All It Takes Is?

 *
I started to write this as, "All it takes is a little time and space to write." Which is true in that time to write and making space to write are important.

I started this women's writing retreat with the belief or the hope that what I needed was these two things with the novel and I could get it to the next level. I've been moving slower than I would have liked and part of the reason, I thought, was not enough time. I meant not enough long blocks of time.

I was at the combing point of my novel. I needed to go through each scene, each page, each chapter and make notes about characters and settings and plot and much more. It was hard for me to do this adequately in the short pieces of time I made for writing. And I did make time - it just didn't feel like enough.

I felt that what I needed was a big chunk of time so I could immerse myself in the novel and comb through it all within a period of time in which I could also hold it all in my head. Then, I would be able to move on, to take it to the next level of revision and move it toward publication.

And in these first two and a half days that is exactly what I have done.

I have read the entire novel from word one to word final. I have made notes about:
- characters
- plot points
- settings
- time (meaning date; and the actual time or timing in a few places)
- things I labeled FIX (meaning I need to fix it)
- things I labeled SNORE (feels gentler than "boring" and keeps the work lighter and I'm not beating myself up about it)
- things I labeled PROBLEM (bigger conflicts of plot which couldn't be fixed with a few words)
- who is in each chapter or scene
- research I need to do (or redo in most cases)
- plot or story ideas I might incorporate or look into further
- things I labeled as FACT in terms of the story
...and a few more. But I'm sure you have the idea.

I didn't think I would get to this point by this time.

I am happy.

And I realized there was one more factor for me. The magic ingredients were time and space and commitment. I've had the commitment and found the time and space, and the writing camaraderie thanks to the facilitator, Lori Lake.
*

A Week of Writing

This is the first day of the week long writing retreat I'm attending in Rockaway Beach. Which just happens to be one of my favorite places on the Oregon coast.

I will admit, now that I'm here and my fears were unfounded, that I was a little nervous. Excited - and
nervous. I know some people (who don't know me well) might be surprised, but I was nervous about coming to this writing workshop where I didn't really know anyone. I had met the facilitator and talked with her - and felt completely comfortable with her, but didn't know much about her beyond what is available online. I did meet her partner briefly - though I didn't know it was her at the time. And I had no idea who else would be attending. I'm open to meeting new people and I have to do it all the time.

But to deliberately put myself in a situation where I am sharing housing with people I don't know for an entire week? And what's more, to share a room with an unknown person? It's not my usual method.

However, I was so impressed by the facilitator when I met her, I was sure that others drawn to her would be okay. And there was something in her that I knew I wanted to write and discuss writing with her. Bonus that is was in one of my favorite places!

But a week? In a shared house? Me?

Yes. Me.

Today has been great. The weather was perfect. We snacked. We talked. We laughed. I went for a walk on the beach with a couple of the other attendees. The facilitator's partner is a gourmet cook in addition to writing and other talents - so we had a delicious home cooked dinner.

And I do feel completely comfortable with all of the other writers.

All fears were unfounded. All nervousness or anxiety has stepped aside for the excitement and the time and space for writing.

Look at me! I'm writing. I have already made some progress on the novel - which includes the use of something I printed out two weeks ago but never touched and I almost didn't pack, but tossed into my laptop bag at the last minute.

This is going to be an awesome week.

October is Prep Month!

"But, Dot, you're a pantser!"

"I know. But prep doesn't have to mean outline."

"What does it mean if you're not outlining?"

"Things like character sketches. I did that last year and it was fun, it kept my writing creative brain busy and excited about NaNovember, but I wasn't writing the novel."

"Snore. What else?"

"One year I did try an outline, sort of. That was a two thumbs down snoozer for me; the worst NaNoExperience I've ever had and I've never touched that so-called novel since; sucked big time. I've heard many NaNo authors talking about whole outlines of their novels. With research about subjects that will come up. With storyboards. Full worlds created and visualized And plot points and pictures with circles and arrows on the back and --"

"Dot, don't go rambling off into 'Alice's Restaurant' lyrics. Most people won't know what you're referencing, anyway. Back to NaNoPrep. The pantser's view."

"My prep? Reading. Reading more. Seeing what ideas pop into my head which may become novel ideas. Or maybe characters again. I don't know. If I'm getting super excited about NaNoWriMo again, then I want to do something to build momentum so I will be ready at the stroke of midnight which was Halloween and becomes November. Ready for the ML's "GO" to begin writing. Yes."

