This is the time when I need to be focused on completion of the memoir. Especially the first 100+ pages, which I'm trying to get edited and ready to submit to a book contest. The manuscript must be in their hands before the end of the month.
Not "make a payment," "attach file," SEND.
No. The physical pages, correctly formatted, with outline and personal statement and notes about the status of the final project included, need to be in their hands by June 30th.
And I've stalled out.
That doesn't quite feel like the right label for the process I'm in. It's more like the end-of-the-term duties as an adjunct instructor colliding with the commitment I made to a friend when June seemed so far off colliding with the news that my partner will no longer be teaching the four-credit class at a local university after this summer (read: reduced income from that source) colliding with the online writing class/workshop, the need to have a few days - even a few hours - off from everything, needing to sleep to walk to ride the bicycle to swim. The need to do nothing. For a little bit.
The end of the term issues are real. I have kept up with grading student journals and papers. I've had to do student intern observations and a couple of those were significant time users in scheduling and rescheduling and, in the case of one, drive time. I've written the observation reports shortly after the observation but each one takes me at least two hours. And now it's final journal time and final assignment time and that means more to grade. By the end of this week - the grades will be turned in and I will have five weeks off from teaching. With not quite three weeks left in June. Eeek.
And my commitment last week to two friends actually - one to give her a place to stay, the other to volunteer interpret for an event. The Blind Cafe. Which was a great experience and I'm glad I did it and I'm glad my friend stayed with me and I'm so happy I could interpret for the other friend - and learn that I, indeed, do not have good receptive skills for tactile interpreting although I do okay at being the tactile interpreter. And it took a lot of time. The friend who stayed with me was my best friend in childhood and over the cliff of adulthood - after which we lost contact for many years; only recently reunited. Which meant we stayed up really late talking (yes, even late for me!). And we talked a lot and hang out together a lot. And I did no writing during those three days.
Then it was right back to work.
So these all important things I've committed to do had to be done. And I haven't written much for coming up on two weeks, outside of the online writing group assignments.
I need to change that.
And I need to not get mad at myself for that.
And I need to just move forward. Edit and write and get the beginning chunk done so I can print it out on quality paper and send it, with the fee, and the required information, to the contest.
Editing this memoir needs to move to the top of my priority list.
Well, after I get the grades submitted.