Still Here. Don't Know What to Say.

 It's been over four months since I've put anything here. 

Which is not the same as not writing for four months. I've been writing. A lot. I've been in workshops and working on book projects and experimenting with writing essays and different styles of memoir pieces and I even took a class on making an illustrated manuscript (page or book).

But I haven't written here.

How much "woe is me" and "the pandemic is hard" and "life is great/sucks/changes" writing can I produce and can anyone read?

The truth is that I could write a lot of that. Potentially. That is not what I've been writing and not what I wanted to put here.

So. Nothing was put here.

And I'm thinking again - what is this space? What should go here? What do I want it to be?

I don't know right now.

I am writing. I am doing some theater again - baby steps to distanced outdoor theater and I've been doing a little virtual theater (staged readings mostly; some audio plays/dramas). And writing. And working. A couple of big theater projects in the works - one of which is being recorded tomorrow. 

In a time of transition and some people are going to quickly, in my opinion. (And the opinion of several people I know.) Let's open a bit, see what happens. If the numbers don't spike, then let's go a little more. But let's not just throw all caution to the wind and jump into the mosh pit. Please. Too late. Okay, then I'll continue to be a little cautious while we see what happens.

I will also continue to think what I would like this space to be.

For now, here is a sample I made of an illustrated letter.

Bodies Breathing Heartbeats

A friend posted a question in Facebook, which triggered me to think about what things I'm not doing during the pandemic. I made a list of what I am doing - what I have done since the day first things (in my corner of the world) started being canceled, restricted, closed down: March 13, 2020.

If you know me in 3-D world, you know that I am an introvert. And a shy introvert, at that. I only put that here for those who don't know, because it is relevant to what I am about to say.

One of the things I miss most is being in the room with other creative people. Theatre people; artist people; writer people. As soon as the "stay home, stay safe" order came out and theatrical performances were postponed then canceled, I signed up for a few writing workshops. Online writing workshops, because that was - and is - what's available. 

I love my online writing workshops. I have worked with some amazing facilitators and writers online, through Ariel Gore's Literary Kitchen and through Corporeal Writing. My writing workshops with Ariel are almost entirely online all the time, with an occasional in-person class when she's in town. But my workshops with Corporeal Writing have been 90% in real space, breathing together, writing together, sharing heartbeats in real time and place. It's been a perfect mix for me. But since mid-March 2020, all of my writing community is online. 

I am grateful for the ability and opportunity to continue connections, continue mentoring and facilitation, playing with new kinds of writing, exploring words together while apart.

But one this I miss the most right now is the ability to be in the room together as we create, individually and collectively. Because I also think that anytime a group of creative people come together to share art making in real time and space, we are also creating community, some of which may be temporary for that specific time and some of which may carry over into our lives. 

And, for me, I like some heart breathing bodies together time, too. 

I miss being bodies and hands and hearts in the same space for creative adventures.

But, by being safe, keeping distance now, wearing masks/face coverings, good hygiene, limiting bodies together in space time, we can come together later. In real time. In real space. And breathe words together.

I miss my 3-D writing people time.

Photos from the Transmutation Book Making writing workshop through Corporeal Writing, with Ruth Patience Bryant and Domi Shoemaker. 

Putting a Little Air Back in the Blog Tire

I still don't know what I want to do with the renewal of this domain, with what is now primarily a blog with its own name. I know I don't want to let it go but what that looks like, I'm not sure.

So I am now trying to post here once a month. To not let it die. To pump it up just a little. Keep it moving forward.

I am writing more essays and stories, more nonfiction pieces and dystopian.

The .:LOOP:. reading went really well. I did have a small technical glitch, which I think I figured out four days later during my therapy while I wasn't talking about it. It still went really well. There was one piece of my multimedia reading which failed. But if one part was to fail, it was the best one to not make its appearance. The sound. I wish it would have all been there, but the other pieces, my words, my reading, my visual handmade "word container" the short movie I made - all worked beautifully and those were the most important parts. One tech failure leaves me with something more to work on and improve for the next time. And there will be a next time. And next time I will made a checklist, no matter how small, to make sure that everything is as it should be in terms of the technology. Really. I am not upset about it.

It is the second week of another online writing workshop and I am writing this when I should be wrapping up the finishing touches of my week two assignment. Which I will return to now. I have procrastinated long enough and time is short. (Time is up, really, since it is after 3 AM and I do have to work "tomorrow" which is later today.)

