts today. Below is a trailer for Bonnie's newest publication.

Congratulations, Bonnie!




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Razor's Edge for Friday 7/22/11

For today's prompt, I'm going to redirect you to Bonnie Hearn Hill's blog. She wrote a wonderful post about developing your characters, which came from a recent workshop she facilitate.

If you have a piece you're already working on, read through Bonnie's essay and follow her instructions for a character in your current writing. It may be a character who seems a little two dimensional or perhaps you're having a hard time pinning down just who they are. Or it may be a character who is rarely in the story but needs a little filling out.

Or this may be a character who is not yet assigned to a story. Pick a character or let her come to you, and write following Bonnie's instructions.

Characters. Is it really as complex as we sometimes make it out to be?

It's Nice to Have Mentors

I posted an update on Facebook while I was at the coast. Which led to an appropriately short but gem producing discussion.

The gem came from a mentor - an experienced and skilled (an published writer).

I just wanted to share pieces of the conversation (edited down just a bit):

me: sometimes it's hard to keep telling the story my way - especially as I'm in the final edits of getting 25k-28k ready for a book contest. sometimes I think this is a dumb way to tell it; that I need to structure it a certain way. then I come back to myself, remembering this is *my* story. and they'll pick it or not. I don't want to write a formula book. I want to write it real and well. and what a win it would be!

friend AR: Win or not win, writing real and well is a triumph.

me: so true, A

mentor BHH: Trust that inner voice. And don't edit while you write. Just write.

me: thanks

BHH: You know how to do this. If you need me to look at anything, let me be the naggy editor voice, not you.

me: I'd appreciate another set of eyes on the part I'm going to submit. I have the basic chapters written. Over time, which means changes in voice and quality, of course - but also means there are different tenses... 

friend E: be true to yourself!! :o) ♥

BHH: Your questions are left brain. Just write the story. I'll help you with the organization. I'm excited too. Love what I saw of it.

I needed this conversation. I had an "ah ha" moment when I read "your questions are left brain." Yes. They are. A time and place, for sure. But for now, focus on the story.

And I do know how to do this. I'm beginning to see where I get myself trapped as editor while I'm still being the writer. Or at least I am at this moment. Not always - but recently.

Thank you, friends and mentor, for these words. I've made great progress since you said these things.
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Movement Creates Momentum

The good news [and there is no bad news to follow it!] is that I seem to have picked up some momentum on my memoir. It seems that my decision to focus on completing one book at a time was the correct one. And trying to zoom in on a completion date for the one was a good idea (thank you, Bonnie Hearn Hill!). And printing out the drafts at various stages of completion so I have the whole thing in my hands.

All good ideas.

Oh, and joining this spring round of the Wayward Writers in Ariel Gore's Literary Kitchen - with the intent to focus my writing on missing pieces of the memoir.

Yes.

All of that.

Good ideas.

Because the ideas are flowing, the pieces are coming together, the editing of some of it is going awesomely (I know that's not a word).

Yes. I have found (created?) a momentum.
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I'm Pressing the Reset Button

As the college term comes to an end, I have the opportunity - again - to build more writing time back into my schedule.

Let me correct myself already: to build in more editing and revision time. I actually have done well with my writing time. I have continued to meet with Deb once or twice a week when she comes into town; and I've pretty consistently met with Jenny to write once a week. Plus I've had other writing time on my own and the three of us did have another long day of writing together. So I've been writing, doing the quick writes and assignments for my online group/class, and doing feedback on the assignments (though I did fall off feedback on the quickwrites near the end). Writing has continued - editing stalled.

I have a big freelance interpreting job on Saturday which requires a lot of preparation (it's the statewide poetry recitation competition), after which I will have final journals and assignments to grade for the students in my classes. After that - more time for editing. And I will make it happen. I'm only teaching one internship course next term, so that will open up time. And I have only one play. So I think this will happen.

