A Ripple in the Wave : Why I Didn't

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"how do we endure this (over and over again again again again)? we take turns until there are so many of us the wave cannot be stopped." - Lidia Yuknavitch

I am a part of the wave. I am treading water to keep afloat; and I will. I'm very good at the dog paddle, even if it means it takes me longer to arrive.

#WhyIDidntReport
   by Dot Hearn

[in no particular order]

{an incomplete list}

My skirt was above my knees.

It was almost dark.

He was my best friend's friend.

My mother said about girls in too tight clothes, "she was asking for it."

My father said when a woman was attacked at a bar, "she knew better than to go to that place."

My teachers said in the 5th grade girls secret class about periods and sex and appropriate behavior, "girls must keep their legs crossed."

He said he couldn't live without me and they would separate us if they knew.

He was going to be my husband.

He was my husband.

I thought he was cute so it was my fault.

I didn't want to wake the other people sleeping in the tent.

I didn't want to hurt his feelings because he said he loved me.

I was drunk.

He was drunk.

My mother was always suspicious of men, yet always blamed the women when something actually happened.

My mother didn't believe me when I cut my thumb on a razor and it was bleeding.

My mother didn't believe me when I rammed into the back of a parked car on a borrowed boys' bike and told her I was bleeding in my underwear.

He didn't actually get me into the car, though he tried; I should have ignored his question.

My parents would say I shouldn't have taken the shortcut through the trees from the low-rent apartments to the pizza parlor.

"I tried to warn you but you wouldn't listen," my mother would have said, and added, "Are you sure?"

Because I left my body and my mind locked away the details before someone found me tied to the tree in the middle of the elementary school track.

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'happiness does not wait"

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happiness does not wait

From the Festival of Contact Improvisation in Water and on Land
in Thailand, March 2016.

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Threshold

Because - a photo

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A moment in time from the trip to Taos. I was returning from a little trek outside of town and a sign caught my attention. I turned around and went back to check out the gallery, which was closed, but the owner let me in, anyway. Put off her trip to the post office for a few minutes to show me around and we talked. She is a writer, too. She has this gallery which is open about three days a week, sometimes four. And she lives there; rents part of it out. It's a very old home and Georgia O'Keefe stayed there back in the day. I saw the room. When I was leaving, turning around in the small parking area, I saw this gate between the parking area and the river which runs through part of town.

I took a picture.

Now I'm sharing the picture.

Just because.

It was a good trip.

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Patience. Pleasure. Presence.

I have a lot of patience. Except when I don't. Right now I'm in that in between place of hurry and wait, savor the now moment while planning for the next step and the one after that and trust the process. Be. Here. Now.

Being present. That is one of my save-that-thought experiences from the Taos trip. Even when I have to look forward.

Tomorrow is the first return to the weekly Tuesday writing sessions - which were delayed a week. And that's okay. Tomorrow we are meeting.

In gratitude to the trip, to my writing friend and our return to the weekly writing meetups, here is a picture from the road trip to New Mexico.

Patience. Pleasure. Presence.

"Take a Walk in the Park" Day

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Today, March 30th, 2014 is national "Take a Walk in the Park" day. Don't worry if you can't get out to a park today; April 2nd is The American Heart Association's "National Walk Day." So you have two chances this week to participate in a national step-away-from-the-computer-and-move day.

We have so many parks in Portland, it would be impossible to list them all. And why should I? We do have the Parks & Recreation "Find a Park/Facility" website. It is information packed and you can search for a specific area of Portland or for specific amenities/activities.

I thought I would highlight a few of my favorite in town parks. There are certainly more. And with a little bit of a drive, we can have pretty much whatever we want in terms of the surface under our feet. That's one of the great things about living here: within a few hours, we can have a larger metropolitan setting (Seattle), the high desert (Bend, the Painted Hills), the cliffs and water activities of the Columbia River Gorge, the Oregon Coast - pick your favorite for view or walking or shopping or hiking, and the fields and the Willamette Valley to the south, and with a little longer drive - probably an overnight trip - the rivers and rocks and theater of Southern Oregon.

