Day 7: NaNoWriMo 2023

Start of day word count = 16236
Total words written Day 6 = 4142

Day 6 was another process and non-fiction writing. Nothing more on the novella/novel/story. Truly I feel okay with that this year. For reasons I won't repeat and reasons not shared, I am satisfied with making writing happen, in the ways it needs to be. I am working on making more space for the writing I'd like to be doing more of: fiction, short story, memoir & creative non-fiction. I also want to have more time for experimenting with drawing, making comics, and I'd also like to have some focused time to learn more about watercolor in the realm of comics. Actual water and brush watercolor.

For now, writing is still happening every day.

Words go onto the page. 

My NaNoWordCount increases.

It's going well, even if it is currently in a complete jumble.

Day 6: NaNoWriMo 2023

Start of day 6 word count = 12094
Total words written on day 5 = 2512

Story Wanderings by Dot

Most of my writing for day 5 was related to the year-long class I'm taking in the Literary Kitchen. There were a couple of other expository rounds of writing, too. But nothing on the actual story, except in my head.

My head and heart are also filled with the Palestine and Israel situation. I'm still reading and listening to podcasts to get a better understanding and avoid the pablum being put out by the media and the people spinning their stories about blaming this side or the other - but not holding responsible who is really to blame. I've listened to activists to the far left, Palestinians, Israelis, American Jews and American Muslims. I've listened to and read from long time activists and "lefties" and young people still in high school, in college, in their 20s and 30s.  

I disagree with the activist who said we should not be calling for ceasefire. We absolutely should. I agree that ceasefire is not the solution to the problem - it is not. But we need to call for the killing to stop. *And* we need to look to other actions to stop what has been happening for 75 years. 

My heart was already heavy with losses and changes and the world being both literally and figuratively on fire. But it has grown heavier this past month as atrocities mount and people turn against people in the name of religion and politics and more.

Hamas and Bibi's military must stop. And the people on the ground, the victims, the dead and their families? They are not Hamas and they are not the military. 

And the hate being waged against Jewish and Muslim and Israeli and Arab people here in the US needs to stop. It is appalling how quick and hateful the country has begun. But then, the set up for the hate has been brewing for many years - longer than I realized, I know (I was among the naïve who believed we had made huge strides forward and would never go back). But the foundation was laid long ago for this hate and there is a group or groups of people who have been working toward just the chaos we have right now.

This hatred needs to stop. Here in USAmerica and around the globe. 

Some days right now, what I can do is write the emotions, the reactions, the tears in the form of words.

This NaNo I am now hoping I will come out of it with a medium short story alongside exposition and maybe research and a lot of exposition. I am not expecting a miracle of a novella; I'd say "yay" if it happened, but I would also be surprised.

Day 5: NaNoWriMo 2023

Start of day 5 word count = 9582
Total words written on day 4 = 1672

So far, so good. I am keeping up with the daily average word count of 1667. Nice. It's only day 5 now and that's okay. I like it when I don't fall too far behind in the beginning of the month!

Nothing new to report on story development.

I am happy to report that I am feeling a little more positive and a brighter outlook in general with doing more generative writing. Even if it is mostly semi-autobiographical with a mix of straight up journaling.

Writing is writing and especially in November!

I kind of doubt this one, but it would be nice!

"Done" meaning that I pass 50k words written.

Day 4: NaNoWriMo 2023 + bonus reminder

Start of day 4 word count = 7910
Total words written on day 3 = 3152

NaNoWriMo end of day 3 word count

Before my daily briefing about how my writing is going so far, a reminder - mostly for me, but also for anyone who might stumble across this in the next 24 hours: It is that dreaded (by many of us) time of year in the USA when, for most of us, time changes. In November we set the clocks back  and this year, since the thing which supposedly passed in Congress ?a couple of years ago? has been lingering somewhere in its bowels, we are doing the time change dance again.

Which brings into my squirrel brain none other than, Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. But, of course.

It is currently 2:00 AM on the West Coast. In exactly twenty-four hours from now, it will be 1:00 AM. 

Remember fall back; spring forward. This year we fall back on Sunday, November 5th.