Although I am considering doing Script Frenzy in April. With the awareness that I write more and generate more ideas when I'm writing more. Sound like a circle of reasoning? It is - and it's true. I actually am more creative and productive during NaNoWriMo than other parts of the year, even though I was also doing the online group, teaching, doing my regular interpreting work -- I wrote more and had more ideas when I was also writing the 50,000+ word novel in 30 days!

Go figure.

And I am. I will not give up on me nor give in to my frustration that my editing has gone slower than I hoped. As I recently told Bonnie in an email - I did make progress. So that counts and that's what is important. I'll set a new goal - and should probably set myself a timeline to get the next draft done; I do well with deadlines!
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Full Moon, Full Lunar Eclipse

Oh, I bet this is beautiful. I am using my imagination because it is pouring down rain. An hour ago we had a clearing and I hoped that I would be able to see at least part of this event.

But it's not to be.

All for the best, I suppose, since I should go to sleep.

I will use my imagination and tomorrow I will use my laptop or my partner's computer to search for pictures. There will be some online, I'm sure.

Happy viewing to those in areas not clouded over, those not being drenched in rain or in the quiet whiteness of snow. For me, maybe next time.

All is well.

The solstice is soon. And the season will change as the moon returns and as I sleep.

For now I will take to bed with a cup of herbal tea and "Cutline" by Bonnie Hearn Hill. This is an excellent book that I had to set aside for NaNoWriMo, then for the play, then for the end of the term grading. But now - I'm reading it every chance I get and it's a great read. I have the two other books in this series by my bed, waiting to be read.

Bed, tea, book.

Lovely.
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where to focus

Not a new question for me - but here it is, again: where do I focus my time?
 

from pete laburn's blog

The working and the working out and the writing - how does it all fit into my life? Within each area I also have questions, but I have to start with the basics - the question of time. Oh, and sleep. Always sleep.

I want to spend more time writing. Partly because I want to get the novel revision done, and the memoir, and I have stories to submit. And I want to write more stories. I love to write. I'm not as comfortable with the editing and revision process of the longer works - but I think I will be in time. Time. That word again.

Time. I know money doesn't buy happiness, but it could buy some time. As in, pay the mortgage and the other necessities of life. That's where my profession comes in. Don't get me wrong - I still like what I do; but it's not writing. Right now the scales are tipped more in the direction of work for several reasons - the mortgage being one, of course. Right now I don't have money comng in from my writing (although I've had a few things published and that's good). So I have to work more than I'd ideally like.



Then there's the working out and physical activities. My back is better, although not back to problem-free. But better. Last weekend I bought another pair of shoes which I hope will help, too. I might even get a chance to go out an walk tomorrow for two or three miles to test them out; I'm holding out hope for that - the weather to hold and the shoes to be part of the solution. I still won't do the Portland Half Marathon; I'm not trained and I know my back is not up to that. But I did meet with a good friend and sometimes workout/hiking buddy and we may do a spring half marathon together. That would be great. The dragon boat weekly off-season paddling has ended, so I don't have dragon boat practice until January when we start back in with two nights a week until May, when we go to three nights a week.



Writing. Working out/physical activity. Working.

I also have to remember that I'm just settling into a new schedule. These last couple weeks have been rough, with the last of my old schedule and the beginning of the new one overlapping, not quite meshing. It's better and will soon be smooth sailing - just long enough to get settled a bit before NaNoWriMo begins.



And I didn't even mention the long weekend trip to San Francisco. Which was great. I caught up on sleep. I rested. I wrote. And I met with Bonnie Hearn Hill. I'll save that story for its own post - but will say that I had a great time with her, even though it was short. I hope to be able to spend more time with her and it was inspirational and didn't feel like it had been as long as it has since we last saw each other.

I've been quiet with my posts. Contemplating. Waiting. Wondering.

I think something is brewing!

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not a book review: The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide

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"Urban Petroglyph" by Dot Hearn. From the Neighborhood Scavenger Hunt collection.

