8 * 3 * 6

I wasn't sure where my original title, "Loves and Losses and Missing Time," was leading, but it jumped up there so I went with it.

What I intended to write as I looked from my last post to now was about lost time. Not lost time, but time filled with things to do. With passions and permission, with commitments to others and to myself, with responsibilities and with new ideas and ideas waiting to come to fruition.

 It had been two weeks since I'd written here about my writing.

My writing is still moving forward.

I have a new thing I'm doing with setting some minimum goals. One is a daily intention. One is a weekly goal, which I can divide up any way I choose or can; that goal I have exceeded every week since I started tracking it.

The third thing I'm tracking (with a goal) is how much I write in a week. Although I've found with writing, that when I'm in the final week of preparation for a play, I don't write. Or I don't write much. So while I have set a weekly goal for writing, I have also discovered that the number within a week needs to be flexible and the time carries over. So that my weekly writing goal is actually an "even it out goal" with the intent of making up missed time within one to two weeks of the "lost time."

So far, so good.

Last week the only writing I did were a few final edits to a piece I submitted for the writing workshop coming up in two weeks. It wasn't a zero writing week but it was below my hoped-for minimum. But last week I had to attend a run through for an April play, prepare for a sign through for the play I'm interpreting this week, and I was preparing to interpret a poetry recitation competition. So my linguistic brain was in high demand, as was my time due to rehearsal and research and preparation.

This week I do have a writing date for two hours, which I will keep, Even if I'm writing about how I don't have time to write, I will write. I will try very hard to not write on that topic. But I will write. For two hours.

Otherwise this week I am interpreting a play on Thursday (for which I feel mostly ready, although I want to do a little more work on the hip hop song and digital detox acoustic piece) - and I'm preparing to interpret the state championship poetry recitation finals.

Writing. Is happening. Along with theater and the annual poetry event.

Poetry on my Mind

*
It is that time of year, again : Poetry Out Loud. The regional competitions were held last weekend and each region is sending the top three participants to the state finals competition next week.

So I have a lot of poems on my mind.

I have no complaints about my very busy schedule, which is filled with poetry and theater on top of the other word work I do. It is work and it is creativity and language, all rolled up together.

True, not as much of my own original writing is happening at the moment, but that will change. I am still working more at the editing and revising level of my own writing. I also wrote some ideas and a basic outline - *gasp* - of an idea for a play.

Poetry is at the top of my list right now as I am working on translations of the poems.

So I decided to share a video of one of the poems I am working on. Not all of the poems are this reality based; some of the ones we are working on are much more abstract or "poetic" with many layers of meaning. "Very Large Moth" by Craig Arnold is pretty straightforward, and it still carries a message.

No, this guy is not competing in Poetry Out Loud. But this poem will make an appearance.


*

Words I Hope to Never Hear Again

*
The Poetry Out Loud competition was really good last Saturday. All of the high school participants were well prepared and performed excellent recitations. I was glad I was "only" one of the interpreters and not a judge; high quality work from all of them. And I congratulate all of the students who went on to Oregon state finals and am looking forward to hearing who will be representing Oregon in the National Poetry Out Loud competition later this year.

The student from Oregon School for the Deaf did an outstanding job and she was a pleasure to watch. (We don't interpret the OSD students' poems; they sign for themselves and their poems are projected onto a large screen so the non-signers know what they are signing.) She did not score as one of the top three at the regional level last weekend, meaning she did not advance to the state level. She represented her school well and I hope to see more of her in the literary and performing arts areas!

This also meant that we did not interpret the state finals held on March 15th (we would have if there was a request from audience members, but there was not). I had many hours blocked out in my schedule for poetry interpreting preparation which I no longer needed. I was looking forward to a slower week, with some unexpected down time.

A little bit of that time was taken up with a meeting and an unscheduled special event. But even with the early in the week occurrence which resulted in words I hope to never hear again, we did manage to have our date night on Saturday. We went to a staged reading of "Hungry" by Amy Claussen at Profile Theatre on Saturday and stayed for the festivities and announcement of the 2015 season playwright; it was a fun night.

And writing? Yes, even some of that happened this week. I worked on the radio script and submitted that to my Friday night writing group for feedback. And I went to my Tuesday morning writing space - even though my writing buddy was unable to make it - where I wrote a blog post for Portland Center Stage. And then on Wednesday I started a new short story which is a kind of character study at this point; I'm not sure where it's headed but I like it so far.

Oh, and the words I hope to never hear again? The words which ended up consuming a significant portion of the hours I thought would be low key down time? The words which grew in severity, day by day, creating new tasks and phone calls and "must do it now" calls to action? "Data breach." That's all I'm going to say for now. "Data breach."
*

Performance and Writing

I didn't make it to Burnt Tongue 7 on Saturday.

The sign through for Bo-Nita went well, but I'd woken up with the beginnings of a sore throat and low energy. After signing through the play, we did feedback and had a discussion with the Deaf sign coach. When we were done, it was really close to the start of the event. I knew I needed to go home and take Wellness. Which I am still doing. I believe the illness which was attempting to sneak in has been kept at bay. Although I am still doing the traditional "drink plenty of fluids and rest" routine so it doesn't make its way in, as I've been around others who had symptoms beyond an achy throat. I don't want to get sick before Thursday.

I don't want to get sick at all. But especially not for Thursday.