Writing is happening. And submissions. I submitted one piece after work tonight and am working on two pieces (only one of which will be published) in an anthology.
Performance interpreting is happening. And performance interpreting education and coordination is happening (a lot).
Regular interpreting work is happening, too.

And life. Life goes on.
Life is good.
Life has had a few (externally caused internal) bumps recently. But life is (still) good.

Author Bio

I am not a fan of writing bios for myself. Be it for interpreting or writing or theater, I just don't like it. I feel awkward and don't know what to say.

I have developed various length bios over the last few years, for different needs. Which I update and adjust as needed. Once in a while I need something totally new.

The totally new need came about a couple of weeks ago, in preparation for the writing retreat reading and the AWP offsite event reading. I have a short version bio I actually like right now - and it has an even shorter version that is fun, too.

The reading, .:LOOP:., at Corporeal Center on 4-20-19 needed a bio and a pic. I don't have my official "author photo" yet, but I have a couple I've been using that are okay. Tonight I received this multimedia bio from Domi Shoemaker, writer-captain-mammal-extraordinaire. They have the golden creative touch; truly.

Here it is, my bio for .:LOOP:. on 4.20.19.  (If you missed the post about this new quarterly writing series, go back one post for more information. It is going to be one of the highlights of my year. Now I have to get back to editing what I am going to read and working on the multimedia bits.)

.:LOOP:. new Corporeal Writing Event

Corporeal Writing is starting a new reading series this month:

.:LOOP:. A Corporeal Writing Jag

04.20.2019     5 - 8 pm

This will be organized by the Domi Shoemaker, who previously ran Burnt Tongue for an extremely successful six years. And they are lovingly called Captain Corporeal, among other things, and the managing master of the ship called Corporeal Writing.


I am honored and excited to be on the lineup for the first reading, alongside some powerhouse writers. I know at least a few of these will be multimedia pieces - including mine.


Save the date if you can and I will see you there!

AWP2019

My first AWP is a wrap. I'm too exhausted - and still smiling - to write more. But I will. Later. For now - the first photo is officially day one, when we picked up our badges (thank you, Kassie, for suggesting we get our badges and bags Wednesday night), (the schedule columns are 75 minute time slots; the rows are all of the options - approximately 25 options per time slot; those standing schedules are about 6 1/2 fee tall);  the second photo is the Moscow Mules following the final event of my first AWP, the Corporeal Happy Hour. I have pages of notes, some flyers and books, and all of that will be revisited later.

At this moment, as I head to bed, two pieces of advice for first-time AWP attendees? Make sure you're rested heading into the conference. I had a writing retreat with some other Wayward Writers on the Washington coast for a few days heading into the conference - that was perfect. My second piece of advice is to take a friend. Listen to everyone else's suggestions (pace yourself, drink water, rest, eat protein, take breaks if you need to, etc) -- and go with a buddy. The buddy system worked really well. I am still exhausted, but also still smiling.

#AWP19

And ... I'm Back

*
I transferred my domain to a new company and experienced an outage for a short time. It was not the
fault of the new company. After a few frustrating days of this website being down and researching potential problems, the new company asked me a question which led me to the answer. Apparently the previous company did something which, once the domain was transferred, the DNS was not being read.

I tried to contact the original company via phone, but the wait time was longer than the time I had available. Later, after work (meaning at 2AM), I was going to try again and discovered that they had a 24-hour online chat available, so I decided to do that, so I could attend to a couple of other things during the inevitable wait.

The wait. Yes. at 2AM I was #164 in the queue (no exaggeration) and the wait was estimated to be at least 58 minutes. At 2AM.

No.

I gave up, disconnected, and went to bed.

As happens from time to time, a potential solution came to me while I slept. Combined with the information from the new company - which I was able to contact via email (go figure! a tech company I can correspond with via email) - I remembered that there was a workaround on this website a few years ago when the original domain company made a change in their process.

Armed with the while-I-slept insight and the new company information, I found some articles online and I was able to repair this website and get it up and running.

So what does this have to do with writing? Well, authors are expected to have websites and this is the one I have right now. We often have to depend on others for hosting and domains and design and so on. But it can also be useful to have some basic knowledge to be able to do it ourselves. And enough knowledge to know when we can't and we need the help of people more knowledgeable.

It also has to do with selling books, because until today, this was the only place my book was available for sale. Unless we happened to be in the same place at the same time, and I happened to have some books with me (which I almost always do - just in case).