Yesterday I received a book in the mail from a friend. She ended up with an extra copy and wanted to share her spare - which I greatly appreciate. She and I have never met in person; we met through an online writing workshop a couple years ago - Ariel Gore's Lit Star Training for Wayward Writers. We also discovered that we are in the same pay-the-bills profession. Then later, that we both work part-time for the same company, in addition to the post-secondary and freelance work we do. Our small world grew smaller - although we still live nearly 2000 miles apart.

The book she sent me is, "The Writing & Critique Group Survival Guide" by Becky Levine. I have a stack of writing books - truly a stack - ranging from the traditional and new style & grammar guides, several perspectives on writing memoir (including Judith Barrington & Natalie Goldberg), general writing advice (Ariel Gore, Peter Brooks, 826, Sage Cohen), publishing (Bonnie Hearn HIll, Gotham Writers), and so on. Some partially read, some completely unread as of yet, a few completed. I thought I'd take a quick glance through the book and then add it to the 'nuts and bolts' section of my pile. (See, my bookshelves are all full. Yes, all of them - there are bookshelves in every room of the house except the bathrooms - and they are all full.)

I had an appointment this morning, after which I planned a treat of Morroccan Oatmeal and a latte afterwards at a nearby restaurant. So I took the new book with me for glancing. Much to my delight and surprise, I'm a couple chapters into the book. And I did not put it on my pile when I returned home to change and get ready for work; I put it in my take-to-work bag. I am already mulling over information from the beginning of the book and it is building on an idea I had last week about setting up a manuscript/book-length project group (which may start with 2 or 3 people).

It looks like my latest addition will be one of the "done" books before too long. I haven't read enough to give a review - but in my fast-paced life, I think it is a good testament that it's my carry-with-me book and that the author hooked me in right away.

Thank you, Christi, for sending me the book. Thank you, Becky, for writing the book!
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Re-entry

I wasn't planning to take a week off of The Writing Vein. But I found myself going non-stop from the morning of Tuesday, August 3rd until, well, right now - nearly 2:30 AM on Monday - no, make that Tuesday, August 16th. I attempted to keep a few things going with posting some writing events and contests that caught my attention. I made a few posts throughout the Willamette Writers Conference - where I was volunteering and attending. I was also doing interpreitng work at that same time. And all of that ran into me going out of town for three days to the Oregon Star Party - a five-hour drive each direction. Out to Indian Trail Spring in the middle of the Ochoco Forest, without my computer and with weak cell phone service (most people had none) and a car charger that died on the drive out. I think the dead charger was the universe telling me to unplug for a couple of days! I turned my Blackberry off except for a couple of quick text messages to home and a couple of urgent theater related emails.

And I didn't mean to just drop out of site. But I did.

Now I'm back. With some quick writes done, a couple of writing assignments completed and submitted to my writing group/class/workshop. And working on translations and preparation for interpreting ZZ Top on the 27th and Lynyrd Skynyrd on the 3rd - creative and time consuming.

In thinking about this post, I realized I didn't know where to begin. There is so much left undiscussed here that I have done in the last couple of months. So I started with why the recent gap happened. And I will add in more details about adventures later. They are all good and mostly "big": my dragon boat team taking 3rd place in our division, rafting the Grand Canyon for 8 days; cutting our team time by 76 minutes in the Cascade Lakes Relay and having an average pace of only 3/100ths of a second slower than the next team ahead of us. Then there were the other great events, though probably of less magnitude in terms of impact on my life: the Willamette Writers' Conference and the Oregon Star Party.

And I'm working on the novel again. I rescheduled the writing road trip for me memoir due to weather and that the original trip was early December and not the middle of August - although I won't be making the drive in December since we may hit snow and ice. Being back in the writing group is helping get me get writing back up my priority list, again - it was always there but time was short. Now, it's back up there where time is made for it; the big adventures are done.