Where is your nearest park? Or your favorite park. For me, the nearest is just a short walk up the hill and I'm at the entrance to Mount Tabor Park.

A sampling of parks around Portland.

Forest Park : great hikes and trails, a forest in the city. It's beautiful and there are many options.

Laurelhurst Park : an inner city lake, with plenty of trees, a playground, picnic tables, and a trail around this very inner city park. Great if you need a trail with little incline and self-contained. I would say it's nearly impossible to truly get lost, although don't take that as a challenge.

 Springwater Corridor : this is definitely a park for the active outdoor users and it goes for miles; literally - 21 miles. It has a multi-use trail for walkers and bikers. It goes through town from along the waterfront of the Willamette River out through East Portland and clear out to Boring.

 Powell Butte Nature Park : wildlife and trails and trees and shrubbery in the 'burbs. This is a beautiful park. But I'm including it because of a fond memory. A friend and I went here a few years ago and it was beautiful. It was a great day. I had my new hiking boots (red flag number one) and it was on the edge of town (not too far of a drive from where we were) and despite there not being a trail guide in the book in which we had found it (red flag number two), it was small and we knew we'd be fine. (Isn't confidence a great thing!) The trail guide maps were out at the trailhead (we were still confident; the book had said something about following the animals stamped or carved into markers along the trails). And we were having a great time. The markers were not so clear or were missing. And we kept walking. And walking and felt a bit like we were going in circles, but, no, we couldn't be. And then we knew we were. We searched for a way out and - well, obviously we did eventually find out way out. It wasn't funny when we finally got out of this little forested nature park four hours after we intended to be home. But it is funny now and a fond memory. It was early in our "let's go for a hike" days and we learned so much. And we were fine. It is beautiful and worth another trip.

And, of course, Mt, Tabor Park : It has water, hills, stairs, flowers, trees, playgrounds, trails. It is gorgeous with gorgeous views. An extinct volcano right here in town.








There are many parks. Pick by area. Pick by activity. Pick randomly! Just pick one and go for a walk.
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"This" - poem and photograph

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This

Breath water air

salt sea salt

sky.

Humans cannot reproduce this vision

even a photograph doesn't capture

the intense light through water soaked clouds

reflections ricochet on molecules

above and below and surround

waves running over each other to reach

the sand birds approach and retreat

sky darkens light breaks through.

Beginnings and endings.

Naked

feet

sink

cold and wet.

Smile.

This.

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poem and photo by Dot Hearn 

Twin Rocks, November 2013

Rubber Duckie Fun

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This is real. I saw a picture and wondered if it was digitally altered or a real event, so I went on an internet hunt.

It seems that there have been several of these 40-foot tall rubber ducks in cities around the world. Each city in which the ducks have appeared, have built their own duck from plans from the original by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman.

According to one article there is no political agenda. Yellow rubber ducks make people smile and that makes people happy. Simple. End of story.

This video is the London duck, floating down the Thames. 

Here's to smiling.



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Writing Sample from the LIdia Yuknavitch Workshop

This weekend I'm attending a workshop with both Lidia Yuknavitch and Dorothy Allison. The participants are divided into two groups and each group spends one day with Lidia and one day with Dorothy. Tonight we had the pleasure of listening to both Lidia and Dorothy read from their future novels. I'm excited to read them both and I could have listened to more tonight.

It was an incredible day with Lidia, with the other writers. Writing. Listening to their words, those who wanted to share. Strength, power, honesty. Brave.

This isn't something I normally do - but here I go. This is a raw piece of writing from the workshop today. I want to put it out there, as is. This was the third of a series of three related prompts. No, you don't get to see the earlier two and I'm not even giving you the prompt, which wouldn't make sense if you don't get parts one and two.

Here it is, untitled, from Port Townsend.