"Dot? Hello, come back. It's not November, yet."

"I know."

"So do you have any ideas?"

"Nope."

"When will you get an idea?"

"Don't know."

"What are you working on."

"Oh! That reminds me. The novel. It was a NaNoNovel. I really liked the story and my story is that I would never have come up with that story if I would have outlined it. Never. But I like it. So I'm revising. I did some revision a couple or so years ago, then set it aside to focus on the memoir. Now the memoir is marinating on the shelf, so I've returned to the novel. And a book of short stories I'm writing."

"And?"

"Oh. Yes. The writing retreat at the coast. I'm attending a writing retreat facilitated by author Lori Lake in October. That is really exciting. A whole week away, devoted to writing. One on one meetings with the author. Writing prompts. Some art projects. The beach. That is prep for sure. Plus I hope to get more direction on the novel during the week. And do some more writing of something else. The editing is still going well, I'm enjoying it. But I like to write new material, as well."

"Ah."

"Any more questions?"

"Nope."

"Good. Good night."

"You mean good morning?"

"Not on my schedule. Nighty night!"

*

Transferring Brain to Page

*
I'm at another "stump" in the editing process of the novel.

I've made good progress and was feeling confident. It was shaping up nicely and parts coming together. Then I decided to finish breaking up the all-in-one document into chapter and scene pieces in Scrivener to continue working the revision and rewrites. That was much easier to navigate when I was working on the chapters to submit for the upcoming writers' retreat and it seemed like it was time to get it easier to work on than in one giant document.

In that process, which necessarily included skimming chapters as I transferred them to the separate sections, I found several more disconnects in the story. More questions came up. Questions about the characters. About some impossible plot points which need to be addressed and some changed. Places where the story doesn't work as written or where there is significant information to be added which will enhance the story. The lack of physicality of characters. And so on. Editing types of observations.

And, again, I was reminded that - perhaps - working from an outline of some kind would probably make the process easier. The editing process. But, again, it's not the way I write. Or hasn't been the way I've been writing.

I tried to create an outline from what I have. I started a text document in Scrivener - as an addendum to the main work in the file, so it wouldn't be printed with the compilation. I started it in a TXT document; no good. I tried it in Word, with a little more functionality and formatting, but it was too overwhelming and frustrating and was not going to be helpful.

Then I realized that what I needed was more of a "mind mapping" approach. There are three main threads in the novel. They all come together, overlap, are related - eventually. But within each of them there needs to be continuity and each grouping has some strengths and weaknesses. So I thought that the mind mapping format might work to clean up the sections and give space to work with the novel as a whole.

That started the search for mind mapping software. Everything else is digital, so why not mind mapping! I had looked at a couple of programs a couple or several years ago, so I went on an internet search. Some are free. Some are java applications. Some are online; some are downloadable. Some have free trials and videos. I searched. And played.

After I bit I felt I wasn't getting anywhere and I had something else I needed to map out. I have a number of theatrical and writing obligations coming up, and workshops, and was having a hard time visualizing everything. So I decided to get out a piece of poster board - I have a small stock of poster board and other similar foundations for creating collages. I decided to section it into a year -  a rough, by hand, division not going for exactitude, but for separation by month. Then I wrote in the obligations, including a few tentative things with unknown start dates/end dates/ scope of commitment.

In my way - left over from years of working as stage manager - I also added symbols for the different types of events. Then I added a color for groups of types, for a quick glance overview of the activities to come. There is room left over to add activities and notes if needed.

That poster now hangs beside my desk.

As I looked at my theater, performance, workshop, and special event "poster," I realized that what I need to do with the novel is mind mapping - by hand. For the same reasons, to be able to add and draw lines and circles and arrows. To squeeze in something here and there. To literally get my hands on it and feel and see where the novel has gone, is going, what it needs. To know the story in my body. To make that knowledge visible.

It was very late (or very early, depending on your perspective) when I had this realization, so I have not made that insight a reality. Yet. I will.

Yes, mind to hand to paper. This will work.

Note: all of the "mind mapping" images are from online websites with software to share or try - except for this last one, which was hand drawn by the author of an article on the uses and benefits of mind mapping. A couple of the software programs come close - in appearance - to hand mind mapping. But, for me, it's the physical quality of the process, as well - not just the finished product.
*

On Creativity - Austin Kleon's Note

*

This note is from Austin Kleon's 9/5/14 newsletter, "Notes to Self."