Now a short hop away from NaNoWriMo for the scene from Rocky Horror. Feel free to skip, or go ahead, watch it, satisfy the brain squirrels.

There was a little more story writing which happened on Day 3. There was more exploratory writing than actual story, but I'm letting that be okay this year. This year is about the process of writing, rather than completion of a novel draft. I suspect that I might get a short story, or two or three, out of this, plus adjacent writing about place and time and back story.

This year's NaNoWriMo motto is: "all words are good words." That is usually my writing motto - but especially right now. This NaNoWriMo is especially about greasing the writing wheels and getting them moving again. I am still deep in the thicket of edits on the manuscript, but I feel much better when I am writing, too, and not only editing. Especially right now, this November. This fall was a little brutal in terms of non-writing responsibilities and demands on time, but I was fortunate to have the Mavens of Mythmaking with Ariel Gore still in process, so that kept me connected to writing. Without the year-long program, I could have been engulfed with the external situations.

So: short version = words happened. Many of them! Which is good.

Story progress? Not much. But I'm finding out who this still unnamed main character is and how she ticks.

Be well. Be safe. And remember to change your clocks before you go to bed Saturday night, unless you live where you don't have to gain/lose an hour twice every year.

*

Day 3: NaNoWriMo 2023

Start of Day Three word count = 4758

It's too early to know how the month is going to go. But I'd say I'm off to a strong start. That's about how it usually goes for me. We'll see how it goes as the month continues and work continues and so on.

Which is why I tend to take my annual NaNoWriMo writing retreat in the middle of the month!

Generally, around the end of week two, other things have come up and claimed my time. I've had "things I have to do" which detract from writing. Sometimes I just don't feel like it and the words don't come. That's okay. I haven't gone back and tracked for sure (and I'm not sure how much data I have saved on this), but I'd guess that by the end of week two, I am words behind the daily average target. The daily target it 1667 words. Yes, each day - 1667 words written. The thing about that number is that it seems to grow exponentially when you fall behind - at least when I fall behind. 

Enter a writing retreat! Time away from the laundry and the faucet which needs tightening and the drip out front which I can't really do anything about and the new neighbors and the traffic and and and. Time away where the only thing that has to be done is to write. So in the middle of the month, a writing buddy and I will take a few days at the coast - yes, she is doing NaNoWriMo, as well - and focus on writing.

The story? Thanks for asking. Eh. There is one. Fictionalized life or a total fiction - I know the answer and I'm letting it be what it wants to be. This year is definitely an exploration and a throughline and maybe a plot are poking through. Maybe or probably. We'll see where it leads!

One letter at a time, one sentence at a time. Full steam ahead to write a little more for day three before I go to bed. As my NaNoWriMo stat shows, I'm a night owl. That was absolutely a know fact before the month began!

Day 2: NaNovember 2023

End of Day One kickoff word count=1677
Start of Day Two word count=3353

I also thought I'd try Inktober/Cartoonistober/Drawtober last month. I started strong the first ten days. Then slowed. Then, when it became five days that I hadn't drawn even a 3x3 sticky note quick sketch, I accepted the reality that October 2023 was not a drawing month for me. I also stepped back from the Diary Comics class I'd signed up via Push/Pull. The first meeting was wonderful, the artist instructor was nice. I liked it. But I had too much happening at the time and realized something had to go. 

That's okay, too. That actually is a part of NaNoWriMo (or any writing or other creative adventure) - learning how to recognize when there is too much and it is interfering with, not supporting, your creativity. 

Earlier this week I listened to an episode of Cabana Chats from August 2023. She was talking about honoring and managing your capacity. That resonated. My capacity right now is a little lower than usual and it is not a moral or ethical failing, it's a fact. With the world on fire and politics (abroad, not just here) in the toilet and thousands of people being tortured and bombed and a list of atrocities I'm sure I don't need to recite to anyone who even glimpses at the news - of course my capacity is less. I am spending more energy on keeping afloat emotionally and spiritually. It can take more of my resources to get through a workday, where I work with an expansive range of people, many of whom hold different beliefs from mine, who may be in the opposition groups, who may say things which I believe to be morally bankrupt. Yet I have to be just as present and excellent at my profession for them as for someone whose beliefs are more in align with mine. That's good. That's a line I've learned to navigate well, and I am glad to have had to opportunity to associate with all kinds of people in this work. 

