Saturday, December 24, 2011

Halfway

Last Saturday the online writing Intensive with Ariel started. Since then I have written nine stories ranging between 900 to 1800 words. I have posted at least one story each day - two last Sunday; and I have an extra story which I didn't end up using of about 1500 words tucked away on my computer. That unused story isn't finished because other stories surfaced which better fit the assignments and the unfinished story was going to be too long for either one.

I just looked at my posts, thinking I'd missed a couple of days and saw that I haven't posted anything since Monday. Now it's Friday. And tomorrow the Intensive will be halfway done.

The middle of this week was Solstice. A time to look ahead to the coming year, to envision hopes and desires as the sun turns and we will begin climbing back to the light. Although this week has been especially mild and unusually sunny for December in Portland. I'm not complaining - just taking note that it has been dryer and more sunny than normal; although I do see on the current forecast that we are into a rainy period starting on Sunday.

So - the Solstice. Rejoice, rebirth, renewal - and visioning.

For me, this was a commitment to live my life from the inside outward. If you haven't been with me on this recent journey that may not make sense. But it's about living my life - not the one imposed on me or to meet the expectations from outside. It's about being present in my life and in my heart and soul and living from there and being in the world, from my experience.

It will include more regular writing, submitting more of my writing, using Ariel's editing and feedback on the memoir to revise it and then getting more feedback and advice and editing until it's ready to sail out into the world. It will include opening up my writing even more - taking risks, not censoring (although I've already made great strides in that), being bold and brave in my writing.

My vision includes more time to be inspired - which may mean staying in my pjs all day or going for a leisurely stroll or going to dinner & a play I'm not interpreting or reading. Or sleeping.

This vision definitely includes some time to be. To simply be or to be simple. Do nothing or whatever happens in the moment.

And to "Trust the Process."

Friend Rooze took a great picture not too long ago: a medium blue background with those words in white. She posted it on Facebook for her BFA Goddard cohort and there was some specific significance for them. I wasn't a part of that cohort but I know and need those words. Those are words for my creativity, my writing - my life right now. Trust the Process. I don't know where that picture was taken and it doesn't matter. But I do know that I downloaded that picture and it's my current laptop wallpaper - tiled: the picture fits on my  screen basically four times. Repetition can be a good thing.

Half way through the Intensive, half a week from the Solstice (I know it's Christmas Eve, too). And there was another "half" I was going to mention but I've forgotten. And I'll take that as a cue to go to bed.

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