I knew there would be a few red square days on my NaNoWord Count calendar. Today was it. There may be more and there may not.
If I could make the Wednesday square black, I would. That would fit.
It wasn't that I was in mourning that I didn't write - though I was and am angry, frustrated, disappointed, and more. There are moments of overwhelm and sinking, moments of floating through the waves of not understanding how people could be so ______fill-in-the-blank_____.
I had things to do and a writing retreat to get to.
I considered not coming to the writing retreat today because I left my family at home and it feels so much like an important time to hold and love and breathe our people. Leaving her at home I feel a tug, and that's okay, we had some quality time before I left.
And I wasn't going to let this election take away my writing. Not even this one writing retreat. This is mine and it's important.
You may see some of my writing change, be bolder, be louder. I can't really pinpoint what will change but I have been changed through yesterday's results. This is my voice and I will write and I will share.
I'm at the coast, stocked with TJs groceries, a bottle of wine, decaf coffee, tea and the company of a writing friend. I will write. I will not be silent. I will not collapse in the face of what lies ahead.
A day away from writing to get me to here is fine. I'm coming out of the fog and I have things to say - or at least write.