Flutter in the wind and the waves of knowledge passing through. Directing, redirecting and I know from where the wind comes though I’m not sure where it’s going. The going isn’t my concern, no it’s that you know. That we know that life is a river and you don’t have to stay here all the time you can change your mind and swim upstream or rest on the bank on a rock in the sun or under the shade of a tree if the light is too bright. You don’t have to brave it all at once it all leads to the same place and we will all get there. We will. I promise. I’m soft and downy and I carry the rhythm of not only your life but all life because life needs. Life is. Life. Live it. Stroke me, carry me, hear me if you can but I beat. Under the darkness inside, darkness outside. But I know and you can know if you’re willing, that darkness is just a different way of seeing. It is not absence of sight not absent of light, but a strengthening of the other senses. Strengthening of that inner knowing which I know and I will hold for you. Knowing. Holding. My wings flap and I flutter and I hold you in my gentleness and all my strength. Cry or don’t. Just be. With me.

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May Day : It's a New Month

I made it through the A to Z Blogger Challenge. It was a fun little ride and kept me doing a little bit of writing every day. Which was my goal. Some writers used the challenge to work on longer projects or promote their businesses or focused on a theme.

Not me. I did a free flow through the month, so my posts were random and varied. If I do it again, I might go for a theme. That would be a different type of a challenge. I don't know.

But I was sitting here today, ready and waiting to head out for an appointment. And I was thinking - what's missing? Oh! I haven't written a post today. So maybe the habit is back on track - of writing daily blog posts. Or maybe not.

This is a slow week and it feels good. I've been very busy and have a couple - no three - very busy weeks ahead. Which means that I'm going to try and enjoy this quiet time. I had a couple of things canceled (and canceled one myself), so I have time on my hands. Which does make it easier to write.

But even that assumption is going to be looked at: the idea of when I don't have time to write. Some days it is absolutely true. Or it's true if I want to sleep. Those days when I work 10 hours and have the drive time before and after the shift, plus sleep, plus showering and getting ready for work. Then I have time to either
workout or write - or to work on the script if I'm in show preparation mode, or any of the other work related activities I have.

photo from camsushi Insights

So today I'm writing again. Here. Not profound. Not enlightening. But I am writing. Keeping that daily habit.

And it is the first day of my participation in Christina Katz's "21 Moments" part one. I've been following her blog and have heard a lot of good things about her. And this "21 Moments" writing adventure seemed like a nice way to get a taste of her style, although it's via email, it's not interactive (until the end) - but it is writing!

So here's a raised glass of ice water on a sunny warm May Day. To continued (dare I say) daily writing, to the raised garden beds I'm going to put in, to the food dehydrator I'm going to buy, to being present and alive and creative!

This is National Poetry Month

I've done National Poetry Month for the past three years. But not this year. This year - as you may have noticed - I'm doing the Blogging A to Z Challenge. If you missed my first post about it, you may have wondered why I have a letter block each day, and why some of the topics were chosen.

Not that I can really tell you why I chose the topics, unless that's already in the post itself. Which some of them are. But some are random, as in 'what's the first thing which pops into your head with the prompt of the letter "E".' That one was completely random and fun: Eclectically Ergonomic Elephants. Ha!

But even though I'm not writing a poem a day this month, I am posting prompts intended for poetry, every day on my related site, The Writing Vein Playground. The prompts could also be used for writing. Or making art. Or dancing. I have a few friends who are writing a poem a day so these have been created with them in mind, but are open for anyone to use, of course! You can find them and see what I discover each day over at The Writing Vein Playground. And if you use them, feel free to post your poem or flash writing in the comments section.

So far this month every prompt has been a picture, one is a video. I suspect that will continue; I may or may not add word prompts as the month progresses. Each post does include a link to the place online, usually an article, where I found the pictures if you want to read more about it. But wait until after you've written your piece!

Here are direct links to the prompts so far :

April 1

April 2

April 3

April 4

April 5

April 6

April 7
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No A to Z Challenge post today. Sundays are days off in their format. Although you can see that I have already developed the daily posting habit, so here you go!

And a bonus random photo from my own collection - just because.

Reaching for Sunset by Dot.

Nye Beach, Oregon 2011

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Challenge : F is for Float

F is for Float.