I want to give it a space all its own.

Except to say, "Yes. This."

(Well, except the extroverted part. Though I have to channel my more extroverted friends and mentors at times. I'm working on number seven.)

*

In the Midst of Creativity

*
This has been a busy time. Is still a busy time

And it has been a good time. And a busy time.

It is also a time when I am reminded - or when my knowledge is reinforced - that creativity begets creativity. Our house is buzzing with it and more keeps coming our way. It is not more than we can handle - no - it is just more. There is a flow and flux which is working. I do know that some of it is due to work we've been doing for several years, building to this point. It has not been overnight; no; I know.

New opportunties. New inquiries. Some situations work out, some go away, some are not the right fit. But more comes.

Creative energy in abundance. And life is good. And still busy.

My partner has been working on her second book. Next week they are flying her out for a a photo shoot, where she will be demonstrating the processes she teaches and guides and describes in the book. She has also been working on examples and supplies for the art classes she will be teacher later this month. And working on her own art.

I have been editing a novel and researching places to submit shorter pieces. I interpreted a Shakespeare in the Park production in Bend - and there was much around that event which was good and inspiring.  I also started a new theatrical interpreting training/study group. For the study group, we interpreted an exciting set of one acts by Sam Shepard and that entire process was inspiring and rewarding and filled my creative cup several times over. I have also had a lot of other movement in creative energy related to theatre; more details will be coming about that later. And I did get the opening of the novel revised to fit the specifications to submit to the facilitator of the writing retreat I will be attending in October.

Creativity is present and active. We are busy, but a good busy, not more than we can handle. Excitement, energy, and remembering to breathe and allow time for rest.

*

Leaves on the Ground

*

It's funny how quickly the air changes. Yes, I know, it really wasn't quick, it changes all the time, it's only my noticing that changes. 

First it's hot and it's dry and it's summer and each molecule is warmed by the sun, each particle on my skin feels like summer and hot.

Then it doesn't.

Like that.

Like - hey, it's September, welcome. 

It is darker earlier. I did notice that several weeks ago. When the other interpreter and I were preparing for the interpreted performance of Twelfth Night in Bend. On Fridays and Saturdays we went to different wineries to see the play. Same show, different location, different days.

And over those three weekends, the footlights came on a little earlier in the play than they had the week before. So I noticed the light shifting.

Then the fourth week, in Bend, the lights came on at intermission.

I see that our temperatures are headed back up for this weekend. And that's good. My tomatoes could use a few more days of heat, they are already slowing their production.

I haven't had enough of the sweet, round, deliciousness. Each day when I pick the golden orange and red cherry tomatoes, half of them make it to the house. And I remember, again, why I don't eat fresh tomatoes very often at other times of the year. It is hard to find a tomato - cherry or full-size - at other times which taste as good as the ones I planted and tended and picked. And popped right into my mouth direct from the vine.

So the air. Now. There are still waves and layers of warm. But the cooler bits are present as well. 

Heat layers warmth and dry puffs mix with molecules of wetter composition. I can smell it. I feel it on my skin.

The calendar tells me it is still summer.

The leaves already beginning to fall tell me it is the edge of autumn.

My skin says, stay present with whatever it is. 

Cool warm sun cloud water. 

*

Incomplete Thoughts and More Questions

I thought I'd go ahead and throw this out there, even though I don't have the answer. Only questions. Only observations. Only wondering.

A number of months ago I was waiting for someone to show up at a rehearsal site. The studio was in one of those places where there are rows of businesses in what look like storage units or offices with accompanying garages. One of the businesses was, of course, a personal training/workout studio.

While I was waiting the personal trainer came out with two clients. I watched as he barked orders at them, as they said "yes, sir" and performed tasks which appeared to be questionable for one of them. I saw one of the clients in obvious distress, saw him say something to the trainer, saw the trainer be demeaning and belittling and the guy said, "yes, sir."

My thought when I watched the tyrannical personal trainer was that, at least in BDSM, there is a safe word. With personal trainers there is only, "yes, sir."

I've listened to snippets of self-help gurus who use prejudicial language, who put themselves above others as the experts and who challenge and bully their followers into submission. Or so it seems.

Recently I started reading a book which seemed to have a different approach. At first. But then she started in with the same language. Discriminatory. Belittling. Blame the follower, the victim, the oppressed.