With all of this will be a return to more regular posts. Also - keep your eyes on the posts over the next couple of months. I have plans for some changes and things are in the works. Part of it depends on the asisstance of other people, so I won't say anything more for now. I will share a picture I found online from last year's Oregon Star Party. I have a few pictures I took, which I will share later. The picture below is from douggro.com - it shows only one small section of several little hills where this scene was repeated over and over. Hot during the day, chilly at night - and an incredible, amazing view of the stars and - my reason for going - the Perseid Meteor showers.

It was also the perfect venue to finally get to read the second installment of the Star Crossed series, Taurus Eyes, by Bonnie Hearn Hill. It was a wonderful read and I can't wait for the third book in a couple months.

Razor's Edge 6/18/10

This is the day for the Razor's Edge. Instead of prompts, I'm going to share a story. A true story - but a story, still. The theme of this post is, Contradictions. How sometimes we have to take what is and look ahead and move on, even though it seems like we might want to pause. Or, at least I do.

This is another example of what Pamela calls, Resiliency.

I'm working on it.


Behind me here in the cafe, at the tall faux marble table along the inside wall, are two students studying their Chinese medicine. At first I wasn't sure what they were doing - talking about swollen lips and, by their description, it may have been a human specimen or a car or some unknown piece of machinery. But now they have moved on to talking about stagnant Chi and I know. It's Chinese medicine - and they are probably acupuncture students from the school out a couple miles, just past where I live. They've come here, a little further in toward downtown, to escape the other students that are crammed in the cafe just up the street from my house.

Stagnant Chi. That's what I'm trying to avoid by moving forward with this Oregon Literary Fellowship application.

See, today I found out that another submitted story was rejected. This is the life of the writer. Keep the stories going out and wait to see what happens, which is very often rejection. I'm not sure right now when the balance starts to tip so that there might be more acceptances than rejections, but, like visual artists, writers have to be able to take the rejections, which are numerous. For most of us. And victories are to be cherished and worn as badges of honor - such as honorable mentions, like my writing friend Christi just received from Glimmer Train. A big congratulations to her and I hope she holds that Honorable Mention high, like the Olympic torch, and lets it light her days and nights.

So another of my stories was rejected. And I have to have the Oregon Literary Fellowships (OLF) application in by next Friday, if I'm going to do it. I've wondered whether to try or not. One friend told me it was very difficult to get and very few are selected and it was way too much work. He applied once, years ago, and it was not worth the effort, he thought. Another friend who has read a lot of my work encouraged me to do it. And I first heard about it from a published writer who thought I might want to give it a shot (my words, not hers). And I asked another published writer-friend-mentor for advice and, while she doesn't know anyone who has ever won one so she doesn't have any specific advice, she said it would be good to try and gave me some advice about the submission from an editor/judge-of-a-different-residency experience standpoint.

And here I am in the cafe with the women studying about Chi and sad about my piece not being published and looking at the two sets of poems and two personal essays and one more short story that are out there being considered. And I just finished pasting and editing my writing sample submission for the OLF into a new document. I will read it aloud later to find places where more tightening or other editing is required. I made more notes for the questions I have to answer.

And I will submit. I will give it a try even though part of me is in that post-rejection what's-it-all-for-anyway-no-one-will-pick-me mood. I am resilient and I will keep on trying.

As my writer-friend-mentor who moved away to Santa Fe said, "I don't think there is any harm in applying. It is a lot of work, but I think sometimes the process helps clarify a project and gives us a deadline for the story rewrites. I think you have as good a chance as anyone." She's right. So far this has helped me come up with an intent for my writing, something I've been unable to put into words. Until now.

Reject. Reflect. Rewrite.

Submit.

Ah, the life of a writer!

What are two or three of your contradictions right now? Go: write!