It could be a root beer float. Yum! I haven't had one of those in a long time; years. Right now I'm tasting that creamy texture of the vanilla ice cream - make it a really good one, natural, old fashioned, plain vanilla - covered with a real home-brewed type root beer poured over the top. So that the ball of vanilla is covered with a crunchy root beer ice coating, which crunches as you sip and chew. Smooth.

But I'm not writing about that today.

Or it could be a parade Float. Living in the City of Roses, that would be natural. We have the annual Rose Festival and the accompanying parade, which includes the Rose Princesses and the Rose Queen. And the Royal Rosarians. I haven't kept up with the newest technology in Float building, but it used to be that they used actual flower petals - many of them roses, of course - which where applied to the body of the Float to make the creatures and vehicles and the structures upon which the people and animals and various attachments sat as they flowed through the streets of downtown Portland, Oregon, blocking traffic for hours and making it difficult to get from here to there or anywhere.

But I'm not writing about that today, either.

What I am writing about is to take a Float. As in, Float in a saltwater tank for a period of time, with the door closed, the lights all off and access to light blocked, and no sounds. To Float in darkness for ninety minutes. Let the salt heavy water support your body in its natural position, in the dark and the silence and just be present. To slip into a state where ninety minutes feels like thirty and eventually your mind does quiet and you are ... just ... there. Floating. Supported. Relaxed to the state where creativity lives and flows and you now have access.

The first Float I did was about a month ago. I'd heard about them and they sounded wonderful. And kind of scary. I couldn't really imagine me doing anything like being still for ninety minutes. And the first appointment I scheduled was actually two and a half hours, because of the time slot, which was because of my busy and pretty full schedule. But I thought I'd give it a try.

There was the option of getting out at any time, they said.

But I didn't. I stayed in the entire two and a half hours. And had no idea it had been that long.

Two nights ago I went for my second Float. It was only a ninety minute appointment. And - yes - it really did feel like about thirty minutes.

So when someone asked me yesterday if my "E" word story was about an elephant eating a berry which turned out to be a drug, and I responded that I didn't think so, but maybe. And then I said that I didn't know where the story came from and, no, I wasn't on any mind altering substance, either, when I wrote it. I wasn't.  But it was post-Float. And Floating is said to aid in creativity. The place where I'm going did a project where musicians Floated and then created music; they have a CD of their collected compositions. They also did a Float project with artists. Right now they have a Float project going on with chefs - I can't wait to see how that one turns out.

I'm thinking of talking to them about my idea for a writers and Float project. Really. It's that good.

So. F is for Floating in ten inches of water which has 800-900 pounds of Epsom salts, in the dark and the silence. Ahhhhhh.

Daily Update: NaNoWriMo Day Two feels like three

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I'm ending the second day of NaNoWriMo with 3404 words. That's pretty good, though I'd hoped for more. But, judging how things have gone the last two days, I'm fine with ending the second day on target.

See, in case you're joining me late in this story, we had a water pipe break at home. Upstairs on the second floor, in the bathroom, behind the cabinet. That has been a very long process of dealing with a water damage recovery company which led to discovering asbestos backed floors in both bathrooms and having to move a claw foot tub for the new floors (both bathrooms) and more. Delays and haggles about what would or wouldn't be covered; miscommunications; wrong orders. One thing and another. Oh, and this happened on September first. Not a typo - September first; and today is November 2nd and we just got the upstairs bathroom all put back together today. Or I hope so; I haven't been home to see if it's final or not, but they were working on it when I left.

Two months without a working shower, without our washer and dryer. Luckily we do have a half bathroom and I do have a gym membership.

Today they arrived to start work at a time which was just a little over six hours after I arrived home from work. Ah well.  I moved things being stored in the guest room from that bed and climbed between the washer and dryer being stored there to get into the bed, where I slept for the better part of the next two hours. See, the upstairs bathroom is off of our bedroom.

Anyway. Then the contractors had to show us some "bad news" they found under the downstairs sink and explain why the downstairs - which is where the washer and dryer live - is going to be delayed another 2 - 3 weeks.