As of today, my book, Pickle Blanket Chronicles: A Flash Mixtape, is also available at Literary Kitchen online. Thank you to Ariel Gore and the Lit Kit Collective, my book can be purchased through that website, too.

Website up and running again? Check.
Book available for sale? Check.

Other current happenings:
- the POC interpreter performance interpreting workshop is going well. We had our last in-person all group meeting last week. I am currently working with two participants on one show and one participant on a different show. We will begin the process of the final project in a few weeks (a group of them will interpret "Crowns," with additional mentoring from an experienced POC performance interpreter and theatre person).
- I am in a Write Now workshop/collab with Lidia Yuknavitch and Domi Shoemaker; we are in the final week right now. This is a process created by Lidia this time around, called Narrative Palimpsest and I love it. It is a wonderful group of writers and we are creating new writing with this new process. I can't wait to see how they develop and grow.
- I am still editing the memoir. I believe I am nearing the end of the hand edits - then the giant task of getting all of that into the computer (along with the inevitable edits and rewrites which will result from that process).
- I am signed up as a participant in an author reading during the AWP conference, in an offsite event. I am nervous (always) and excited. I don't know what I will read, yet - but I have plenty of time to decide.
- and more. But that's enough for now.

Thank you for reading.

If you're curious what's happening in my performance interpreting world, here is one resource where I post upcoming shows and information related to those plays. I also sometimes post information for other interpreted or signed performances, as well: Performing Arts Interpreting Alliance Facebook page.

If you are looking for a new domain company, check out Porkbun!

Writing Murmuration

I am in a sweet spot of writing. I get to be in workshops/classes with the writing mammals who give me breath and space and hold each other close and tell truths.

I just completed a twelve-week online manuscript writing workshop with Ariel Gore in The Literary Kitchen. This was my second time in that class and I am solid in my book now; moving it forward. I can feel in my body that this project is right and it will get done.

Then, just to make sure I keep on with the edits, I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo. There are many differences between November NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo (there is one in April and one in July), but one of the big ones is that in Camp, you set your own goal. This is only my second time in Camp N and this time I set my goal to editing 90 pages in the 30 days. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I am working with the printed manuscript and editing by hand. If I find the editing and rewriting goes faster, I can increase my goal.

Sunday started an online Short Story writing workshop/class with Ariel in the Literary Kitchen. It kicked off on Friday with signing up for the boards and a pre-assignment. This one is three weeks and I am already loving it.

Then, this recent weekend I spent Friday night through Sunday late afternoon at the Corporeal Writing Center with an in-person Spring Seasonal Revision workshop with Lidia Yuknavitch and Domi Shoemaker and is was also magic. I need the balance of online and in person - and I need to have time in person with my Corporeal Writing tribe. And the Lidia & Domi infusion.

I am swimming in the words of the writers I get to share time with online and in person. I feel sated and wanting more simultaneously and my writing is flowing for it.

Last night I watched a video of a starlings murmuration and I was mesmerized. I was not able to find the exact video to share, but this one is close. The murmuration looks like how I felt this weekend. the gathering, forming, reforming. spreading out and coming back together; in sync and yet many individuals of the whole. Rise and fall and dropping back quietly, efficiently, whole, into a place of rest before returning to the next part of the journey.

Revision Is Hard (for me)

*

I am in a 12-week manuscript class and we just passed the halfway mark.

It is an amazing experience with Ariel Gore at the helm, and a group of skilled writers with so many good stories to tell. There are writing exercises, prompts, feedback, reading other authors' words, resources Q&As, and more.

It is very helpful and my project is moving forward.

Moving forward and away from me and I chase it and I catch up and more comes along and I see many possibilities. Building that onto the revelations and experience at Writing by Writers Methow Valley retreat/workshop in May, which built onto Corporeal Writing workshops with Lidia Yuknavitch and Domi, which built on earlier workshops with Ariel in the Literary Kitchen.

Possibilities for strengthening my writing, making words clearer and the stories pop and sizzle and feel right.

And, still, I am not daunted by the new material. I am excited to work in lost or forgotten details. To take a couple of found threads of my stories to weave them together. To work with memory and storytelling and, well, you'll have to wait and see. I am excited to make changes.

Once in a while that little critical voice comes along which whispers (or yells, although its voice is losing power) that I can't/shouldn't/won't/don't dare write this thing into completion. It brings up doubts and fears and old confusion of responsibility and truth and wonder and forgetting.

