Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Life Is A Mixed Bag - And Other Things You Already Know

This has sure been a time of ups and downs: unexpected surprises (of possible good news) and unexpected surprises (confusion causing contacts) and excitement wires crossing nervous wires and not being sure which is which.

I gave myself a deadline of completing the draft of this memoir of July 31st. I didn't get it done. I'm close. Really, really close. I can't remember if I already said this here or if I posted it on Facebook: it's beginning to feel like the never ending bowl of spaghetti at a restaurant. But then I go back and I have several more chapters completed and one new, unplanned chapter I wrote - it snuck up on me while I was writing something else and, voila, a new chapter was born. But there are still four unfinished. And a little editing is needed on the newest ones before I pass them off.

I    am    almost    done   with     this     book.

Then I hit a busy work week. More hours than normal and more days than normal and then there are the personal appointments on top of that. The end of that busy week led into another and then a strained foot made it so I couldn't even get to a friend's birthday party; the one "just for fun" activity missed. Then an email waylayed me emotionally for a day, which added another appointment to my week. Then I had an out of town meeting with another interpreter - that was very exciting and stimulating and plans and ideas were bursting on my drive home. This last weekend I had a two-day job which provided some great experiences - some went really well and a couple not so well and it's all a part of what I do. During that job I sometimes felt like "this is why I like what I do" and those couple of "not so well" times I felt like I should never do this again. Then another job went really exceptionally well and my self-esteem returned. And so it goes.

But I didn't write a thing this past weekend. All work; no play; no writing. I did sleep. I didn't get to the gym or on the bike or for a walk in the neighborhool. In fact, the only walking I did - in addition to all of the "floating" to see if we were needed at the conference - was the halls of my part-time job the night after the conference.

I've been at this place before - the end of a particularly busy time of work, trying to get some type of balance back. I woke up this morning, after my resolve yesterday to get myself to the gym and into the pool, feeling like there was no way I could do that and everything else I needed to do. Feeling too tired; overwhelmed; frustrated by a particular situation - "why bother?" - and that change-is-hopeless pit tugging at my ankles. Then the emails, the messages, the phone call to return, the survey to complete.

And now it's noon. The good thing about it being noon is that the classes in the pool at the gym are done. And I don't teach until 5 and then work after that. See - I can find my optimism again.

So - overwhelmed or not; nothing written except emails and taking care of business; I have had my coffee and my breakfast and. Yes. I will go to the gym. Then pick up the laptop and get close to the school (so I avoid the rush hour traffic to get to the school) and write.

Ups and Downs. I'm on the roller coaster of life and I will get this memoir done. Every bowl of spaghetti has a bottom and every book has The End. My schedule, while not yet "ideal," is better now that the conference and the long week before that are done.

Now, to the pool!