I just got home from a 12-hour job. Exhausted, physically and mentally. Not because the work itself was hard, but going into it with not enough sleep (for several days) and some other stresses, I don't have the resources to make it easier. It is a place where the service providers have to be aware of who is where and keep a sense of the pulse of the place and people nearest.
But the work day is done. And I found myself wondering if I was really going to the midnight write-in! Geez! I have been ready for this day, that hour, and looking forward to being there with others. And now that it is here - I am considering NOT going?!?
No. I will go. I am determined to start this adventure off on the right track by keeping to my commitment to myself and get this novel going. I am sure it is just old patterns getting in the way -- a new adventure, unknown people, the chance of failure (so why even try?), the chance of success (who do you think you are? don't go gettin' a swelled head there, missy) -- excitement and joy masquerading as fear and fatigue so I won't be disappointed.
I. Will. Go.
I stopped at a bento place on the way home, bought chicken & steamed veggies on brown rice and an order of edamame. This way, I can be home, check my email, eat something healthy and warm *and* take a nap. And I have an iced soy latte waiting for me for when I wake up.
And I plugged in my laptop to get it fully charged - since I don't plan on being an early bird (I will be there before midnight, but I am not going to hang around for two hours before we can start) and may not be able to get plugged in until a few people go home.
I am ready. I am tired so I will nap. I will go to the midnight gathering and begin my 50,000 words. I will not let fear of failure/success stop me from following my desire to begin my novel in a like-minded group with the same goal - to finish.