Which made me lose my swimming time but I had just enough time to get to the gym to shower before my chiropractic appointment. Which isn't quite true because I was 5 minutes late to the appointment, but that all worked out fine.

But I did manage to grab 45 minutes with a decaf soy latte and a breakfast bagel sandwich at a little coffee shop and managed to knock out about 1100 words before going to work.

Then at work, on breaks, I managed to scrape together about another 600 words.

So, my little story is chugging along, although the last 600 I typed are probably fit for the early parts of the book, maybe the opening. With some major rework but I like parts of it very much.

So, for today, I met the minimum daily average. And I'm happy.
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Razor's Edge : Water Movement

Water is important; we all know that. But this week water has been a particularly commanding presence in my life. It started with the discovery of a soaked bathroom rug in the middle of the night, which led to shutting off water to the entire house, and calling a plumber.

All this on the day the Literary Kitchen started another round of Wayward Writers. And we had a date with the youngest member of our family to go to the Pirate Festival. Oh! And Pirates = water. Yet another connection.

The plumber came and went last Saturday and we had a new cold water connection, a new sink drain, and were told we needed to call our insurance. Which we did. And we waited.

For returned calls.

Which came. With anxiety producing predictions of the process. With threats that the potential damage may not be covered. With trying to schedule visits from a disaster recovery contractor and an insurance adjuster and then another visit from the contractor's office. With more promised appointments and visits to be made, with the potential of another team of workers if the samples taken today turn out to contain asbestos or lead paint (our house is over 100 years old; the chances are good).

All this while trying to work. To write a story. To prepare to interpret a wedding on Saturday. To rearrange the interpreter line-up for PCS because one person had to back out for the season.

This momentum, this movement in a new direction while holding our own in the stream of our lives, started with a burst water pipe under the sink and behind a drawer.

Stepping on a soaking wet mat on the way to the toilet in the middle of the night.

Water. Important. And powerful.

So, for you, today's prompt is water related.

This is a relaxing and attractive video of a river. Turn it up so you can hear the water. When you feel yourself letting go a little, feel the edge of tautness slipping away, read the prompt and write.

Or, read the prompt first and then turn on the video. It's 10 minutes in length; the amount of time I'd like you to write.

PROMPT: 

I looked into her eyes and knew ....

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Razor's Edge for 6/29/12

Today's Razor's Edge prompt is a character sketch.

Read her dexcription and then choose one of the photos below as the setting for her story.

Write for 10 minutes.


NAME: Freedom Malloy
AGE: early twenties
HAIR: Chestnut, for now; cut just below her shoulders
ENJOYS (partial list): reptiles, all things blue, tango dancing, her vintage institution green scooter, reading, being in high places
DISLIKES (parital list): fizzy water, all things pastel, miniatures, imitation foods, the smell of the overflowing sewer after a hard rain
TATOOS: dragonfly

Razor's Edge for 6/22/12

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Today's prompt is a video: Regina Spektor's "All the Rowboats." It's a music video - but my challenge to you is to turn your speakers off before you watch it. Watch the video all the way through and then write for 10 minutes.

What are you (or your character) about to fall into? Are you (or your character) running to something or running away? Or do you (or your character) feel trapped where you are?

Where are you?

Start with this:   All around me I could see ....

After you've written, go back and watch the video again, this time with sound. Did something different come to you with her music? Or does it deepen what you've already written?

Write for another 5 - 10 minutes. Add on to what you already put down, or start something new. Start with this:   And then I knew ... .



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On the Water

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Mouth of the Columbia, Ridgefield, WA

photo by Dot. 

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On the Water
            by Dot

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Dip paddle
Flow
Float with the tide and let the wind
and current
Guide you inward to
your soul to the water to
breath

To the place where Poetry and Words
live to the place where
Story
is born and grows.

Dip paddle.

Flow.

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"Imitation is the best form of flattery."  -- Charles Caleb Colton

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Dip paddle.
Flow.
Write.
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Rejuvenation

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Yes. I needed to be at the coast. I need to be at the coast more often.