The forgetting is the harder part. Forgetting is easy and it used to be that forgetting happened without notice, without any signal, and celebration or achievement slipped away, too. Not just the hard stuff but the good stuff, too. It all slipped away between a blink and a breath, shut in a room far away out of sight out of thought. Never happened in the consciousness.

But it did. But it didn't.

Now things don't slip away so easily. Now that critical voice is quieter and sometimes it gets lost in the successes and the stories and its stories have lost a lot of their power. It's good.

It's not easy. And when I go through these stories I've written and am writing. When I relive them and remember and the sensations run through me, through my corporeal being, the trick is to let them pass through and not get stuck.

But doubt doesn't go away that easily. It may never be totally gone for me. The goal is to quiet the doubt and the confusion, and let confidence and skillful means take the lead, the louder voice.

While I work on the stories of times when confidence and skillful means meant basic survival.

Revising the stories for flow and word choice and pacing and clarity. Revising heartbeats and breath, movement and stagnation, making room for readers. And me.

It may be hard, but I'm on it.

And I'm doubling down on the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. If you haven't read any of these stories, there is a ton of context missing. Just trust me - meat and mashed potatoes are in the revision.

This really was in my fortune cookie tonight!

Hey, It's Me!

*
Checking in here as me. Just me. Not me the interpreter, not me the coordinator, not me the how-I-appear-to-others. Me.

I guess.

Or me in the moment. Yes, this is me in the moment.

I just created and posted several interpreted theatre events in Facebook. And forwarded some news of the day things; reposted is the correct word.

And caught up with some work people about this project and that idea and the things I've been discussing with different people.

And.

This morning before I went to work another of my providers not-so-subtly, yet kindly, suggested that I might want to look at when I have a break coming up. Which I do.

Sort of. No really, I do. It's five days not only off of work but completely away from work. I will be steeped in writing, again, for the Writing By Writers Methow Valley writing conference/retreat/workshop. That will be awesome. And I will be unavailable for work while I'm up there soaking in the writerhood and being my other me.

Okay - in my writing world. Things are moving and happening. No, I'm not done with the major WIP (work in progress). I am making great progress, though. And a plan, goals, have emerged (again, but I think this is "it.").

I had some huge insights and my heart and guts shifted during the Corporeal Writing Revision workshop I attended recently. It was amazing - everyone was amazing. All of the words and the open and the being together in a room with these excellent beings, sharing air and food and words. I left with some insights; major insights.

So, I've been writing more, again. Some of it enforced by needing to submit work ahead of time for the Methow Valley experience.

Oh - and if you didn't catch it on Facebook (I know there are a couple of followers here who aren't on Facebook), I received heartwarming news from Hippocampus Magazine. My "Alone in Reno" piece, which was published in the December issue, was given the Most Memorable piece for that issue. I was surprised and touched and it means so much to me. (I just found out a couple of weeks ago; you haven't been kept in the dark for too long!)

I also have been writing short poems this month. The goal is one per day - after all, it is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo - not officially affiliated with NaNoWriMo). I did well for a while. Slipped behind and caught up. Now I'm behind a few days, again. I will try to get caught up, again. These have been primarily haikus, with a couple of etherees, a really bad (I am not exaggerating) limerick, and a cinquain. You can take a look over here in the Playground if you dare - but don't say I didn't warn you!

I now return to the other thing I was doing.

Writing is happening. Theatre - lots of theatre - is happening. There are new ideas and projects in the works (no, I'm not saying anything, yet). And I am looking for the places where I can get a little R&R.

Keep creating!
*

Fatigue and Recovery

I noticed last night that everything I was writing, or starting to write or comment, about things I was seeing on Facebook related to the WH was sarcastic. Not funny, not humor, but pure sarcasm.

I know! Sarcasm can be good, but it isn’t always. What I was noticing was that defeated sarcastic. The what the fuck is the point, what the hell are they doing now, will do next feeling of uselessness and/or ineffectiveness.

So I stopped posting anything. Well, I stopped posting any of the news, and of the crying in my coffee stuff. I did find a few positive articles and stories and shared those. Those are good, too.

But my defeatism still existed.