But sometimes my personal capacity is lessened by how much of it I have to expend at work. At being neutral and honoring the conversations I help facilitate. Because the conversations are theirs, not mine. My job is to allow the people in the conversations to be their full selves and fully express what they have to say in their own ways. I can do that.

Then I need my own time.

My capacity reservoir can run low when the need is high everywhere else in my life. 

All of this to say that

- I am resilient

- I am strong

- I am and will be fine

- I have limits

- right now life is sometimes hard.

So I am honoring my capacity and sometimes, I have to say, no. Not today.

So, I am doing NaNoWriMo. I even have a bit of a storyline started already, which is good, and unexpected. I am in the final month of the Mavens of Mythmaking year-long program, which has been amazing and I've benefitted from this writing community and Ariel's teachings and exploration opportunities; and I've made progress on the manuscript. The chapbook is going to be delayed; it is definitely not going to be completed within the Chapbook Challenge class time. The chapbook plan is solid and good and I want to do it - but I don't have the capacity.

So. NaNoWriMo gets to stay. The Mavens of Mythmaking, I am scrambling to get caught up with feedback for others. I hope to return to the Friday Night Comics soon, and dip back into drawing, which is always fun but it's been difficult recently to feel connected to that form of expression. Hopefully the fog of a too full schedule will lift soon and I can add more visual expression, as well (which is a major part of the chapbook).

It's November which means? NaNoWriMo!

November 1st means that NaNoWriMo has begun. Yes, I'm "in" again! Kicked off in my traditional way - the first minute available after midnight on the first day of November. 

This year, as it has been several times previously, "midnight" came past that mark in my time zone due to work. I think we actually started at what would be Hawaiian midnight or Alaskan midnight? I ended up working 25 minutes past when I was scheduled, due to a complicated situation I had to wrap up; that happens. 

Then I popped over to my friend's apartment where we kicked things off with tea and Trader Joe's snacks.

I wrote 1677 words, just a sliver over the NaNo daily average of 1667. I will write another - at least - 1667 later today. It's already later today, but our night wasn't over when we stopped writing about 3:30 am; so I am just now getting a start to my day. There was an emergency situation my friend needed help with and I'm glad I was there to help out.

At least it's still light outside, right? 

On to my day and more writing and preparing for a midday job tomorrow.

NaNoWriMo 2023 is officially underway!

11/1/2023 official word count (so far): 1677

Quarterly check-in (jk but not really)

 It's been a while. Which does not equate to the absence of writing, only to the absence of putting words in this creative space. To mark that I've been here, I'm sharing day one of Inktober2023, also known as Cartoonistober and Drawtober and Sketchtober, and other variations. 

I first joined in Inktober two years ago. I'd seen the hashtags and thought it looked like fun. I'd been experimenting with making comics alongside my writing; not usually together, but simultaneously. I didn't know that Inktober had some guidelines and rules so I felt a little guilty that I just did it my way. But I've come to do NaNoWriMo that way, too, so why not Inktober? 

When I discovered there were other variations, I felt better. I was not the only one not following the original rules of Inktober - which I respect and am impressed with those who create that way. I appreciate the October draw each day encouragement.

This year, I haven't made it each day. I have drawn something *for* each day, but it has not always been *on* the day. Too much going on and time is slippery and there are some things which are requiring extra time and attention, hence the "slippery" time label.

All is well. Here is Day One of Inktober 2023: Rain Dance, fitting for here, where we've been drier than usual. And on that day, it rained. That first big rain after some drier and warmer than usual resulted in my favorite smells, and nice puddles for reflection. (This was drawn with a Pilot G7, so preplanning as I tend to do {call me "pantser"!}, and in the small Moleskin I carry with me, which is cradled in a Portland Leather wine-red cover, with a long wrap strap to hold it closed.)