I'm disappointed, but I know that I can't always do everything I want to do. I will check the date for the next Burnt Tongue can hopefully make it to that one. Although, if I'm remembering correctly, I saw the date somewhere and it is on a day I will be out of town. I will get to a Burnt Tongue reading; soon, I hope.

In other news, my Tuesday writing partner is going to have to miss a couple of weeks. This will be my personal dedication of keeping the same time and date while she is gone. I will. I will be there with my laptop and writing. And now that I've made it a public announcement, that very nearly guarantees it!

I've been having some creative bursts, which . More in thought than action, but that's good, too. I'm making notes and filing them. The timing is right, because my next play is in late April. I do have a couple of performance interpreting gigs in March (a poetry recitation competition and the Sign Mudra Indian dance performance with Jayanthi Raman) - but those events are different in terms of my brain space and writing than interpreting a play. The poetry and the dance performance still take time and preparation, but the creative process and focus is different than for a play.

I'm also excited about a couple of theater projects I've been asked to help with, or consult on, or something. Obviously the details are still being worked out and with one, very little is known at this point. But I am also feeling good about the performance related opportunities in my life right now.

"Is You Writing?" Lester asked.

Theater is one of my creative outlets. One of these projects does involve writing and creating. It will involve working with the Deaf Community and with theater. Perfect! No more details are available to share at this point. But it is exciting and I hope it will come together. We are still in the initial meeting to work out details phase - but I will keep you posted when it comes to be an actual event, ready for public announcement.

So, here I am. At my Tuesday writing place, with my decaf, fritatta, and GF bagel - writing. Tuesday post written? Check. Now onto working on the radio script. And maybe a flash fiction piece if I get bogged down in editing the script.

Write As If You Mean It

*
I'm listening to Stephen King tell his story. How he came to writing. His favorite genres. How as a child he was influenced by this or that, his brother, his mother. His teachers. His opinions. I read a paper copy of "On Writing" previously and enjoyed it, was inspired by it. So the information is not completely new, although some of it I didn't remember. So listening to him read his book is good and I hear more in the words when they come from his mouth.

I don't remember Stephen King saying "Write as if you mean it," but some of his words are similar to that, or conceptually similar to that in my opinion. Others have uttered that concept, as well.

Stephen King has a lot to say about reading and writing. About writing in your voice, writing your stories with your set of linguistics, writing with your own toolbox and he has some great words of advice about how to pack your writer's toolbox.

But, again, I find myself questioning if I'm a "real" writer after awhile. Because right now I'm not filling every spare minute with writing or reading. Because sometimes I do zone out watching an episode of Weeds or Bones or X-Files on streaming Netflix - rarely, but once in a great while. Sometimes I do play Sherlock, a logic puzzle game, on the computer or a game of Hand and Foot against the computer. Then I'm not writing.

And I think: wait. Sometimes my brain does need a bit of down time. When I take a mental break - and even better when I take a physical break - I am inspired. When I can let down, relax, let go, I can create. If all I do is go and go and go then I burn out before I get anything down. Although I will admit that sometimes, when I'm busy, creative ideas are generated - just not much generated in terms of action.

I started to type: "so I search for a balance - " and I realized that it's not the balance I'm looking for. Looking for balance is like searching the night sky in a metropolitan area for the tiniest star: it may be there, but you can't see it. "Balance" seems like a set up for failure. Instead I think I look for a minimal wobble teeter-totter.  And perhaps that is a up too close look. If I back off a bit to the big picture, then I suppose maybe the wobble would appear more balanced.

Note to self.

When it gets to actually putting word on page I think the important thing is to believe in what you're writing. Write as if you mean it, even if you're not sure. Intention is at least half the battle, right?

If I'm sitting down to write and I doubt that what I'm doing is any good or that I have a right to write, then, well, you know. I don't have to tell you. You have to believe in what you're doing. That is a message Stephen King would support, I believe, and it's one thing I extrapolated from "On Writing." I appreciate the reminder that as a writer I can't let other writers, famous or local or unknown/imagined bring down my writing before I even get it out.

I, the writer, have to believe in my own writing. That doesn't mean to not get feedback or listen to advice. But at some point I have to say that this is mine and that this is what I want to write and, and, so there.

I have to write as if I mean it. And then keep writing and it will be true.

Tomorrow I interpret the Oregon State finals of the Poetry Out Loud competition. This will be the fourth performance event I've interpreted in two weeks; the final event in a month of preparation. That is what has been filling my time, along with theater-related blog posts, a few posts here in The Writing Vein, and editing the memoir.

*

Update.

I held this post, hoping to revise and find a good picture. The title doesn't sit well with me. But there it is and here I am and the Poetry event is done. It went well; the contestants were excellent; and "we rocked it." Our interpretations were, for the most part, right on the mark in alignment with the goal of what we're doing - what the contestants are doing.

I finished the Stephen King audiobook on the way home from the VRS shift I did after interpreting the poetry. Just in time to move on to a fiction book. And I closed it just as I closed the physical version I read a few years ago, satisfied, inspired, and accepting a good percentage of what he said.

So as I listened to the last chapter of the book as I drove home in the dark and the rain, I also downloaded the first section of the book I want to read (listen to) next. Time to grab some fiction time between plays - I have just over three weeks before preparation on the next one begins.

And I packed up the section of my book I'm editing for Monday's submission to my writing group.

I'm back full circle.

Reading, writing, editing.

*