Saturday, February 9, 2008

finding time

It is just after midnight. I want to write. I realize my last post was Tuesday and now it is Friday; technically it is Saturday although I have yet to go to bed, so I'm running on extended Friday time.

This week has been a challenge to writing time and walking time. This is one of my ultra busy times at my mortgage-paying job; what someone recently called the "big girl job." Meaning? It's a "real" profession in which I show up and (eventually) get paid to do that thing I do. And this week I'm doing more of that because, well, that's where the work falls. Being a freelancer means sometimes I have to take the work when it comes because a couple weeks ago it was slow. And sometimes the "big girl job" where one hour work equals one hour pay and the "I love to do this" work (for example theater, where I put in at least five hours work for each hour of pay) fall at the same time as the homework of the students of my adjunct 3-D classes and the assignments of the virtual students. That is this week. Oh, and today was my triennial adjunct faculty observation and review, where the department chair comes into a class and watches me teach, then writes up a formal evaluation to submit to the dean of the department, which goes on my permanent teaching record.

In the past this has stopped all writing. All creative pursuits, except for the theater and even that is me interpreting the director's and actors' interpretations of the script - so my creativity is not really my own, but interpreting what they have created. Which isn't bad - it just isn't mine.

Today the teaching observation and one of the plays came to fruition and those are off my list. They went well and I am glad to have two less things to be nervous about and two less things pulling focus.

It is also important for me to notice that I did manage to do some writing this week - although, admittedly, less - and post to my blogs, also at a reduced pace. And I still did it.

Tonight I am pushing myself to post this. To put something up and keep that creative thread connected. Even something simple like this keeps writing physically, mentally, and energetically in the field, which, for me, can be a challenge when there are high expectations or needs elsewhere.
What type of thread to you fear letting slip through your fingers ? What have you done to maintain the connection and not give up on creativity?
Reaching Skyward by Dot