Saturday, June 4, 2011

Truth and Memoir

I've reunited with a childhood friend. My very best friend from second grade until a couple or so years out of high school. She was up here in Portland for three days and two nights for a special event where she was volunteering and she stayed at our house. I also volunteered for the event last night. Then today I drove her home.

I think I mentioned a couple of months ago that she and I had scheduled a lunch in Salem and it went great. I was a little nervous at first, because it had been - well, a really long time. We had been out of contact except for a one email each exchange in 2004.

[photo from
Then we were in touch, again. And now we've just spent three days together.

No - we didn't just talk about the past. We mostly talked about the present, or the recent present, with a few little trips to our shared school past.

It's interesting and I'm sure there will be more that comes up. One teacher she particularly mentioned as being mean and hateful and wicked was the teacher I wrote about last year as being very supportive and encouraging and who made a big positive difference in my child-life. I'm not doubting my friend's experience - but I remember that teacher very differently. My friend remembers my mother being very controlling and not letting me sleep over at her house very much (my friend's mother, in particular, was very liberal; my mother was not). My friend only remembered it being, like, two times. I remember she mostly did come over to my house, but I thought I was over there more than two times. Or maybe it's just that I spent a lot of time over there after school on weekends, but not so much sleeping over. And I bet the truth is in between the two.

We didn't touch on the reasons for our separation - which was not a conscious decision. We drifted; I went through a major life change that was harder in the mid-80s than it is now; and we drifted apart.

Her truth and my truth are both true and sometimes they're not the same. And that's okay.

It will be interesting to see what else surfaces as we continue to get to re-know each other and to re-learn about our past and our paths.

I guess it's true that truth can be subjective.