Thursday, April 25, 2013

Challenge : V is for Visceral

V is for Visceral.

According to the Google search definition, Visceral means "Relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect."

That's a good word for today.

See, that's what I'm working on. Most of my life I've been a "head" person - a thinker - a person who weighs the pros and cons and tries to figure out the best course of action, which may mean looking at the worst case scenario and the probable cases and going from there.

There's a phrase, "plan for the worst and expect the best."  Heard of it? I have. But the problem for me is that I do a pretty good job at planning for the worst case, and I think about the best case and my options. but I don't expect the best. In some ways that has, perhaps, led to less disappointment. But it's also led to less pleasure and less joy.

Because I live more in my head and doing the right thing. Rather than going from my inner knowing and feelings.

I've been working on this for a long time. Years. I've made a lot of progress, but once in a while something comes along and trips me up. Like an innocent encounter with a very nice person last week, whom I know had no ill intentions. Quite the opposite! But something in that interaction threw me out of my safe bubble and I've had bouncing feelings like a hyperactive hamster in a round cage. I talked with my therapist today and I'm back on track. But what a week.

Anyway - back to the word. Visceral. In the feeling body - deep and real; innate knowledge. Not living in the head and disconnected from the emotions flowing through the energy of the world. Sometimes being in one's head is a good thing, a safe thing, a smart thing. But being in touch with feelings at the same time - yes, it's better.

V is for Visceral. Feel it.
photo from Joanne Enslin and associates