It was still there when I got up today. So today I vowed to myself to keep (mostly) off of FB and the news for a little while. A few hours or probably until after the show tonight. Because I am feeling a rage exhaustion. We have been promised there is something coming about the Queer community. I want to be able to face that with my full rage, without exhaustion and without defeat. This all affects all of us and the people in our neighborhoods, country, the world, I know. I know. And all of that is personal. And this one will be extra special personal to me (see that note of not-funny sarcasm, still there; damn).

I want to take this one on full face frontal. Like I did when I made my call to Homeland Security today urging them to NOT confirm Bannon, who is not representative of the people and the values of the United States of America (that was probably the most nerve wracking call to a machine I’ve ever made).

But coming for the Queers is coming for me. I am already there for the other people who have been targeted and the outrage and the horrors being caused by the man who claimed the title. And this one is me and my direct community and if it is as bad as some have said, that it is as bad as the possibility of a person being thrown in jail/prison just for beeing queer – I want my full rage and power restored.

So I’m mostly avoiding the news for several hours.

This is where I am……

a stressed, exhausted owl I found online (from weibo.com)

This is where I want to be before I jump back into the circle of action….

Tim Roth as Dr Cal Lightman, in Lie to Me

And I just signed up for the #CorporealWriting offering "Writing About Class in America: A May Day Workshop " in April. Participants raved about the last session of this workshop and I'm glad it's being offered again. One star for me today. See? I am coming out from the funk. A few more hours and I'll be ready to jump back in. 

Thank you for keeping vigil while I regain my breath.

NaNoWriMo Day 25: keeping on

I am still trying to write to 60k before the end of November, since I passed the 50k mark so early.

I think I will actually get there. My writing has slowed, but that seems to make sense. Since we went out of town yesterday to spend it with our complicated and extended family. It was a good day, There was about one third or one half of the whole bunch there, I'd guess. Hard to track the numbers. It was a good day. The drive down, which is normally 90 minutes or a little less, was two and a half hours. There was a lot of traffic, more than anticipated and planned for, and it was raining heavily with standing water on some parts of the freeway.

So yesterday I wrote a very short bit after we got home. But I had to go to bed early (for me) for and early (for me) job out of town.

But circumstances happened and I ended up with some extra time today. Part of that bonus time was spent meeting one of S's _?_ cousin first removed? or something. I'm not good at mapping extended cousins and relatives in that way. But he and his wife came down from Seattle to visit family here in Portland, and had planned to come by here first to go out for lunch with S; and since I was home, I was able to join them, with my phone on because I was on call if the job site needed me to go back.

I enjoyed meeting them and we had great conversation. And agreed to get together, again. More like-minded people in my life is good. And they are planning to move to Maui in a  year or so, which means, boo hoo, that we might *have* to travel to Hawaii to visit them. I've never been there and it hasn't been on my list of places I had to see. But having friends there might make it more appealing.

Back to my writing. I have been able to get some writing on the project done today. I am taking a short break to check in here then will try to get more in before going to bed.
 Right now I am nearing 56k. Another confessed hope I will make public and maybe it will help me get it done: I hope to wrap this up before I go to rehearsal tomorrow night. Meaning that I hope to get another approximately 4400 words written before 5:00 tomorrow.

We'll see. If I can avoid checking in on my people in Facebook for a little while, that will help.

And I'm excited: I signed up for two online writing workshops in January. One is a class I've been wanting to do since it first appeared and now, due to the cancellation of another workshop, I'm able to take it - writing the personal essay; this version of it will be an intensive (every day for 12 days or so, rather than over several weeks). Ariel is also offering another online intensive workshop in writing Noir and Dystopian writing ("Fatalist Fiction" - love that name) I signed up for. These are not genres I have been writing, but I have wanted to explore them, so the timing is perfect and it looks really good.

Once again, doing NaNoWriMo has put writing and creating back at the top of my list - or at least parallel with the income producing work I do.  NaNoWriMo, along with the Corporeal Writing face to face workshops and the online Literary Kitchen workshops is keeping me writing, keeping me exploring, providing inspiration, place, and time for writing. And validation and support.

Look at me! I'm still writing. *grin*

It's Fall. Leaves Falling. Words Falling. Fall Introspection.

*
Feeling a little, something. A word popped into my head which wasn't the word I'm feeling and not the word I was thinking. That word was "nostalgic" but that isn't what it is.

I'm feeling. Some excitement maybe. After all, NaNoWriMo is coming!

And a Corporeal Writing workshop in November.