I understand that there are difficult decisions to make in life sometimes. More times than we'd like. That sometimes we have to sacrifice. That life isn't always easy. That we do have to look at ourselves with honesty and admit what we can do and what we can't do.

But I wonder: do people have to do it through shame and guilt and being bullied? I do believe it is possible to make these same changes in more positive, supportive, healthful ways. Then my thoughts go to the opposite end (sort of), the you-can-manifest-anything-if-you-think-hard-enough end of the Change Your Life industry. And I think that, my desires and needs interact with others' desires and needs and sometimes we don't always get what we want no matter how hard we close our eyes and center our hearts and wish because sometimes needs conflict or sometimes what we think we need isn't the thing we really need or our need will unknowingly make another person's more necessary need impossible and so it goes 'round and 'round.

Where is the in between of trainer-without-a-safe-word and lala-manifesting-life-vending-machine?

I do know there is not one answer for all people and all situations. Each person has unique needs and resources. Each person has approaches which work or don't work. I know there are some more "middle ground" trainers/teachers/speakers/authors. And it seems that the middle ground people tend towards one side or the other.

My incomplete thought has not been clarified as I write this. I am no closer to an answer than when I began - I am actually farther away. I see more questions with each thing I write and I see where there is some truth in most of the approaches -- although I still don't care for either of the far ends of the spectrum : too whip-carrying tyrant or too blink-and-it's-yours hopeful.

Maybe we need to stop looking outside of ourselves for the answer.

And maybe we need to stop thinking it is going to be quick and easy.

And I do acknowledge that even being able to contemplate these questions is significant. I know there are people for whom survival is their daily reality and making change means getting themselves, family, friends, to safety.

Which brings me back to my original thought: why would a person willingly let themselves be bullied into making change?

No answer. More questions.

...*...

Falling behind on posting - but not on writing

It has been almost two weeks since I've posted here. I didn't realize it had been that long.

The excuse? I've been busy. Really busy. Work and theater and preparation for my upcoming workshops (which includes a new one added for this season).

And I have been writing. I am doing well with my daily journal writing. Yes, I have missed a day here and there. But when I went back and checked, between my writing by hand journal and my in-phone app journal (a little program called Dayly, and no, I did not mistype its name), and editing the novel - I have been writing every day.

One project which has been keeping me busy is preparing to interpret Twelfth Night at Shakespeare in the Park in Bend, and the lush green park along the river, Drake Park. The event sponsors are great to work with and the theater company, Northwest Classical Theatre Company - is wonderful. They put on a great show, they are amazing to work with, they are kind and nice and welcoming. It is a joy to be able to interpret their performances. And the interpreted performance was tonight. It went well, we had a good audience, and I look forward to being able to do this again next year. We have been preparing this play for over 4 weeks. It will be good to get that time back - and I will miss this production and these people.

And it is on to the next theatrical adventure - which is that I will be part of a five member team interpreting the Series A Fall Festival of One Acts by Sam Shepard at Profile Theatre on Sunday, September 7th. This is a special interpreted performance on several levels. That there are five interpreters is one level. This is the newest addition to my performance interpreting training workshops: it is a professional study group, and we will be working with feedback about our interpretations to improve our work over the next several months. Another level is that this is the first time Profile has done a festival of one acts - and they are amazing. I had the pleasure of sitting in on the read through earlier in the week and I am excited to see these plays as they develop. I like the plays and the actors. It is great to be able to have this to use as our source material for professional development. And I love the format - six one acts, a strong company of actors, and several directors.

I will also be offering my Theatrical Interpreting Preparation Series workshops this season. Both TIPS I (the introduction and overview) and TIPS II (the more intensive mentored, hands-up workshop).

On the writing front - I am continuing to revise the novel. I have revision on three of the six chapters (up to 25 pages) mostly done for the writing retreat I will be attending in October. I will do revision on the other three, then go back in for more tweaking as needed if I have time.

With this space here, I am searching for a direction, I think. I had the plan of posting revision as I went along on the memoir, which I have put on hold. For a couple of years I had a weekly prompt series I did. Now, I would like to return to more regular posting - but I'm not sure what I want to write about here.

It will come.

In the meantime, I am writing - just not much here. And I am doing theater - which also feeds my creative soul and inspiration. I will return to more scheduled writing here - and other things.