And, yes, I have signed up to do NaNoWriMo, again. Keeping my pen -and fingers on the keyboard- moving!

Shifting Normal

Tomato plant in our garden;
fighting off a leaf disease

I want to write something profound. It doesn't come. 

So I think that maybe I will write something personal, close to home, about this change of "normal." It floods in words and feelings and it doesn't look like what I mean and I think, that sounds like a pity party.

Delete.

I have so much to say about the shift of "normal" but it is large and others have already commented, are commenting. What do I have to add to the discussion?

Except my experiences. My own shifted normal to a place where I never thought I'd be; to a place which is the same but my perspective has been forced to a new view by conditions and situations which are - actually - outside of my control. They were not caused by me, were not sought for by me, were not wanted. If anyone would have asked me in January or February 2020, "Hey how about we try this?" I would have scoffed and turned away and known that wasn't my path to walk.

I haven't had COVID-19. I am still actively avoiding getting it because I have a genetic disorder which makes me at increased risk for negative outcomes if I were to catch it. I reconfirmed with my medical team six weeks ago when I had to go in for something unrelated. 

"No, YOU don't want to get COVID," the usually conservative provider said. The one who would happily prescribe more pills, is cautious with too many tests, and has told my partner and others that - since they're up to date on vaccinations - it should be okay. But not me. Not with the genetic condition for which there is no cure, only a medicine to offset what it causes (an increased tendency to make blood clots). 

One of the things COVID-19 causes is making blood clots. Also, recent studies have shown that, at least for some people, tiny blood clots are a factor in causing Long Covid. The primary drug for us regular people for treating COVID-19 is Paxlovid. Some medications are contraindicated for Paxlovid use, and among them are anti-coagulants, which is (one part of) what is used to treat exactly what I have. One type of anti-coagulant reacts so badly that Paxlovid is listed to be used only when they are out of all options. In this, I am lucky, because the anti-coagulant I am taking is the best one in terms of Paxlovid. If necessary, with the particular medication I take, I could take Paxlovid, but I would need to be monitored for blood clots, for DVT (deep vein thrombosis (blood clots)). Taking Paxlovid would increase my risk of another pulmonary embolism; something I would rather not repeat.

So, this "shifting normal" for me is, that I have a genetic condition which means that many places are not safe for me. Without masks, with no social distancing, with oftentimes questionable air circulation - my answer has to be, "no, thank you." Creative spaces, both inspirational for me and expressive, personal and professional, are not currently safe.

I am now on the "expendable humans" list. This is new. Because of a genetic condition I was born with, but had no idea I had until I ended up in the ER in 2011 with blood clots in both lungs, I am now pushed aside. I used to not be afraid of a cold and I didn't get the flu - I'm still not. But COVID-19? Different story. 

I'm not ready to die, but I am not afraid of dying from COVID-19. I am completely up to date on my vaccinations and boosters. I always mask in public, when around other people even at my home. We don't go to parties and crowded events. Because the internal damage from COVID-19 can be months or years-long. Some people are developing problems caused or triggered by COVID months or a year after recovering from the infection. I know people who are surviving and struggling with Long Covid. 

I would rather have a healthier life, with my brain cells intact, and my internal organs functioning.

So I will continue to avoid COVID-19. Which means I am missing out, yes. Which means I am still breathing, yes. Which means I can continue to work as an interpreter and do my writing. 

This is not normal.

This is not what I used to call normal.

This is my shifted "normal" as other people continue to get reinfected and think they are fine. Some are; especially those with the financial resources. Some aren't. Some people are dying or have brain fog or develop heart problems or diabetes or several other negative health issues because of that. Some people don't even know they've had COVID because they haven't and don't test, assume it's a cold, the flu, allergies, or they're just tired.

And don't even get me started on the climate situation. North America is already on fire and it's not even officially "wildfire season." 

If you have any of those nasty N95 or KN95/94 masks lying around, you might want to get them out. They also help to reduce harm from wildfire smoke.

The normal we knew no longer exists. Sometimes the attempts to replicate the past are like eating carob to replace chocolate. Just not the same.