October brings me a chance to interpret "Trevor" at Artists Repertory Theatre and then a staged reading of "Hazardous Beauty" at Profile Theatre. And what will be an amazing wonderful experience of a second chance to interpret Profile Theatre's "Antigone Project" - but this time it will be at Oregon School for the Deaf.

I'm also doing a 30-day Lunar Challenge writing experience online. It is day two and I just finished up my intro. I haven't written day one yet, but I will. And then move on to day two writing. But I'm writing here right now instead of doing that. The facilitator is a writer I met in the Corporeal Writing workshops, who is a creative and energetic spirit full of heart. This is part of my increasing my writing time. My writing commitment. Because NaNoWriMo is coming; and I want to do this anyway.

Maybe this will be the year which launches me forward into writing. Maybe.

For now, back to the work and the script. After I write the two daily assignment, I mean.

So what was it I'm feeling? Oh, right, reflective; introspectively reflective. Nice!
*

Writing is/is not a Solitary Activity

*
I've heard a lot of people - ordinary people on the street; published authors; editors; writing facilitators/professors/teachers/mentors; others - say that "writing is a solitary activity." Which I think is true, in some ways. Not true always. And while I do think that the act of writing is a thing we can do alone, we may often do alone, the process of creativity and writing is not something we do alone. It takes a bunch of people to make this writing thing we do move from our brain and hands onto the page, be it electronic or printed.

The writer alone in the room writing.

Does it happen? Yes, absolutely. And, no. Is that the everything of writing? Sitting alone and putting words onto the page/screen?

For those who may think of, or actually do, their writing entirely alone, cool. Good. Do what works.

But I think, like the photos below which I took from the balcony in LACMA on our visit last March, to get the writing out into the world it takes more than just the person doing the writing. Each process may look different for different writers; I'm sure it does.

But, like these people carrying the long tube/rolled up something/whatever it is up the stairs, it would be a nearly impossible task for one person. But together they were talking, laughing, serious, and it was smooth and easy and they nearly glided up the steps.

A few days ago I applied to another Writing By Writers conference taking place later next year. And I was accepted. It is a different group, in general, from my tribe of writers, but it's a good group and there is overlap. It was a life altering experience last spring and I want to do it again. I was among writers and I felt like a writer; I was - and am - a writer.

But my tribe of writers is bigger than that. There are two other groups which have been huge supporters in this writing process and continue to be. Several individuals in particular - but even the groups as a whole, because they are led by two people who attract good people to them. They lead by example and believe in all of us and hold space for use to create and develop. Without these two groups, I wouldn't have the manuscript I'm editing right now. I wouldn't have the short story collection in process, or the guts and energy to tackle NaNoWriMo again this year, even though I'm still editing the manuscript (I hoped to have it done before November, but unless I get a supercharge of writing time and energy, I'm not sure I'll make it). I still have moments of doubt about whether I should be writing, if my writing is "any good," if the story is worth putting out there, and so on.

Some days I'm the "tube" and I'm being buoyed by my fellow Corporeal Writing writers, and the authors I've met through Lidia Yuknavitch's workshop series, gliding along knowing that I am one of them. Some days I am one of the "tube bearers" and supporting and lifting up other writers with feedback or head nods and encouragement, or just being witness. My years of workshops in the Literary Kitchen with Ariel Gore and fabulous Wayward Writers was similar, although that tribe is online, and it is a solid foundation I carry with me now.

I am also fortunate to have a writer friend who I get to meet with on a pretty regular basis for shared writing time and feedback. See? Again, not alone. Sometimes we are writing simultaneously. We are not working on the same project - but we are sharing space and mutual accountability for showing up - and writing. I've had a few writing groups off and on; I think I'd like one of those, too, but am waiting and open for the right configuration of writers with compatible time and space to come along. Or maybe I'm waiting for me to make the time and space so it can happen; which I think I'm on the right track and am in the process of opening up some space in my schedule for more writing.

The tube. The tube carriers. Writing is solitary activity. Writing is a community activity.

Summer Heat Eros or What I Did Today

*
EROS            THANATOS

survival           survival
instinct            instinct
physical          physical
love                anger
life                 death
creativity        violence
sexuality/
   passion         aggression
preservation    destruction
self
 -satisfaction   sadism

    NOT SO DIFFERENT
   each inside the other
   

{creation<>destruction}

Sometimes to create, do we not have to destroy? To destroy what has been placed over our Self and our Desire and what constricts us. And don't we, in our creative process, destroy something - make something different than it was before. And in destruction aren't we also creating something new, because taking something away leaves space and time for something new, a replacement, a creative opportunity.

