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Another NaNoWriMo has wandered through my life and out again. This time leaving me with over 51,000 more words than I had written 30 days ago.
These words are story - fictional in the beginning, an earlier draft of a novel I wrote on its way to being rewritten; then changed to life and energy and experience in search of something as yet unnamed.
The first story will be finished later. A novel. A kind of speculative fiction ghost story type of thing with a plot I like and a world which needs a little more world building for it to all work.
The second story is ongoing. Unfolding each day, refolding each day. Discovery and mystery. A story which is yet to be told and which may or may not have yet happened.
The second story is part of my writing toward the March Corporeal Writing workshop I will attend, and the longer May writing workshop in Methow Valley.
To keep writing. That is the goal. I've lowered my daily/weekly word goals because 1700 words per day is not realistic on an ongoing basis given everything else I have to do and want to do in my life. To keep writing is realistic and I have some good material here to work with.
Reflections: Final Sunset NaNoWriMo 2015 writing retreat Oceanside, OR
According to the Google search definition, Visceral means "Relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect."
That's a good word for today.
See, that's what I'm working on. Most of my life I've been a "head" person - a thinker - a person who weighs the pros and cons and tries to figure out the best course of action, which may mean looking at the worst case scenario and the probable cases and going from there.
There's a phrase, "plan for the worst and expect the best." Heard of it? I have. But the problem for me is that I do a pretty good job at planning for the worst case, and I think about the best case and my options. but I don't expect the best. In some ways that has, perhaps, led to less disappointment. But it's also led to less pleasure and less joy.
Because I live more in my head and doing the right thing. Rather than going from my inner knowing and feelings.
I've been working on this for a long time. Years. I've made a lot of progress, but once in a while something comes along and trips me up. Like an innocent encounter with a very nice person last week, whom I know had no ill intentions. Quite the opposite! But something in that interaction threw me out of my safe bubble and I've had bouncing feelings like a hyperactive hamster in a round cage. I talked with my therapist today and I'm back on track. But what a week.
Anyway - back to the word. Visceral. In the feeling body - deep and real; innate knowledge. Not living in the head and disconnected from the emotions flowing through the energy of the world. Sometimes being in one's head is a good thing, a safe thing, a smart thing. But being in touch with feelings at the same time - yes, it's better.
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I've been searching for my direction, for options, for that intuitive spark that jumps up and shouts, "me! over here!" Only my intuition doesn't shout and so, sometimes, I miss the information. And I've been taking more of a passive approach, because I learned long ago that chasing that unknown something can result in missed opportunities and missed paths.
So I've been waiting, watching, listening. And in this process have discovered some new music. It's not "new" music in terms of just released or undiscovered; but musicians I haven't noticed or haven't sought out more of their creations to listen to. Leonard Cohen. Regina Spektor. A Fine Frenzy.
Today I went for my massage appointment and was introduced to another new-to-me musician: Jami Sieber, electric cellist. It was the perfect introduction - during my cranial sacral bodywork session. {And if you're looking for a skilled massage therapist, for regular massage, light touch massage, or cranialsacral approach, I highly recommend Daria Howell, LMT. I've been seeing her since the person I was seeing previously moved away for some amazing opportunities. Daria is skilled, friendly, intuitive respectful and has really helped me physically.}
Back to Jami Sieber. Cellist; electric cello. I love listening to cello, a wide range of styles. But I'd never heard of her; although I may have heard her but not known it. I did a little looking around and found that she has done performances with other musicians, with writers, with authors who have translated written text, with dancers, and more.
Another interesting fact about Jami Sieber, which Daria told me, is that Jami played with the Elephant Orchestra in Thailand. I searched online for links of that and found a couple of good videos on YouTube, which have excerpts of that experience, in which she talks about that a bit. Check it out.
But I also found a few videos she posted herself. Some were from a performance in Seattle and, since she posted them, I thought I'd pass one along here. And I'm going to buy one of her CDs.
The video below includes another musician and a performance. Perfect: music and theater.
Jami Sieber:
Below is the video with some information about her music with the elephants project. I'm going to do a little more research into this project and see what I can find. But, for now, her is a tidbit. Oh: I hear that she comes somewhat regularly to Portland, so I will keep my eyes out for her next local concert. She is one musician I would enjoy seeing in person.
