.
elated by the news that I am done with the injections
and can skip today's planned trip to the lab
for another blood draw
nod my head to the phone when the pro-time nurse tells me
today 4 pills, tomorrow 3 pills
then we'll see
no lab today but yes tomorrow
another call from my insurance/care-center needing
to schedule a test with a long intimidating name
the test requires
no prep
it's another examination in an attempt to determine
why I
an otherwise healthy person who was at low risk
for this event -
why
it happened
I don't want anything more to be wrong and
everything points to everything being fine
except
these two spots
on the CT exam
which stole my breath away
the doctors want to know why
I just want them to go away
I just want to return to
normal, my normal
breathing returns
energy is still lagging
stairs are so much easier
and each day I meditate with hand mudras
visualize
my body's terror when I couldn't breathe
washing away
breath
calm
spots dissolving or being absorbed; shrinking
recovering
grateful to be alive
grateful for this strong body and organs
which kept going and are
healing
grateful for my partner
my friends
my life
and sleep
which I think is my greatest healer
breath
strength
returning
.
a word
.