Audre Lorde: "Erotic moves us toward personal and political change." and "Our erotic power becomes a lens to see the world."

Re-examining what "eros" means. Places where its power might exist and the knowledge. How we suppress the expression of "eros" and what if we didn't?

Lidia Yuknavitch: "Eros as activism."

*

Corporeal Writing Summer Session

*
heat words eros, breaking through timidity, first time second time many times returning to self to the body, speaking from the body breaking down personal limitations, being present in our messedupness not alone sharing space sharing wine whiskey beer soda water sharing breath and air and stories. standing swimming floating in pools of water cold hot. we. are. here. because words. 
*

On the Cusp of August

*
Where am I? Who am I?

Oh, me. Hello, again. Yes. Things have been busy. Good busy, but busy is busy. You know?

Yes, I know.

Hey - you know the coolest thing that happened to me today?

No, What?

The workshop I'm attending next week? They sent "this is the final email before the workshop ... important information ..." all relevant and all good. But. The coolest thing? They made a mix tape to listen to on the way to the workshop! How super awesome is that? I sampled a couple of the songs but am saving the full Listen for the drive next Friday.

Super cool.

Yeah. It is. They are. Super cool. Like that. Words and revolution. With its own mix tape.

August. The place to be.

Good night.

G'night.

*

Percolating and Sifting and Flow

*
At this time a week ago, I was returning to my room at Sun Mountain Lodge, near Winthrop, Washington. I had just completed the first full day of the Methow (pronouned MEH-TAU, I learned) Valley manuscript conference put on by Writing by Writers. The day before had been a full day, comprised of 8 hours of driving with another writer along for conversation, checking into our rooms, conference registration, dinner, a mandatory welcome meeting, and then an hour in our specific author cohorts.

Lidia's group at Writing By Writers Methow Valley

But the first day of workshop and panel and meals with the evening activity was last Thursday.

It was a powerful experience. I met some wonderful writers and reconnected with a couple of others from other workshops. I received helpful feedback on my ~15 pages and shared feedback (in the new Lidia-style-critique). I heard great writing. Went on walks and a short hike. Took turns on different patios and decks. overlooking the Cascade Range or the pool or a meadow. Drank in the bar. Attended a wine tasting. And more.

I left feeling energized about my writing. Confident about my writing. I had a better direction to go and left knowing my writing is solid and I can do this and I will do this.

Even after a few days of working long hours, I am still working on my writing. Even after diving into the script and the production of the next show I'm interpreting I am still carrying around the feedback and advice and insights about my writing. I also kept my Tuesday writing time, which I used to edit a piece for submission and that also doubled as my submission for my critique group.

As I typed the above paragraph, I realized that what I submitted to the critique group is double the length we agreed to share for feedback. I just sent the group an email and asked them to ignore half of it. See? Enthusiasm at writing!

Writing by Writers, led by the incredible Pam Houston, was a wonderful writing conference. Worth the time and the money. And I would do it again. They have other writing conferences - generative and manuscript and combination - at other locations. They will be returning to Methow Valley next year and I may return, as well.

With a completed final draft of the manuscript, I hope. I have set a goal for myself for a revised draft completion. I have also identified some blocks of time where I can focus on the manuscript, because part of the work I'm doing will be easier if I have time to focus in and not be distracted by work, and especially not by theater.

It was a great five days in Methow Valley.

I'm working hard to keep the writing flow going, even though the word river has to pass through and over and around some reeds and boulders in the stream. But nothing is going to stop me now.

And I have my Corporeal Writing underwear for the days when I feel doubt trying to take over.
*

workshop photos

More Corporeal Writing photos from the spring "Reinventing Revision" workshop with Lidia Yuknavitch and bunch of other wonderful beings. (photos by Domi J Shoemaker)

Corporeal Writing - Spring - Reinventing Revision

At this moment I cannot tell you why this workshop was so important.

Except that it was. It was face2face. Other writers breathing the same air, reading the same words, sharing, going into it together, speaking truths and insights and micro stories within the larger stories.

Words. My words their words our words.

Trust.

Exploration.

Explosion. Budding. Building.

More for which words have left me.

Working through the vision and re-vision and the revision of re-vision.

Facing ourselves and each other through writing.

Finding gems and tossing some out and getting to the pieces within, where the real stories lie.

And more. But now, sleep.