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Star Crossed series book two is out

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I'm not sure if Bonnie Hearn Hill is going to be able to stop by on her blog tour this time around. But book two of the Star Crossed series is out! Taurus Eyes is now available for purchase. Below are a couple of her earlier stops this month and a synopsis of the new book below.

Mother of Confusion

International Thriller Writers

Enjoy - it's been getting some great reviews! (and buy the book...)

TAURUS EYES
Look to the Stars.

Logan McRae is spending her summer at the camp of her dreams, thanks to her discovery of that amazing book, Fearless Astrology. Away from home and her friends, she now finds herself faced with a new set of challenges, a new enemy, and maybe even a new guy.

From the moment Jeremy Novack grabs her hand on the ghost-tour bus, Logan feels an immediate connection. She's sure Jeremy feels it too. But in order to secure a coveted writing spot in a national teen anthology, Logan must impress her instructor Henry Jaffa, the renowned journalist who is editing the book. She feels confident that she will shine with her brilliant astrological piece about Sun signs, but then Jaffa switches everyone's topics!

Now Logan has to compete with Jeremy, who seems obsessed by their shared topic about the ghost of an obscure dead singer. Logan has only the stars to guide her as she tries to win the respect of her idol, write a stellar essay, and capture the heart of her newfound crush.
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Finisher Shirts - for writers!

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Sparked by a conversation during Bonnie's recent tour stop here, I decided that writers deserve finisher shirts, too.

As I told Christi, who first commented on thinking in "finisher mode," runners and walkers of marathons get finisher shirts. Many participants in 10k's get finisher shirts. I haven't yet done a triathlon or biathlon - but I'm sure they get finisher shirts.

Writing a novel is at least as hard as running/walking a marathon. And takes just as much preparation. No, I take that back - more preparation. For many of us. And, we're not done when we cross that finish line of the last page.

So - today I set up a small shop over at CafePress dedicated to the novel finisher. When I saw some of the other products they had I noticed other things the writer who has finished a novel might need as they head into revisions: like a coffee mug, a mousepad, a wall clock.

Have I told you that titles are not my strong point? They're not. So, in a somewhat uncreative moment of non-inspiration, the CafePress shop is called - tada - Writing Vein Novel Finisher. Just click on that obvious title and you can see what's there. To the right is a picture of the Ringer T-shirt to whet your appetite.
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Slowing Down

Editing a novel is not speedy. For me, I have become a master at quick writes, at free writes, at putting down quickly what is in my head and it usually makes sense. Yes, it needs some editing.

And, once in a while, it's pretty good just as it comes out, and needs only minor tweaking. At least I think so.

That's for the short writes.

In 2008 I wrote 59,000+ words in 30 days. That was impressive and felt good. I liked the story. I was delighted and excited by the ending. I promised to put it aside, let it age and rest - like the apples in the drawer (thank you, Bonnie), wait until it was not breathing so hard (thank you, Mama C). And I did.

I also thought I would get it edited before 2009 NaNoWriMo started. Which I didn't. And I was okay with that. Maybe 2009 would be an even better story and I'd want to get that one ready for publication first.

It wasn't. I did pass the 50k mark well under the deadline; but the story didn't "wow" me like 2008. And I never got to the ending. I feel that story still hasn't gotten to the point; about another 25k will bring it to where it needs to be.

But the 2008 novel kept calling me.

So, I have returned to that novel. Editing. Yes - as other writers in Ariel Gore's Literary Kitchen know, I have edited small pieces and submitted them for feedback here and there.

Now is the time, however, to delve deeply. To look at the whole novel, scene by scene, and page by page. Look at where it sings and where it growls. Feel where it flows and where the rapids are too rough for clear passage. Find those contradictions and the gems.

And it is very slow. I was talking about it with writing partner, Jenny, today. It is going to take time. A lot of time. And it will be worth it, she promises. *wink*

Quick write master meets methodical editor.

Okay. I'm ready; notecards in hand and a draft copy being printed as I type.

One step. One bird. One day.

I can do this.