Last week someone asked me how often I needed to be at the coast. My answer was that I didn't know, but plan to find out.

It was relaxing. Restorative. I slept and read and went online and walked, walked more, walked more at one time than I've been able to do for a while for one reason or another. And slept and sat and watched the water.

I came home last night ready to face the week. Ready to face another round of appointments and jump back into writing and asking for help instead of digging out my Wonder Woman cape again.

There are a lot of pictures I uploaded to Facebook. This is just one. One of my favorites. It was nearing sunset on the second night and it shows the Twin Rocks well, the sky, the water. It's mystical and magical. And it makes me happy to look at it.

More to come.

Today I ordered "The Mindful Writer: Noble Truths of the Writing Life," by Dinty Moore. I ran across it in a magazine I bought while I was at the coast and it looked perfect for right now. I'm looking forward to getting it.

I also ordered a Feng Shui "Good Health" jade charm thingy.

Writing and health and possibility.

I will be back at the coast with my partner in mid-May. And I may also have a day trip with a friend to the coast in May.

I think I've been missing the beach.

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All Lanes Open

I was wondering what to post and feeling the need to write something. It's been a week since I posted here. Busy, distracted, wrapping up the second of the two overlapping online writing workshops. Making it through each day, being where I needed to be and when I needed to be there.

And here it is again Sunday.

Then I saw the headline: "All lanes open on Morrison Bridge". I realize that people outside of Portland, Oregon will most likely have no relationship to that headline. But especially for those of us who travel frequently between the east and west sides of the river, this is great news. Being down one of the central bridges has been a pain for a long time. Construction on the bridge started last June and it has just reopened.

So I was thinking that feeling is what I'm searching for in other parts of my life. Yes, I'm happy to have my primary bridge available, again. Very happy. And there's more.

I've been feeling a little backed up in my life, which includes my writing life. Feeling like the flow isn't quite there. Like there are too many detours and sometimes, like with the physical bridges, the alternate route is blocked. Or raised for a passing barge / financial need / someone else's priority. I'm good with workarounds and hanging in there until it passes and finding patience.

And.

I want my lanes open. Creativity to flow like water and to be able to follow my chosen path.

All lanes open.

Yes.
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Found Words

I love to swim. It's kind of solitary but not really. I mean, I swim along and the water blocks out conversation and, usually, people don't try to have conversations with me while I'm swimming.

Just to be clear, I'm talking about swimming in a pool.

So I'm swimming solo although I might not be the only person in the pool. And I don't mind that; it doesn't bother me at all. Unless it's too crowded. But as I'm swimming more I'm finding the times when it seems to be more crowded and try to not go. The pool at my gym isn't that big so there's not a lot of space for hordes of others. If there are a few walkers and water exercise people in the walking lane, that leaves three lanes to swim in. And if there are more than two people in a lane - well, I can't imagine that. Really. Two gets a little tricky depending on skill level and preference. For example, the "circle swim" doesn't work in my opinion, unless we're doing exactly the same thing. Which leaves splitting the lane and then, we better both be doing the crawl, back stroke, and kick boards; no butterflies or breast stroke or someone will get whacked.

And what does that have to do with found words? Not much.

Except I'm talking about the swimming pool as a source for catching snippets of conversations. Generally out of context and the punch line may be missing or you get only the punch line. And I've noticed that there are some people who tend to be posers in the pool.

I'm not talking about the hip young "meat market" type of people in swim trunks flexing their muscles. For the most part, that is not what my gym is made up of, which is why I joined it a number of years ago.

But there seem to be some people who like to sit in the jacuzzi or stand in small groups in the walk lane and "hold court," so to speak. They have opinions to share and sermons to make. I don't mind. It makes for some interesting character sketches or writing prompts or ideas for stories to discover between my laps.

Where do you pick up some lines for your writing?


The pool gem so far this week is as follows:

"Yah, like that. Insurance companies. I tell ya, it's in their best interest to keep us sick."
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